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I'm Bipolar II; I'm worried about my meds. Advice?

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Hey, y'all! I've been mildly bipolar (type 2) my entire life which has led to unwanted consequences. :/ Let me share how I got into treatment.


At one time I was having really bad headaches; therefore, I went to my GP. For some reason, he gave me a referral to the pain management clinic. I thought it was a bit overboard, but I was like, "Whatever. Maybe I can score some good drugs."


At the pain clinic, I was given tramadol and gabapentin and some pity 7.5mg. hydrocodones. After a few months and a few visits (I only saw the doctor on the first visit), I saw the doctor for the second time. I was sorta having a bad day and he said he could tell it on my face. He asked me if I've ever considered psychiatric treatment. Normally, I would say, "No. I'm just fine." But, I thought, "Well, maybe I can score some good drugs." So, I said yes. 


The doctor gave me a referral to my current PDOC (an hour and a half away) who specializes in psychiatric treatment for those who have pain problems. He writes opiates and antidepressants. It was really hard to get an appointment. I had to get some tests done and faxed over and a letter written by the pain management doctor as well. I also had to fill out an a long ass application and pay a $50 "application fee". It took a month and a half before I was able to get an appointment.


 My PDOC doesn't take insurance.  :wall:  I didn't even get to see him on the first visit! I just filled out a bunch of paperwork and I had to describe my level of pain. I put 8, I really wanted some better opiates. This was the "Initial Consultation" and I was charged $250. I had to do one more thing before I can see the PDOC-- a psychological evaluation by the RN. You can do it on the same day or a different day. It takes a long time. I went ahead and did it. It cost $300.


The only "true" symptom I have is Bipolar II. I wanted some good drugs; therefore, I faked narcolepsy (for amphetamines), social phobia (for benzos), and exaggerated my pain for better opiates. 


The "initiation session" with the PDOC was one hour. He is the BEST DOCTOR and MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE man I have EVER met. We got along great and I wish it was more than one hour. It cost $260 tho.


$860 out of my pocket, we start doing the monthly sessions ($126).


Over a period of 21 months, I am now prescribed this:


"PAIN" 307.80:
#30 Avinza (morphine sulfate) 30mg. 
#90 Roxicodone (oxycodone) 5mg.
#30 Pamelor (nortriptyline) 75mg.
#90 Neurontin (gabapentin) 900mg.
"NARCOLEPSY" 347.00:
#90 Desoxyn (methamphetamine hydrochloride) 5mg.
#30 Nuvigil (armodafinil) 250mg.
#30 Aplenzin (bupropion hydrobromide) 522mg.
#60 Lyrica (pregabalin) 150mg.
#60 Xanax XR (alprazolam) 1mg.
Bipolar II 296.89 (depressed):
#30 Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) 100mg.
#30 Latuda (lurasidone) 80mg.
#90 Oxtellar XR (oxcarbazepine) 600mg.
#60 Topamax (topiramate) 200mg.
Misc (cognitive improvement) 294.9:
#30 Namenda XR (memantine) 21mg.


It costs me ~$380 to fill the scripts (thank God for insurance!) and $126 for the visit; I'm paying $506 a month to be feeling like this. Not too big of a deal, really. 


I had to fill out a drug abuse assessment where I circled "no" on every question. Why would I circle yes to possible drug abuse? 


I am the BEST, MOST STABLE, HAPPIEST I'VE EVER BEEN condition in my entire life. 


The opiates? Well, I'll eat them all on the weekends. ummm yeah, I know it's bad.

The PDOC said he liked the nortriptyline with the desvenlafaxine for both depression and my "pain". Good idea.


He said that he never prescribes Desoxyn to ADHD patients. He says he only uses it for narcoleptic, he believes in it for them. Nuvigil also serves that purpose. 


The gabapentinoids (pregabalin and gabapentin) make me really happy! Eurphoriants for me. Easily the best mood booster. He went ahead and maxed me out on the gabapentin, but he wants to leave a little wiggle room on the Lyrica. 


I told him I had social phobia and anxiety. It was a lie. I was trying to get benzos. It worked. He gave me Xanax XR to take in the morning when I'm going to school and such and then another for when it wears off or if I needed it to smooth out the Desoxyn comedown he said. 


Now let's get down to the real treatment for my disorder!


Yeah, as I said-- the Pristiq and nortrip definitely did something positive for me.


The Lyrica and gabapentin are great mood stabilizers. So is the Oxtellar and the Topamax (helps me lose weight since a lot of these meds can put on the pounds-- primary purpose I'm on it). 


The BEST drug that changed my life is the Latuda (lurasidone). It has made me calm, focused, and more connected with my family. He did a great job choosing this medication for me. The Aplenzin (Wellbutrin basically) also really did a good job at getting me more motivated.


I'm the best I've ever been, but I'm worried that maybe I'm taking too many meds? Can I keep this up? What do you think I should do with the meds? I'm just thinking that their some sort of bad interaction maybe or something? Just give me your thoughts.




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Uhm. Okay. So you basically lied your way into treatment, malingered in order to obtain numerous prescriptions for numerous controlled substances (including meth), and are currently flooding your brain with these medications for disorders you in no way have? 


This will catch up with you in one way or another. Do what you want, I'm just saying. This will not end well for you.

Edited by hagar running
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You must be a very good liar. I think you should fabricate a story where you "recover" from these illnesses you don't have and no longer need the meds. Maybe just get a new pdoc and start fresh with just your real history and symptoms. If you get caught doing all this to get these drugs, you may have great difficulty ever accessing them again should you need to. You may be in real severe chronic pain one day. Who will believe you then?

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Sheesh. It's people like you that make it harder for people to get meds when they need them.

You're taking up several doc's time and other patients resources.


Don't be proud you're abusing substances, lying and being an asshole.


And I'll agree with everything everyone above me (except you) have said. Listen to sylvan, especially, because she KNOWS her shit.


If you wanted support for that behaviour, you found the wrong place.

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I just want to echo what has been said. You yourself know that you are on way too many meds to treat conditions you don't even have. Many of the meds you are on are addicting and some can be fatal in overdose. As Hagar has said: this will not end well for you.


People like you make it extremely hard for those of us who require controlled substances just to function to get the meds we require. Moreover, as Sylvan said, sometime you may need those meds. What will you do when your built-up tolerance keeps the meds from working? What will you do if any other doctors find out about your abuse of the meds and the system?

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Just ignore the Avinza and Roxicodone. Everything else I take as prescribed. Even the Desoxyn and Xanax XR.  I wish y'all would just ignore the weekend binge part and focus on the psychiatric part.


All of these drugs are written by my PDOC. I think it's a good deal. I used to occasionally dabble with opiates here and there and now I don't have to deal with it illegally. I feel like the Desoxyn helps me with my day to day tasks and the Xanax XR does make me sociable and calm. 


The rest of the drugs are legit. 


Sorry for partying. 

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Just ignore the morphine and opiate binges? Sure.


You may take the rest "as prescribed." But they are prescribed for disorders you DO NOT have. Therefore, that is bullshit.


What you're doing is illegal. A doctor is prescribing them to you, yes- a doctor you have manipulated and lied out your ass to. You're defrauding your insurance company and the medical system.


I'm sure these things do help you - if I was cranked up on speed I would probably get shit done too. If I were xaned out, I would probably be pretty calm too.


Nothing you're doing is legit. I don't give a fuck if you do it, just don't kid yourself.

Edited by hagar running
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