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Any suggestions for keeping the crazy at bay? I see pdoc and tdoc on the 27th.

I have a scratch on my back, I don't know how it got there.

Part of me thinks it is perfectly reasonable that it got there by someone injecting me w drugs to control my thoughts and they also gave me amnesia so I don't remember it.

But as I think it, I know that didn't happen, or that it is unlikely. I don't feel like my thoughts are being controlled right now, so why do I think this? But what if the control is just dormant?

I am fine. I'm at work.

I'm thinking a lot ABOUT being paranoid, about a conspiracy against me by other runners who claim to be my friends. I am thinking to myself, this is what I will end up thinking, if I get paranoid, even though I don't quite believe it and don't see these people it is best to be careful though I know truly that nobody is doing anything to me it is there just waiting to be thought. If that makes sense.

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I'm sorry that you are feeling sick jarn. I think that you should call your pdoc and see if you can get in to see him prior to the 27th. It's important to do this now while you have insight.

 

Also, I have taken every class of psychoactive drug, and I have never found a drug yet that could control my thoughts. Moreover, there would not be any torture in the world if people's thoughts could be controlled by drugs.

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Thanks.

 

I skipped the gym tonight and am being quiet at home and that is making me feel better - it's like a brain storm that leaves me exhausted afterwards.

 

I scheduled a bunch of stuff for the 27th and took the day off, so I don't want to change it.  I had lowered my dose of Saphris for a week or so b/c my prescription was running out, though some of this was starting beforehand, but I think I will see how being back on 25mg for a week does...it's been since Friday I think that I have been. 

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I went to work today (I didn't yesterday) but didn't go to the gym because my head opened up on the way home and I knew people could see my thoughts.  I had a hat, even though it is pretty warm.  And I was scared of the people on the subway, they weren't safe people, I was worried they were demons.

 

Does anyone else kind of...watch themselves?  Talk to themselves and say, 'this isn't true, this isn't happening, there's no such thing as demons STOP THINKING THIS STOP STOP STOP STOP'

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