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Dreaming you're awake.


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I keep waking up, thinking I'm awake. And the things happen that I don't like. People try to hurt me, or I hear horrible noises that I can't even think about right now because I really don't like them.

 

Only I'm still asleep. But I always wake up like I do when I genuinely wake up. Starting to wonder if I'm actually awake or if its another horrible awake dream thing.

 

Sometimes it feels like a whole day has passed and then I get in bed to sleep and there's someone in my bed, a creepy horrible thing in a cloak. And then I wake up.

 

I'm exhausted. I'm worried about sleeping, and the dreams are so real. I am drained.

 

I'm sat here and I can hear a noise, like a squeaking/scream. I don;t like it. I don't know if its someone in the woods outside, or if I'm awake dreaming again and I'm going to wake up. I'm scared to turn off my laptop and sleep. Am I even awake? 

 

Sitting here and pinching myself isn't helping, no is hitting my legs. Sometimes I can wake myself up with a near miss, like walking into something or pain. 

 

I don't even know how many days I'm living and how many I'm dreaming. 

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Maybe? I've just done a quick google on sleep paralysis but I can't relate to all of it. 

 

I have mentioned it to my doc and he thought that over the counter sleeping aids might help. They tend to happen when my husband is working nights, but occasionally they do happen when he's in bed too... so I can't even link that. I'm not sleep walking, although I stayed at my mums a week or so ago and she had to wake me up because I was yelling in my sleep. 

 

I've been trying the Kalms because the Nytrol weren't to my liking. I've never really had a problem getting to sleep initially, but I struggle to stay asleep. They're not curing it, just making it easier to sleep. I don't seem to be so worried about sleeping but in all honesty it was only taking me an hour max to drop off anyway, its the hourly waking up that's driving me nuts. So I don't feel like I need to take them. Currently I'm trying lavender oil, but again apart from relaxing, its not helping the dreams stop.

 

I'm not taking anything medication wise apart from my contraceptive pill and the Kalms (if you can call it meds)... so unless its a side effect of Cilest? Who knows. :'(

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its the hourly waking up that's driving me nuts

 

This happens to me every night and I hate it.  Have you had a sleep study?  That didn't help me, but it might help you.

 

What I do to compensate for waking up all the time is sleeping/taking naps as frequently as I can during the day.  That is the only way I get enough sleep in a 24 hour period.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, keeps me asleep for more than 1-2 hours max (unless I hit the lottery and sleep 3-4 hours in a row one night), so I don't have much advice on how to stay asleep.  Just know you aren't alone.

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It's nice to know I'm not alone, sometimes I can sleep for a solid 6 hours and then I get it into my head I'm fine. I hate sleeping during the day, so I only do it if I'm falling asleep standing up. I really struggle to sleep knowing its light out, and that people are 'living'. It's like being ill at night and knowing that the whole country is sleeping. I must have some inbuilt aversion to feeling 'left out'. I hate it, and I'd rather walk around the house half asleep than go to bed and think I'll miss something, even though I know I wont. And then I'm more tired. I'm really screwed if I work, I couldn't nap then even if I wanted to :'(

 

Also when it's that time of the month not only do I wake up hourly, I itch so bad I can scratch my legs to pieces I even do it whilst I'm asleep, palpitations (although my iron levels drop really low and then pick up again a couple of days later so I guess that's why) they're so bad I just lie awake, and then there's the pain. 

 

I'm dreading it this month, I'm just so tired. 

 

I do wonder if (relating to another thread about healthy weight loss) if it's causing my metabolism/food to just either not digest properly, or hang on to everything it can reluctant to burn energy. Definitely need another doctors visit, where I can collapse in his office and sleep to prove a point.

Edited by Elsa
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