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Jealousy is fricken crippling me. Me and my beautiful girlfriend started our new semester at school and ever since it started I can't help but to feel jealous about every little thing. I'm talking infidelity jealous; not "I'm jealous you got that new pen and I didn't". My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and neither of us would ever cheat and it's not even just the cheating. The male professors, and any male she's around or brings up makes me infuriated. I know these feelings will pass again...as this isn't the first time it's happened. It's just making me act like an ass. It's distracting to the point where i'll go to this weird place in my head that is nothing but anger and disgusting thoughts! So... does anyone out there have any suggestions on how to control this symptom? Meds? Tips? Tricks? Does anyone else ever get this way? Cause this time I can't take it. :wall: 

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According to the DSM irritability is a symptom of mania and hypo-mania. Also, jealously occurs in depression when one believes he/she is not as good as others. Being medicated, it would be hard for one to tell the exact reasons for the feelings that they feel. I was posting for a discussion, not for someone to tell me I'm not displaying proper symptoms...but thanks for reading.

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Not all behaviour is explained away by a symptom.  Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.  And even if this IS a symptom of BP, talk about it in therapy - you don't need to medicate it.  I was giving you useful advice. 

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I'm not trying to offend anyone, it's just really bothering me. Regardless if it's a symptom or not. Didn't mean to piss you off. For a support forum, and my first post, I haven't found this site to be very supporting hahah  I also can't afford therapy...but thank you for your response so quickly

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Honestly, it's just that we can't explain away every character flaw as mental illness. 

 

Does your school offer free therapy for students?  Or discounted therapy?  That might help.

 

(And for the record, I have jealous tendencies...I recognize them as undesirable and work through them, but it's from my own insecurities, and I know I have no reason not to trust my partner 100%.  So I'm an asshole too.  It's what we do with our asshole-y tendencies that matters though, I think)

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I'm pretty sure that you can get therapy at your university. I haven't been to one yet that doesn't offer psychological counseling to students, and unfortunately, I've studied at more than my share. This is a problem that you want to address. Too much jealousy, possessiveness and/or controlling behavior can shatter a relationship.

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Or your psychiatrist if you can't afford a therapist.

I do think it's uncalled for to call someone an asshole, not for any assholish behavior, but because of extreme feelings and thoughts which are out of control. Maybe not a symptom of bipolar, but of a mental health issue which should be evaluated and treated.

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and it cannot be medicated away.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions. You may be right, but Obsessional or delusional jealousy are both treated with meds - and changes in Meds can affect anger and irritability. Which is why I'm saying this needs a psychiatric evaluation.

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Jealousy is fricken crippling me. Me and my beautiful girlfriend started our new semester at school and ever since it started I can't help but to feel jealous about every little thing. I'm talking infidelity jealous; not "I'm jealous you got that new pen and I didn't". My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and neither of us would ever cheat and it's not even just the cheating. The male professors, and any male she's around or brings up makes me infuriated. I know these feelings will pass again...as this isn't the first time it's happened. It's just making me act like an ass. It's distracting to the point where i'll go to this weird place in my head that is nothing but anger and disgusting thoughts! So... does anyone out there have any suggestions on how to control this symptom? Meds? Tips? Tricks? Does anyone else ever get this way? Cause this time I can't take it. :wall: 

I had some bouts of jealously in my late teens and early 20s. It was not even rational sometimes (e.g., jealous of people the other person had long since stopped seeing). It passed. Then again, I wasn't most virtuous person.... Your jealously seems to be a little on the paranoid side, though. Do you really think she's gonna diddle one of her profs? Or is it an Insecurity? Maybe you don't think you're good enough for her? I dunno, but I can tell you that all my jealously problems went bye bye as I exited my early 20s.

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Yeah, I think that was at the root of mine.

" jealously occurs in depression when one believes he/she is not as good as others."

