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Hi...I'm a 32 yr old female, with past diagnosis and treatment of anxiety/panic attacks and depression. Apologies in advance for the length of this post - I'm a writer, and I tend to be wordy. I had written out my "back story" and realized it was pretty much a novel, so I cut out a lot of specifics and got it to this:  I went through a variety of anti-depressants and other meds in the past but am currently not taking anything. My experiences with mental health treatment years ago were, for the most part, less than helpful (the results ranged from "good enough to get by" to "it's making me more tense and I can probably hack it better on my own"). I think I got pretty unlucky in the professionals I worked with, and ended up feeling like they were a waste of time/money. I should have kept looking for someone new, but I was too self-conscious to start doctor-shopping again and did my best to just brush my problems under the rug. I also had a lot going on in my life and for a while I was so overwhelmed I really couldn't handle any more emotional drama so I kind of "shut down" instead. Now I'm struggling with a resurgence of depression and, to some extent, the anxiety, but am having a hard time making the next step and trying to find some treatment. I guess I'm not exactly sure where to go next.


I don't quite know which board to post on here either - as I said, I've got a history of anxiety, panic, and depression. But in the past year my son was diagnosed with ADHD and in the course of researching it to learn more, I have started to wonder if I might also have ADHD (primarily inattentive, if I had to guess), or possibly OCD. I have a whole host of signs that I could see fitting either diagnosis, but on the other hand I could just be depressed/anxious and unable to find any motivation or ability to complete tasks. The tendency toward depression and anxiety are pretty obvious as it stands. But I can't help but feel like maybe there's something else "wrong" and I'm not sure how to start that journey.


I'm not trying to self diagnose, and am not asking anyone here to do that either. But I've had a frustrating experience so far with mental health treatment, and find it incredibly difficult (if not downright impossible) to even make that first call to a doc, let alone open up. I don't even know where to start - how do I find a good doc that I can trust to talk to? Do I choose a psychiatrist, a psychologist, some other counselor? I feel like I need to work on things and learn to talk things out and come up with a strategy to start feeling better, but I also wonder if there might be something that might be actually "diagnosable" lurking, in which case wouldn't a doc who can diagnose (and possibly prescribe, if needed) be better?


I just don't know...and I can't really afford multiple providers at this point. My financial situation sucks (I make a decent amount of money so I don't qualify for any assistance but I am still trying to dig myself out of a major debt hole, and my high deductible health insurance plan means I pay out of pocket for most expenses). And once I finally find a doc, how do I start the conversation? Do I just run down the list of symptoms that signal, to me anyway, that shit's not right? God, just thinking about it has me feeling tense.


So - why am I here? Maybe I just needed to rant, maybe I'm hoping someone can give me a little "push" to encourage me to take steps forward, or maybe I'm hoping someone can point me in the right direction and help me figure out where to go first. Or maybe I'm just hoping someone else can tell me that they felt this lost once, too, and that it can get better if I get my ass in gear and finally DO something. I'm tired of feeling like a failure, I'm lonely, and even though I have people who genuinely care about me they just don't get it so I've stopped talking to them about it. I'd like to find a place where I'm allowed to feel this way while I work through it, instead of being told that "everyone has days where they feel down," because I'm not talking about a rough day, I'm talking about a year (or 10), and the people in my life just don't understand what that's like.


I'm sorry this was so long and whiny. It was still shorter than the original one! If anyone has any helpful suggestions, I'd love to hear what you have to say.




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Hi and welcome :)

I am where you are.  I TOTALLY get that the people around you don't understand or don't allow you to work through your feelings of highs and lows.

I don't have much advice, but I do have a good listening ear and am wonderful at commisseration.


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meow, welcome to Crazyboards.  I have a feeling you might have a cat or two around your house.  heh


When you post on the boards, we mostly want you to put your question in the appropriate forum.  If you want to ask about ADHD, go to that one.  If you are wrestling with questions about your doctors, I would go to the "Health Care System Sucks."


In terms of what you say to the doctor----it's really on the doctor's shoulders to find out what your issues are.  He or she is supposed to ask you questions about how you feel, how's your energy level, do you sleep well, etc.  If you can ever afford it, and can drop the incompetent person you've been seeing, your first stop should be a psychiatrist.  He or she will evaluate you, prescribe meds, and they sometimes have the names of local therapists. 


To choose a therapist, I would go with what the pdoc suggests, or recommendations from your GP.


Please read the rules when you have time---they are in the lower right-hand corner of this page.  Don't be afraid to contact a mod if you have questions.





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