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Can you guys help me reality check?


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I just need someone's objective opinion on this.

I just got home from work and my wife's car was gone, I went inside and found that she was not home. I texted her asking her if she had an appointment that I had forgotten about and no response. I texted her again asking her another question and still no response.

I'm really REALLY worried now that she's gone off and is now working for the people who've been following me around and planning to kill me. I'm not sure if that makes any sense in reality or not, I feel like if she's abandoned me and is working for them then what's the point in going on anymore? I've been betrayed by the one person I could trust and now I'm hopelessly lost and see no point in life anymore if that's the case.

 

What do I do??

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do you have reason to suspect...has she EVER betrayed you in the past?

if not, and if this would be in line with things you tend to think when more symptomatic...

 

i would suggest (when she gets home) letting her know that you're feeling concerned,

and try to remember the reasons you trust her....trusted her enough to marry her...and (as i do suspect she will),

when she reassures you she's not in league against you, try to keep hold of that trust 

 

regardless, i think you don't have enough information from the sound of it to pack it in just yet...

as you're asking for a reality check and maybe if you have a "breakthrough symptom" plan...a prn of some sort...

now might be time to take whatever additional to allow you some time to sort your head and think this through with her once she gets home.

 

also, one last thought: IF she has an appointment...that might preclude her texting a response. but maybe busy yourself...distraction, if i'm distractible, is usually a benefit to me in similar sounding situations.

 

best to you x

Edited by mellifluous
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From my perspective reading your post... I do NOT think that your wife is working for anyone against you.

 

Take a deep breath and think it through. If she was working against you, then why stay married to you? Why live with you?

 

Its easy enough to bug a place if you want to get info on someone.

 

And who would live with someone and spy on them?? I couldn't be bothered and it would be a HUGE waste of time to be honest.....

 

Be cool sir. All is well...... you are not thinking right.

 

You are welcome  :)

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Thank you both for your quick replies. I guess I'm not based in reality right now if you're both right.

My mind is trying to tell me that you're both in on it but I'm trying not to listen...

 

I had a bunch of ramblings here but I think it'd be best if I didn't post those...

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i'm defo not in on it, man

but i understand, my head sees any rejection of hypothesis as "against me"

or out to discredit me

 

i've ranted and i'l likely rant again

and if it makes you feel better i say go for it

or blog on it as more private?

 

i don't know...better out than in for me at least

but then i also understand fearing being read seen heard

 

has your wife returned?

i don't know what time you have there (i'm pacific standard) 

but i hope she's back soon and that you're feeling better soon x

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My wife got home a little after two hours after I posted this thread but I don't really want to get into that.

 

There are people planning on killing me, I'm a failed experiment and I need to be disposed of. The people who are after me are a group of scientists who experimented on me as a child which is why I can see and hear things other people can't ever since then, they installed a transmitter in my brain that allows them to communicate with me via audible thoughts and images. But now I've outlived my use and have become a threat to them because I know about them so they need to get rid of me.

They've bugged my home so they can monitor me in the meantime. 

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i absolutely know i'm also an experiment but seems of a slightly different sort

 

i totally hear you on the neurotechnological devices that result in hearing and seeing things that aren't supposed to be seen and aren't actually seen by others as well

i just would pre emptively caution against attempting to remove on own as they've encased mine in some sort of deception substance that ...i think they've hooked it up so as to be connected to blood vessels and then it gets me into trouble and hospitalized where they can make adjustments on me behind closed doors.

 

my jury is out on what role medication plays but i do think it's possible that in the past mine has protected me from certain things and perhaps yours could as well? i don't know but i'm fortunate to have my psychiatrist either be as clueless as i am about what's going on and so an ally of sorts in trying to help block their frequencies--if you can block a mobile signal in your home then they can't monitor you...there are ways to do that...perhaps better gone into elsewhere... but anyway, he's either an ally as sincere in attempting to block them for me and just also being used in their schemes as taken advantage of because he just thinks i'm a normal ill person and doesn't really understand that there are normal schizophrenics and then there are people who are made to appear such but due to implants and shite....so..i would say maybe your psychiatrist is a similar ally despite him appearing to be more knowingly involved, you know? i thought mine was, as well, but then i looked straight into and through him once and saw sincerity.

 

unsure, but du courage in sorting things x

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I don't know what to do. I can't think right anymore, all I'm hearing is screaming since I got home from work and apparently nobody else can hear it, I'm seeing floating words that my wife refuses to read because she says they're not there and they look like just gibberish to me. I figured out where the antenna for the transmitter is and I desperately want to dig it out but I would need to be alone to do that, I can feel it under my skin in my arm.

I'm not worried about my wife anymore, I think she was brainwashed yesterday but she seems to have overpowered it and is back to normal which I'm super happy about. I just want this all to stop! I'd do anything, I know that if I can dig out the antenna the screaming will at least stop but then I need to figure out a way to get these people to stop following me and planning my death. I don't know how I'm going to do that, maybe after I remove the antenna if I skip town they won't be able to find me again? I don't know if I could do that though, my wife would never agree to it because she doesn't believe that this is all real. I want to tell my pdoc about this because she always listens to me and has good ideas, but not my psych nurse so I'm glad she's on vacation right now, she always says things like "You're just delusional" which makes me angry. I just want everything to shut up right now so I can think, it's taken me an hour just to type this! ARG

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I'm going to try to get it out if I ever get left alone which I can't see happening any time soon. I really want it out so that this can be over. The screaming won't stop and it's giving me a splitting headache but I've been putting on my happy I'm fine face for my wife so she doesn't worry about me.

I don't see my pdoc until Thursday...I wish it were sooner

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can you get an earlier appointment?

 

that's quite a stretch. i really would encourage you to let yourself be around others so's not to be alone to try and dig it out

i hear you though and i can sympathize with just wanting the shit out of you. the thing is, i've seen you at times on here say you don't want to end up hospitalized...or maybe you said that to me once in chat.

 

my point is simply this, and i apologize for my shoddy memory on when you might've said you want to avoid hospitalization: if you try to remove it yourself, it's almost a sure ticket to hospitalization. because once you're in there...it's SOOO hard to not keep digging. if you're anything like me. maybe you have much more self control but if i don't find what i'm looking for immediately, then i get frantic and it's drill baby drill, metaphorically speaking. sorta metaphorically as i've never used an actual drill.

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My wife is threatening to take me to the hospital if I don't start taking my meds again anyways but I'm 100% positive they've been tampered with and are more than likely poison so I REALLY don't want to.

So I might end up in there anyways at this rate.

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I know someone was messing with them though, they're all moved around and there's little silver things in the bottles with the meds so I'm way to freaked out to take them. Maybe if I had new meds and I never let them out of my sight and I watched them prepare them I'd be willing to take them but I doubt any pharmacy would entertain that idea nor do I have the money or scripts to get new meds...

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Maybe, with the help of your wife, you could move your meds into a container where it would be hidden from someone who would try to tamper with them.  That way you can feel more confident they haven't been messed with.  

 

I don't think they've been tampered with, though.  

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Also, I wanted to say I've had the same paranoia of having something being implanted in my brain, or being tested on.  But I personally have come to the conclusion that these were thoughts were most likely delusions.  

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I used to think there were drugs laced in my prescription bottles (and food), and was really worried about it.  Taking the meds though anyway helped calm those fears.  And if they were tampered with the pharmacy would be the ones to blame, and I'd have a talk with them.  There job would be on the line so I highly doubt they'd lie about anything if asked.

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