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Pissed off with being judged


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I just need to vent...

 

My day started off okay, I managed to get to work on time! Yay! But I get so pissed off with being judged every single day.

 

No, I don't have children, it was a choice I made because of how bad my mood swings were when I was younger.  College has always been hard.  I managed on the 3rd attempt to get an Associates degree.

 

I totally blew an interview last Tuesday for a job I really wanted.  There was an interview panel of 5 (which I could deal with, kind of) but then they interviewed the 5 of us at the same fucking time!  I have never heard of this before and I was totally freaked out.  Needless to say, I was like fucking Rain Man - my stutter decided to make an appearance and I just felt like a fucking moron.

 

I hate feeling like this... I work so hard to try and accept who I am and deal with my stuff.  I have major depression with ADD and I'm on Autism Spectrum.  I didn't speak for the first five years of my life; not even to my family.  I have the hardest time striking up conversation, and small talk, well, you may as well be speaking Cantonese as far as I'm concerned.  Once I get passed the obligatory "How was your evening/weekend" etc., I'm lost.  I'm not stupid, or retarded (my last boss called me a "tard" in front of the office.)  I go into a panic when I have to deal with a whole bunch of people.  I just wish I didn't feel like this.  :wall: 

 

Sorry if language offends...

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Welcome! I would be so freaked out with that kind of an interview I probably wouldn't have been able to say a word. I think you should feel good about having gotten through it - it sounds very intimidating.

But it also sounds like you may also have some social anxiety? On top of your other issues? Do you have a therapist or pdoc to talk with about these issues?

There are a lot of jerks in the world (sounds like your last boss was one). One of my big goals in life is, as much as possible, getting away from people like that - that's really the best you can try for.

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Sorry to hear about the interview--the format sounds like a form of torture!  Very few people would do well in an interview environment like that.  If that is representative of their culture and a usual example of how the company runs things, perhaps they wouldn't have been a good fit for you in the long run?  The least they could have done was prepared you for a panel AND group interview in advance.  Just a thought.

 

I'm pretty new and have found a lot of support in CB-land--I hope you have a good experience here, also.  Welcome!

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Hello!

 

I can "do" that sort of situation, but find it utterly exhausting.

I was diagnosed with a solid case of Asperger's syndrome rather late, at the age of 48

I'd never want a job where anything approaching the nature of the interview was part of the regular work.

(In which case "the interview" may be a poor indicator of who would be suitable for that sort of job!)

 

Welcome to Crazyboards.

You are not alone: we have several of every type of crazy, here.

Including a good supply of those crazy because they are too sane to fit into this crazy world.

 

Chris.

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Hi folks 

 

Just dropped by real quick to see if anyone replied. 

 

THANK YOU! You have no idea how much it means to have some contact with people who understand.

 

Pushed for time this morning, but will be back on later.

 

Take care :)

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That sounds like the interview from hell!  And I can't believe your former boss called you that...there is no excuse for that.

 

I just wanted to make sure that you read the User Agreement.  It just keeps us all on the same page.

 

I think you'll enjoy Crazyboards.  Its a very supportive and informative community.

 

See you on the Boards!

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Welcome, stranger.  You have stumbled into a tribe of kinsmen.  I hope you like hanging out here and I think your former boss ought to be reported for calling you that name.

 

olga

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I feel you! What's sad is I feel like I can't be myself!!! I don't know if this happens to you but when people want to get to you than all the bad things you've done get thrown in your face.

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