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Hello, I don't know if this is the right place to put this topic, but hopefully someone can inform me.

Here's a quick overview of me, and then ill get to my point. Please be patient.

So I don't know when it started, but years ago now, I started feeling bad. Really bad. I was quite young, about 13 or 14 so "bad" is the only descriptive word I can remember. Anyway, about a year after that I started acting out, in a damaging way, and then starting self harming. Around 16 I badly attempted to "end it all", but when that failed my depression, (which was by then diagnosed) got worse. The si and destructive behaviour continued, and when I was almost 18 I attempted it again. This landed me in hospital for 2 days and almost got me sectioned. This is also when my meds were temporarily stopped, as that's what I couldn't be trusted with after this incident!

Anyway, since then, my life has not been as bad as it was, but recently it has got worse.

What the point of me confessing this to you is because my mind has turned into 18 year old me again. I suddenly find myself wanting to si, a lot and once again wanting to do something bad enough to get me sectioned. I just don't feel safe enough to be living and working like normal.

I don't know what I should do, as at 19 my therapist basically told me to stop being stupid and stopped my therapy and meds.

So what can I do to protect myself and also the people who care about me. I can't go back to my old therapist, and I don't know where to turn, without doing something bad enough to make these people come to me instead of me to them.

I just don't trust myself anymore.

Is this want to basically put my life on hold and get locked up after a few years of rejecting help normal? I'm sorry this is so long, and I do hope its in the right place to post.

Thanks, Matt

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I don't know what I should do, as at 19 my therapist basically told me to stop being stupid and stopped my therapy and meds.

 

First thought after reading this is that your therapist shouldn't have stopped your meds without consulting with your pdoc (the one who should be making the med decisions because the tdocs are certified to make the medication decisions.  They can suggest different ones or whatever, but the pdoc should have the final say whether you go off meds or not.

 

My advice is to find another therapist who will listen, and a pdoc who can help you with medication/s.

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