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I like orgasms, but don't need a penis for them. I like frisky, harmless fun with friends of any gender (even transgender). I get crushes, and have fantasies, but they never amount to much. I am able to have meaningful, emotional relationships.

 

I do have a very good guy friend I indulge in a friends-with-benefits type relationship but I find penii and the accompanying fluids just nasty.

 

Does this make sense, or am I even crazier than I thought?

 

Can you relate?

 

 

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I don't care for orgasms, myself. They're kinda scary and painful. I'd rather go without, given the choice.

Lots of people aren't into cock and their associated juices. That's fine. Other people are and that's fine too.

I don't have crushes, and I'm still romantic. I don't really see the point.

 

I don't think that sexuality, including confusion around sexuality, is really all that indicative of a crazy. After all, it's really confusing for just about everyone!

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I don't think it's too unusual to find the actual nitty-gritty of sexual encounters disgusting while still wanting and enjoying them. Some people just find genitals gross. I've heard similar things from a wide variety of people. 

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As a male, I find playing "hide the sausage" of limited or no importance in sexual intimacy.

And treating that as some sort of Olympic event where speed and duration gets the medal is even less appealing.

 

Finding where a lady likes to be stroked, now that can be a lot more fun.

And unlike the stereotypical man, I am prepared to stop and ask for directions.

 

Chris.

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I like orgasms, but don't need a penis for them. I like frisky, harmless fun with friends of any gender (even transgender). I get crushes, and have fantasies, but they never amount to much. I am able to have meaningful, emotional relationships.

 

I do have a very good guy friend I indulge in a friends-with-benefits type relationship but I find penii and the accompanying fluids just nasty.

 

Does this make sense, or am I even crazier than I thought?

 

Can you relate?

 

I like Orgasms too!

 

I don't mind a dick or semen...

 

For me i can't make emotional connection (romantic ones) with men and i can't enjoy sex with a man.

 

When i have sex with a man it's not enjoyable and i feel violated. It just never felt good, but i didn't hate the penis or the semen...just when i got down to the act it wasn't enjoyable.

 

In another post i spoke about the difference between my feelings towards men and my feelings towards women,

 

Women:

  • Hot
  • becomes obsess
  • must be near her
  • i buy her everything she wants
  • i think about holding her hand and kissing her. (i always end up holding her hand)
  • if i am not friend with her than i'll profile stalk her rofl

Men:

  • He's good looking
  • good attributes
  • Thought "he could be a good mate...could have pretty kids and smart ones"

In the end i could only see a guy as a great friend and nothing more.

 

I know if you look at it you could be like well it seems like you could be for either or, but that's not the case with me. When you look at woman.. i get more of the true poster on my wall crush and for guys it seems more like i'm hiring someone.

 

I accept that i am most likely (most definitely) lesbian, but i am more afraid of society. I have seen what my family has done to my gay uncle and i have know about his constant bullying from childhood to in work place. His coworkers use to lie about him and say "he hates women and that he is abusive to his patients." He's been a nurse for 30 years maybe more; if he was really abusive and hateful towards woman.. how could he have made it through out his whole career?

 

Sexuality is confusing and hard to pin point. My therapist said it's more of a fluid thing than a back and white definition. Just my advice is do a column...emotional interest Men vs. Women..sexual pleasure Men vs. Women...

 

You could have sex with a woman and find out you are not pleased by that..and the u can consider urself asexual.

 

But if you like oral sex done on u and fingering and kissing....but, you hate/don't get pleasure out of penetration. I think you will like being with a woman

more than with a man.

 

And people will challenge you saying, "well what if you haven't met the right man?" For me personally i slept with a few men with that same question in my head "what if i didn't meet the right man?" I was with a man who was very very experience in the art of sexual pleasure...i still hate penetration.

 

I am still figuring out my own sexuality, but i think i have some of it understood.

 

I hope this has helped a little!

 

(you could hate the area down there and still enjoy sex with a man)

 

I felt like i had to say something else but i forgot....

 

I think this is what i wanted to say.. "Just go with the flow and follow your heart" (just learn what is ur heart feeling and what is fear)

Edited by CherryBlossom
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I guess I find this thread bothersome because I am asexual and there is way more "I like sex" in this thread than I can ever possibly see myself identifying with. If you like some aspects of sex, then you like sex. Maybe you don't like all sex (no one likes all of it) and maybe you only like it with certain people. That still makes you a sexual being. Out of the aces that I know and talk to about this, I don't know of any who like orgasms.

 

My asexuality doesn't like any sex at all. I don't really find anything enjoyable out of it. I don't like the "feel-good" of it because it just sort of makes me feel hurt and confused. I can't really think of anything that falls under "healthy sexuality" that I like, with the exception of back rubs. Back rubs are why I define myself as romantic. I will do a lot of things for a good back rub.

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I'm not big into sex, or anything. I like hugs and cuddling. Man or woman, doesn't matter. I just don't like the sexual aspect. I'd rather just be close. To me, that's better. It sort of squicks me out, to be honest.. I don't know, sex is kind of confusing and embarrassing. (And no, I haven't been through trauma, in case anyones wondering)

I don't mind orgasms. I have my Hitachi.. sorry if that's TMI. :)

 

It doesn't make you crazier. At all.

 

Screw putting a label on it. Call it what you want. :)  You don't need a label for everything.

 

I can sort of relate.

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I hope it's OK if I join the discussion. I am sexual, but I am always learning.

 

Maybe this isn't new at all and I'm unaware of it existing, but sometimes I wonder about sexuality being a continuum as a grid - not just as the two directional Kinsey Scale. Maybe sexuality, or lack thereof, is just how you relate to sex in general. Bi, straight, gay on the x axis and general interest in the other directions. Same rubric exists for me for romanticism. Anyway, that's just how I have come to understand sex in general as a high libido, any kind of sexual being in a committed relationship with a man who is heteroromantic and greysexual. 

 

If I'm in the wrong, feel free to smack me down. Like I said, I'm always learning.

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Mari, that is exactly how I picture it. I wrote about it in another thread somewhere (not my own thread, just some random place) but I didn't explain it very well and I think what people gleaned from it wasn't really what I was trying to say. but yeah, that's exactly what I think it is also. (I identify as asexual, for the record, and only very slightly romantically inclined.)

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I pretty much have no interest in sex, and I consider myself asexual. I am somewhat romantic toward women (thus queer/lesbian) and some other genders (so polyromantic I guess?) but I don't really go out of my way looking for relationships and am fine without one.

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