 

I don't get jealous but I definitely can relate to feeling inferior to others. Its part of my depression. Maybe your feeling inferior and its causing jealousy?  

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It is a mistake to pathologize all behaviour and emotions simply because we are mentally ill.

The OP did not indicate any mood disturbance coincident with the jealousy; simply jealousy. People need to take responsibility for their own behaviour and not give themselves a pass by explaining away everything as due to illness.

Edited by jarn
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I deffinatly agree with not blaming all of your problems on a mental illness. Actually, I have made it a point in my life to never blame my mental illness and never think of myself as handicapped in the head;rather, I think of my messed up head as a challenge that life throws at you. On the subject of whether or not jealousy is a symptom, I would like to agree with both sides. Sure it's not specifically a symptom of BPD, and on the other side, delusional jealousy is very treatable with medications and could be a potential symptom of bipolar disorder.

 

BUT, I BETTER EXPLAIN MYSELF BETTER:

*Inmate also touched on this*

 

What I meant by jealousy as a symptom of bipolar -> We all have different PERSONALITIES that are stronger or weaker in specific areas (such as neuroticism). MOOD DISORDERS arel imbalances in the brain (or at least thought to be). SO when someone is flipping moods or in an episode it can bring out different areas of your personality and cause "secondary" symptoms (such as jealousy). The brain is so fricken complex and the DSM and psychology/psychiatry is changing all the time so I guess we'll see what the DSM 25th edition will have to say about this subject in the future haha

 

Anyways... I would love to talk to somebody but I don't feel quite comfortable speaking with someone at my university as the school is very small and everyone knows everyone. My girlfriend is not going to cheat on me. We have a great relationship and would never do anything to hurt each other like that on both sides. It actually feels good just to type that last sentence...I know these feelings will change in time and people like me afflicted with this condition (who have worked on helping their own mood stability) may know how this feels (to let things pass with time and not act too impulsively).

 

I really appreciate all of the responses so far as (like I said) this is my first time on a site like this! :lol:

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I don't disagree, if there is obsessional/delusional stuff going on. But it could also be possible that jealousy (a human emotion) is being exacerbated by a mood episode and stress of a new term and that by addressing the mood stuff and talking the issue out, the jealousy will return to a managable level or go away. I am not saying I don't think a psych eval is warranted, just that jealousy is an emotion and my personal belief is that emotions should not be medicated away through sedation. If the OP was convinced that his gf was indeed cheating, that would strike me as potentially delusional. If the OP had behaved in a violent or abusive way from paranoia, that too would be different. My interpretation of the OP's post is that what is essentially a normal situation (being back at school with a beautiful gf and seeing her popularity trigger insecurities) is becoming more intense because of bipolar episodes. So yes, treat the bipolar, but jealousy cannot really be eradicated long term with meds. It's an emotion. It can be rationalized through meds and therapy but I don't think it is healthy to approach human emotion in the same way we do wonky brain chemistry.

Jealousy is sort of like suspiciousness - it can be in the normal range, or a symptom, or a disorder in its own right. Most emotions are like that. I don't totally understand the dichotomy you're making between emotions and brain chemistry. I can't go there with you. And It seems a little idiosyncratic. Emotions are that which is not MI? "Normal" emotions, maybe, but not all emotions. Emotions which are extreme, consuming, intrusive, ego-dystonic, out of control and "crippling" as the OP describes, kind of strike me as symptoms. Neither of us know - that would be for a psych eval - and if it is a symptom, maybe the treatment is medication (which is just not equivalent to sedation) or maybe therapy is better.

I only entered this thread because I didn't like jarn's response to SS and also the thought of someone with morbid jealousy googling it and thinking jealousy has nothing to do with MI - which is just wrong - it absolutely can be, and it can be very nasty and sometimes dangerous. SS seems to have enough sense to know he needs help, which is good.

