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Does anyone else get whiplash from their mood swings? 

 

For example, today I found myself trying to define alexithymia in regular conversation to talk about the range of emotional intensity people have.  And then half an hour later I was sobbing hysterically because my partner wasn't being intense enough.  And then half an hour later I was happy and silly.  And then half an hour later I was hysterical again.

 

Seriously--what the fuck!

 

Forget about my constant apologizing to my boyfriend--does being 'borderline' ever just fucking WEAR on anyone else?

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Forget about my constant apologizing to my boyfriend--does being 'borderline' ever just fucking WEAR on anyone else?

Yes, being borderline wears on my all the f'ing time! Up one minute, blood dripping the next, then dropping further down, then popping back up to somewhat happy, and so on. It is very tiring and whiplash is a great way to describe it, IMO.

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For me, it's typically just depression with short bursts of mania.  Not happiness... just energy and anxiety.

 

I suppose there used to be happiness, once upon a time, but I've been situationally stuffed down a hole.

 

My mood scale only goes between Severe Ideation and Numb, never into any 'good' areas.

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I'm all over the place most of the time. Exhausting is a good way to put it- never mind trying to figure out why, just surviving the sudden and constant changes in direction is enough to throw me off for a day or two. I never know what I'm actually feeling about something, because it'll switch and confuse me. Blah. 

 

'Whiplash'... I think I'll save that as a description for later.

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  • 3 weeks later...

One of the worst things is how I always have to apologize to people for the way I act when I'm upset.  It's like me being upset doesn't count because I didn't behave like everybody else.  If I hurt someone at all, I try to apologize, but I wish people would say "that must have been really hard on you too"."

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Hell yeah! Totally relate! I often find myself comforting people and reassuring them after I've had a breakdown too. Like I'm fine, then something sets me off and I'm hysterical, then they get upset because they don't know how to deal with me, so I see that and fear they are going to leave, so I pull it together somehow and comfort them and make sure they are okay and apologize, but I can't hold on to it long so then I break again and it starts over. Or I feel desparate for help so I cry to someone to help me but I'm too much for them with my hysterics and they pull away so then I act strong and say I'm fine and refuse to talk about my problems until they parctically beg me to tell them whats wrong and then I let open the flood gates and drown them again. I don't seem to have a gradual dial on my emotions, just too little or too much.

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One of the worst things is how I always have to apologize to people for the way I act when I'm upset. It's like me being upset doesn't count because I didn't behave like everybody else. If I hurt someone at all, I try to apologize, but I wish people would say "that must have been really hard on you too"."

Exactly. Most don't realize how comforting/validating it can be to simply acknowledge how someone else is feeling.. Whether they personally understand it or not.

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^^ Totally agree with above!! I can remember the first time someone did that for me. It blew my mind and made me cry and felt good and meant so much. Still any time someone does that for me it means the world to me. I never had that validation as a child so i never want to take it for granted.

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