iamjustme Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 i'm sorry to be posting again, i just feel i'm sinking. i don't quite know what to do. the seroquel dose lowered just seems like 'what if it isn't working for me at all.' i should be taking 100mg now which is down a lot, but i skipped last night. i know i don't want to feel manic, but i am so far into depression i barely remember what that feels like anymore. i know it could sound stupid, but i'm just barely dragging along and i want to just stop taking my seroquel. maybe i should call the doctor. ? i just got the adjustment with an increase in abilify 5 days ago. i guess i should hang on, but this is pretty bad. it's really hard to function. i've been here and survived, but this is just too long. it's been about a year and 6 months or more. i think it was onset by an 8 yr relationship ending with someone who was truly a psychopath. before that i'd had difficulty with mania, during the relationship. i'm having trouble placing things, when things happened. i can't really remember much. i'm really in a fog. i know we're not supposed to do anything without the pdoc. i should probably just keep taking the seroquel, but i want to feel better ! right now i barely feel like living, i could be having suicidal ideation a bit... i'm just flopping around in my pajamas wishing i could sleep forever. i don't know how long it's been since i've showered. today i will try to shower and pick up my room a bit. i had one day where i painted. maybe i will try that again. it's hard not to be overly critical, defeatist. i have 0 energy. sorry again, for posting another time, and the length. feeling kind of lonely in the world except for this website. i guess i'm just ranting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamjustme Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 i ate 1/2 a pound of chocolate the other day, that didn't seem to help. (...obviously.) getting to where self care and even making food is a real chore. i want to isolate to the point that i don't want to even be around the house where my mom is, but when she leaves i have no energy to make any food or do anything either. i guess i'll just hold on. probably *keep* taking seroquel... i feel like i'm complaining a lot. just tired of feeling this way and don't understand why i got this bad again. had been feeling a little better, kind of. sorry for the ramble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Specifically to keep from falling into deep depressions and becoming suicidal, I take Tegretol (carbamazepine) and Lamictal (lamotrigine). I'm not saying that it would work for you, but it helps me a lot. Perhaps, it is worth talking to your doctor about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykatnes Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I know you don't feel like living... but trying is what will make you feel better. Try painting again. Try to just focus on creating something and don't think about the depression or anything else going on with your life. You will be proud of yourself for doing something. Or, try this It's a yoga sequence specifically for depression. It has helped me. You may feel kind of silly doing it if you've never done yoga before but I promise it doesn't matter what you look like. It's all about feeling better and moving your body a bit to wake up. I was on seroquel a couple of years ago and all it did was make me sleepy. You just have to try to fight it the best way you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamjustme Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 thanks. thanks for the med tips. i know i have to try, it's just really Really hard right now. i guess i should talk to my doctor again soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burial Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 i've been suffering with almost exact same symptoms as you are, want nothing, do nothing, why even i'm here type of emotions. One thing i noticed, is that when i up my dose of zyprexa, i would get a huge boost in mood without any additional sedation. Why are you on seroquel? Isn't xanax enough to put you to sleep? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamjustme Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 yeah, i'm thinking no on the seroquel. i had to have it about a year or so ago because my mania was out of control due to that abusive relationship. thank you for your input- i think i'm going to try and get off the seroquel. i've been thinking about latuda and lamictal, i forgot if there was a few more i was curious about. maybe i don't need the seroquel at all, just as a prn ? definitely going to give this abilify increase time, and i may try to go without the seroquel if possible. didn't need it at all last night. weird to go from over a year ago being really frantic and manic to down in the dumps. i hope you feel better soon too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderful.Cheese Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I feel ya. I really do. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have a love and hate relationship with seroquel. With it I function better and have less voices and less anxiety, without it I have more panic attacks and don't do as well and freak out. And without it I don't sleep. But I gain weight and am tired in the day from it. I hope you have more success with abilify. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamjustme Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 thank you. <3 i'm sorry you struggle with it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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