Edited by kateislate
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I get that you wanted to support the OP and that yes, if an emotional response has become so out of control and unmanageable then that OP needs help, I agree with you. But I also know that jealousy is not in and of itself a diagnostic symptom of any illness the OP has said that he has been diagnosed with.

I took a look at the report that you linked to and unless I am failing to understand it completely, it is talking about a kind of morbid jealousy that is quite extreme, linked to several psychopathies that the OP doesn't identify himself as having. In the report, morbid jealousy is a feature of a particular delusional disordered form of schizophrenia, a secondary or primary result of depression ( as in depression may kick off or follow a period of dleusional jealousy) or an organic brain injury. It doesn't mention it as a symptom of bipolar. The OP said he knew that his jealousy was irrational and it wasn't leading him to any actions that were detrimental (e.g harming himself or anyone else), not the stuff of delusions....

I am not invested either way, the OP can seek whatever treatment he likes. I don't judge him for being jealous. I have no idea what his illness is. However I interjected because I do think that it is important to help people consider the possibility that emotions and mood states are often different. The confusion around this often leads to people feeling unable to express their own (valid) emotions or seek help for troubling emotions (like grief) or even enjoy happiness, fearing it to be mania. And I do see people medicated for emotions that if they had the therapeutic skills to manage, they could successfully lead fulfilling lives. I have no issue with people making their own treatment decisions, but I do think it is worth reminding people that you can have bipolar AND have emotions that aren't linear, neat and easy to explain and contain; those emotions are not always symptoms in and of themselves. Perhaps this a cultural bias, I come from the UK where psych meds aren't advertised on TV and there are many DSMV disorders that aren't medicated here with quite so much haste. Maybe I am behind the times in that respect. But I see members here struggle to know if feeling happy on a good day is a pathological mania they lack total insight into, or if grief at bereavement is a huge depression looming. I get why that fear is there, no one wants to relapse. Emotional tumult can trigger an episode. But I personally think that people should be allowed an emotional response without having to double check it as a sign of sickness. If I'm labouring a point not relevant here, I'll give up.

I didn't intend to shame the OP or say that he shouldn't seek help. But you seem quite attached to this idea that jealousy is a symptom of certain mental ill health disorders and the evidence you have given points to fact that in most cases, these disorders are not that common, and are not bipolar ones either. If we disagree, then fine, I shall say no more.

I don't see how it matters whether this is a symptom of something he's already been diagnosed with or not. He obviously could have an undiagnosed problem.

And I think we read the article very differently - the point of which was that pathological jealousy is not uncommon and takes three forms - delusional (either schizophrenia or delusional disorder or depression), obsessive (related to OCD), or overvalued ideas.

I didn't come out and say it because I don't want to diagnose, but I thought SS's complaint fit the criteria for obsessive jealousy pretty darn well, and that's what he should be checked for.

As far as whether I'm wedded to that idea, I'm not. I think it's an entirely open question whether this is normal range or more serious. If it is more serious, I also think it's an open question what the right treatment would be. Those are questions for a psychiatrist. The point is I wanted to keep those questions wide open, because they were being dismissed out of hand. Wrongly.

I'm irritated though by your hinting that Americans are somehow brainwashed by advertisements to want to medicate everything. If anything, I think this forum is too pro-Meds, and often closed-minded about people who want to try going without.

I take your point about people pathologizing normal emotion, and maybe that's the case with the OP or maybe not. I lean towards not, given what he wrote. It doesn't sound very benign to me.

Edited by kateislate
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Many Americans are brainwashed into pursuing pharmacological remedies when they are not needed. That is why advertising medications is bullshit, and should be stopped yesterday.

 

In the entire conversation between you and ti, you were obviously furious she challenged your statement. You went out of your way to twist things she said, and then prove the things she didn't say wrong. That kind of reaction really undermines your own position, you should work on that. It made you sound petulant.

 

If you think the board is too pro-meds, I don't see anyone begging you to stay.

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