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Hey guys, i am still coming to grips with this illness. i live in a racist, hurtfull spitefull country town where everyone knows what everyone else is doing and nobody minds their own business.

 

I've constantly been bullies by the public for having a Malaysian wife not to mention her skin colour
I've also been constantly bullied by general public because of my Islam faith

 

Do you guys ever get the feeling that you shouldn't be on medication and that all you are doing is pleasing others by been on it. I mean with attitudes like this is it possible that my dis order has been created because of constant bullshit through  my entire life

 

I mean i've even been kidnapped for crying out loud... 

 

Is it possible it's not actually me but the people around me???

 

I mean every time i get bulllied or pushed over by someone in life i stand up for myself yet i am the one to get into trouble? what a  joke!

Edited by Puddles2009
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Do you guys ever get the feeling that you shouldn't be on medication and that all you are doing is pleasing others by been on it. I mean with attitudes like this is it possible that my dis order has been created because of constant bullshit through  my entire life

 

I mean i've even been kidnapped for crying out loud... 

 

Is it possible it's not actually me but the people around me???

 

No.  Whatever may or may not be going on around you, everything you've posted here under your previous username and under this one screams loud and clear that you need professional help and medication. Period.

Edited by miab
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Medication aside...

 

yeah, I sometimes ask when I see what is happening around me, some of the people and their doigns... *wait... and I am the crazy one?*

 

I came to peace with parts of myself. I try not to judge myself through lens of the society, cause I would hate myself so if I did.

 

One should work on being at peace with yourself. Feeling good in your skin. Others don't really matter as much, as long you are don't do soemthing that violates their rights.

 

And yes, I think constant bullshit through life and traumas can fuck you up in major way. But I think one can learn to deal with the past and move on from there and come stronger out of it. Do you have a way to address your issues and traumas?

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Medication aside...

 

yeah, I sometimes ask when I see what is happening around me, some of the people and their doigns... *wait... and I am the crazy one?*

 

I came to peace with parts of myself. I try not to judge myself through lens of the society, cause I would hate myself so if I did.

 

One should work on being at peace with yourself. Feeling good in your skin. Others don't really matter as much, as long you are don't do soemthing that violates their rights.

 

And yes, I think constant bullshit through life and traumas can fuck you up in major way. But I think one can learn to deal with the past and move on from there and come stronger out of it. Do you have a way to address your issues and traumas?

 

Normally i just get violent and smash things up, that always cheers me up, breaking things definatly cheers me up. Once i've released all that anger i feel better

 

that's why i hate been on meds it suppresses my anger and living around here you need anger to survive in this society

 

That's why i want a job in meatworks because it will use up all my anger, as i am cutting up cattle i can imagine that blade gutting the sheep i can just picture it been someone i hate and how easy it would be. As i'm trimming the meat i can put all my violence into the knife work

Edited by Puddles2009
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Normally i just get violent and smash things up, that always cheers me up, breaking things definatly cheers me up. Once i've released all that anger i feel better

 

that's why i hate been on meds it suppresses my anger and living around here you need anger to survive in this society

 

That's why i want a job in meatworks because it will use up all my anger, as i am cutting up cattle i can imagine that blade gutting the sheep i can just picture it been someone i hate and how easy it would be. As i'm trimming the meat i can put all my violence into the knife work

 

 

Oh, for fuck's sake.  I give up.

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Normally i just get violent and smash things up, that always cheers me up, breaking things definatly cheers me up. Once i've released all that anger i feel better

 

that's why i hate been on meds it suppresses my anger and living around here you need anger to survive in this society

 

That's why i want a job in meatworks because it will use up all my anger, as i am cutting up cattle i can imagine that blade gutting the sheep i can just picture it been someone i hate and how easy it would be. As i'm trimming the meat i can put all my violence into the knife work

 

 

Oh, for fuck's sake.  I give up.

 

 

It is society that has made me this way, not an MI i was born with

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It is society that has made me this way

Isn't that what most violent criminals say?

 

Many, many, MANY people have been treated horribly by other people/society at large, in unspeakable ways that we can't even fathom. Do the majority of them go on to commit assaults and destruction of property then claim it's not their fault because society was mean to them? No. They don't.

 

Just stay on your meds for the fucking love of god. 

