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I spent most of fall and winter on the depressed end of my range, and altogether about a month in moderate depression. In the last days, I've been irritable, and I think there is a chance of it flipping. The pdoc suggested previously going on Lithium since he doubts the Depakote will do. Today, someone at work pointed out I was being 'exceptionally' energetic (I do realize gesticulation being quite extreme). I don't much feel like sleeping today, and I'm far enough north for the aurora to potentially be visible, which means I'm staying up!! I will call in to get an appointment about getting on Lithium, but I have been putting that off for more than a week already. And I've been missing mania again, there are many moments I think back to and hope it'd be like that again, the beauty of everything, being so damn high! Something's not quite right, I'm pretty sure if I wanted to escalate this into mania, I could, and if certain people I like being manic around were in the area, I certainly would (and I want to very much in any case).

 

I realize this is not a straight story, sorry for rambling, I think my point is: I am not entirely sure how capable I am of judging myself. How  do I seem? Currently no one around to judge me in person (not many people know of the diagnosis in the first place, relationship broke recently, moved, only been diagnosed for about a year, not very fond of anyone telling me what to do...)

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I'd call your pdoc. I of course don't know you, but you are listing several potential "tells." And it is kind of weird for a co-worker to call you "exceptionally energetic," it's more hyperbolic that what most people would say if you just were having a good day.

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