iii Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) Hey. Few months ago I was in a very poor mental state and hospitalised for 5 weeks, I was then diagnosed bipolar II. Did not expect it, I guess I'm still digesting the fact that I am ill. They put me on Olanzapine, Sodium Valproate and Venlafaxin, I remember one day I just woke up and felt -normal-. It was an amazing feeling, my head was clear. But for the next weeks I was sleeping ridiculous amount of hours, about 15 hours a day, I couldn't function and put on weight quite a lot. Olanzapine has been replaced with Quetiapine, I am on it since 5 weeks now. I don't feel great. Rather down, rather senselessly. My doctor says to give it some more weeks. My life has changed tremendously. For the last few years I was working as an artist, traveling a lot, meeting people, feeling alive. But that extensive traveling has been strictly linked to my manic episodes. Just before I was diagnosed I was feeling really exhausted. I live now in one place so that I can have my regular checks with the psychiatrist, plus I am about to start the weekly psychotherapy provided by the health service. I live the routine of ordinary life, back to full time university, which I was supposed to finish during the years of my travels. I feel nothing. It's hard to explain the others what you going through, how it affects relationships with people you care about, how you miss yourself, how you actually don't know what is -you- anymore, how the medicine flattens you, plus all the side effects you have to deal with. I don't feel like anyone gets that, and I mean, that's understandable since I haven't met any bipolar person. I'm glad this forum exists, it would feel great to talk to someone who understands it. It really does get lonely sometimes. Edited March 9, 2014 by iii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Welcome to Crazyboards. I think being diagnosed is a bit of a shock for a lot of our members. It will take a while for you to process the whole thing, I imagine. Anyway, this is a good place for you to be while you go through this new phase in your life. I ask all new members to read the rules---you can find them at the bottom of the page, on the right. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand something. I'm glad you found us! olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hello and Welcome to Crazyboards! Getting a diagnosis of BPII isn't easy. I know its hard to accept that you have an illness. I hope you find a good med combo soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iii Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Feels good to find you, thank you for a warm welcome : ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwishididnthaveanhedonia Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 i dont know what its like to have bipolar, but like you right before being hospitalized i also felt very much alive and now that im on my meds for the psychotic episode, life is extremely dull and i dont think its really worth living. so i understand how you are feeling, and it sucks so bad. hopefully this will pass for both of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutegiantsquid Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I get what you mean, that it's hard to talk about with people who don't get it, and you miss who you were. Even if you don't really know who you were, or if it was real. My moods stopped flattening out so much after the last few months, but I never know if I'm having fun because I'm manic, or if I'm just having fun like a normal person. I think it's great you're going back to university full time! I've dropped out of three colleges and got dismissed by the fourth because I just couldn't handle it. I hope you do really well and kick some ass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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