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Normally i just get violent and smash things up, that always cheers me up, breaking things definatly cheers me up. Once i've released all that anger i feel better

 

that's why i hate been on meds it suppresses my anger and living around here you need anger to survive in this society

 

That's why i want a job in meatworks because it will use up all my anger, as i am cutting up cattle i can imagine that blade gutting the sheep i can just picture it been someone i hate and how easy it would be. As i'm trimming the meat i can put all my violence into the knife work

 

 

Oh, for fuck's sake.  I give up.

 

 

It is society that has made me this way, not an MI i was born with

 

 

There are way better ways to manage anger.  Like go to a therapist and use the techniques they tell you about.  I have PTSD and an MI.  Which came first? the chicken or the egg?  Who the fuck cares.  I just do my best to fucking fix it not wonder about some imaginary perfect life.  

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That's the thing why should i have to fix my ways because of the way people have made me today? Can anyone really blame me for been violent and psychotic when it was society that bought it out in me

 

I really feel sorry for the next person that pushes me over the egde hey!

 

I dont call it having a problem, i call it standing up for myself!

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That's the thing why should i have to fix my ways because of the way people have made me today? 

 

Because as a society we have decided that committing acts of physical harm against other people or their property is unacceptable, and we have put laws in place to punish people who commit these acts. Nothing gives you the right to harm other people, regardless of how much you think they deserve it or that you're justified in doing it. Nothing. And wanting to go off your meds so that you can regain your anger and violent tendencies is a really, really dumb idea.

 

But, hey, do what you want. It's clear you're going to regardless of what anyone says. Enjoy prison. 

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I agree. Like anger management classes, intensive therapy, and staying on his meds

 

I used to having a boxing bag once for anger management that was until i doused it in petrol set it alight and stabbed it repeatedly

 

 

I've spent the past twelve years as a web developer and hanging out on the web.  This is an obvious inflammatory statement commonly called trolling in order to get people upset and cause "hilarious" response posting.  It's possible you didn't mean it.  But I'm a fucking cynical bitch after reading too much in too many places and I don't believe it.  It's blazing obvious trolling.

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I agree. Like anger management classes, intensive therapy, and staying on his meds

 

I used to having a boxing bag once for anger management that was until i doused it in petrol set it alight and stabbed it repeatedly

 

 

I've spent the past twelve years as a web developer and hanging out on the web.  This is an obvious inflammatory statement commonly called trolling in order to get people upset and cause "hilarious" response posting.  It's possible you didn't mean it.  But I'm a fucking cynical bitch after reading too much in too many places and I don't believe it.  It's blazing obvious trolling.

 

 

No i did... when i was living over east i used to really have one that's how bad my anger got. 

 

The only reason i want to be able to get angry is for self defence

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That's the thing why should i have to fix my ways because of the way people have made me today? Can anyone really blame me for been violent and psychotic when it was society that bought it out in me

 

I really feel sorry for the next person that pushes me over the egde hey!

 

I dont call it having a problem, i call it standing up for myself!

 

maybe you don't wanna hurt others like you been hurt?

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That's the thing why should i have to fix my ways because of the way people have made me today? 

 

Because as a society we have decided that committing acts of physical harm against other people or their property is unacceptable, and we have put laws in place to punish people who commit these acts. Nothing gives you the right to harm other people, regardless of how much you think they deserve it or that you're justified in doing it. Nothing. And wanting to go off your meds so that you can regain your anger and violent tendencies is a really, really dumb idea.

 

But, hey, do what you want. It's clear you're going to regardless of what anyone says. Enjoy prison. 

 

 

Prisons a lot nicer than a psych ward and i'm not a train wreck, it's called standing up for myself. like i said it never was any illness...it's just other people treating me like shit and expecting me to change my ways for them

Edited by Puddles2009
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The only reason i want to be able to get angry is for self defence

If someone is threatening you physically, call the police. It is their job to protect you.

 

But I don't see why you need to go into black-out rages (such as the ones you have described in the past) in order to "defend" yourself. In fact, it seems to me that the people around you are the ones who need protection. 

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The only reason i want to be able to get angry is for self defence

If someone is threatening you physically, call the police. It is their job to protect you.

 

But I don't see why you need to go into black-out rages (such as the ones you have described in the past) in order to "defend" yourself. In fact, it seems to me that the people around you are the ones who need protection. 

 

 

Well that's what people get for pushing me over the edge now dont they

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