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Who the hell am I?


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*** Potentially Triggering To Some ***

*** I list height & weight numbers ***

 

Lord, I wish I knew! lol

 

I'm Izzy and a lifelong crazy (or so they tell me, I personally am normal and they are all the crazy ones...IMHO). My journey down the crazy path started when I was 7 and my mother remarried an abusive guy who liked to beat the tar out of me (and my mother too). When I was almost 9 a guy tried to kidnap myself and my best friend one evening as we were walking home from getting slushie's from 7-Eleven. By age 10 I got my first diagnosis after seeing a therapist for a while; panic disorder, with agoraphobia and generalized anxiety disorder...go figure right? At age 11 my mother and the abusive a-hole step-father got divorced, yea right? But then my mother decided to move us half-way across the country to Los Angeles...boo. By age 12 I got the label major depressive disorder added to my growing list of crap. Okay, yes 11 and 12 year old girls can be moody but this was way beyond that.

 

It wouldn't be for a few more years that I got another label slapped on me; anorexia nervosa, with purging and self-harm tendencies. By senior year of high school I managed to get down to 76-pounds and I'm 5'8" which landed me inpatient for my first time and it lasted 11-months (I had to repeat senior year because of it too). Anorexia and I have managed to maintain an uneasy truce for most of my life, but it does flare up occasionally and I end up back inpatient until I stabilize. I had my first rape when I was 16 and a second rape when I was 19 (on my birthday as a gift from a friend of the family no less), which has sort of cause intimacy issues for me.

 

When I was 22 I lived in something akin to a war zone in LA, witnessed a gang fight outside my window in the back alley and then a week later was in a convenience store when it was robbed and I witnessed 6 people get shot (the only reason I lived was he ran out of bullets and there were sirens so he fled rather than reload and kill me). Needless to say, my PTSD diagnosis came later that same year...again, go figure right?

 

I developed OCD before I was 10...if I did A,B,C and D just right, I wouldn't get beat. If I did X,Y, and Z I wouldn't get kidnapped, if I didn't sit on the subway seat, I'd not turn into the person who sat there last, and so on. It wouldn't be until my early 30s that my OCD finally got completely out of hand and I got that OCD label added to my list. 

 

I've had plenty of other labels slapped onto my list over the years, my most recent is borderline personality disorder and dependent personality disorder...can you have more than one personality disorder? I don't know anymore...nor do I really care all that much about all the stupid labels either...

 

Izzy

 

 

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Izzy, welcome to Crazyboards.  I ask all new members to read the rules, so you understand how we operate.

 

Also, if you are going to be posting on the Eating Disorder board, please read the pinned guidelines before you write anything.  We don't encourage people to post heights and weights and the mods on that board will enforce that guideline.

 

I hope you will stay with us, and get to know some of our members.  There are lots of great people here at CB.

 

olga

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Also, if you are going to be posting on the Eating Disorder board, please read the pinned guidelines before you write anything.  We don't encourage people to post heights and weights and the mods on that board will enforce that guideline.

Hi olga,

 

On ED boards I'm well versed on the whole not discussing numbers and the like; heck I find them triggering at times too. I wasn't sure if they were allowed on the intro board or not, so I put the trigger warning in just to be safe.

 

Thanks for welcoming me to the board, and so far I am enjoying my interactions here.

 

Izzy

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You sound pretty "normal" to me too :nerdy: . With what you've experienced it's impressive that you are able to come here and tell your story. I hope you're proud of that; you should be. :D Sometimes it's the little victories, you know?

According to this article the two disorder are commonly confused, but you probably can't have both of those specific mood disorders. it gives an example of the difference between the two that should be pretty definitive in case you're interested in the labels at all or maybe the doctors are...

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/dependent-personality-disorder

 

 

 

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According to this article the two disorder are commonly confused, but you probably can't have both of those specific mood disorders. it gives an example of the difference between the two that should be pretty definitive in case you're interested in the labels at all or maybe the doctors are...

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/dependent-personality-disorder

I actually had a talk with my therapist about this and we went over the criteria for both. In the end it was decided that my BPD covers the symptoms of dependent personality disorder that I exhibit and so far this therapist has been spot on. The BPD diagnosis came from my therapist, while the dependent personality disorder came out of my last inpatient stay...so my BPD stands, my dependent personality disorder is out. See, I am finally getting better! :P

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