I was relying on my landlord letting me have a pet. I knew having a pet would motivate me to get up. To go out to buy supplies for them. To have something which *needs* *me* to nurture and care and socialize with them. To have a responsibility to make me think twice before doing something.
But they said no. I can't find anywhere else to live that allows pets that I can afford. I don't know what to do. I can't really get out of my contract. When I had pets they were my life, they cheered me up when I was down. I live alone now. I feel like I'm going to be lonely until I can get a job (never?) and afford somewhere that will allow me to have a pet. I've been desperately trying to see people every day so the loneliness doesn't get to me. Everyone seems tired of me because I talk to them every single day and ask if they want to meet up.
I can't help feel that I am going to start going downhill again because I have no reasons left to bother getting better. I have no partner anymore. I have no pets. I live alone now. I have no one for company but myself.
I can care for others but not for myself.
This is Buttons, our cat. He is the dearest thing. We don't know how he got cropped ears, nor that scar on his cheek that makes his tongue stick out sometimes (see pic in grass.)
He didn't get fat until after he was neutered. He came to us normal weight; but I guess the neutering gave him a hyper-appetite. Even so, he is still very quick on his feet and his swing (claws out) is terrible fast.
We didn't plan on adopting a cat, but this one was wandering up and down our street for days, looking for a new home, I presume. As soon as we took him, he knew and stopped all that walking. He still goes next door to eat the neighbor's cat food, but that's only fair since a zillion cats come to our porch to eat Buttons'. Buttons doesn't fight them, which is great.
He has the heart of a lion. Nothing phases him. Dogs come, he get up on the porch railing and just watches them. Rain, he might get a little wet.
He always walks up to the car to greet us when we get home. Unfortunately he gets underfoot quite a bit, and we are always tripping over him. It's like he doesn't realize we can't see him down there.
He does get hairballs--who wouldn't?--but the OTC tube stuff clears that right up. I don't know why I waiting so long to buy some.
He wants very badly to be friends with the two large dogs in back, Biscuit and Lickey; but they will have none of it. One time Buttons went to sit by Lickey, trying to make friends, and Lickey got up and went to lie in the yard. It was so funny. Still, they don't fight; and they had no trouble whatsoever when we were all in the house together for the hurricane, Ike.
Well, this is a lot of writing for one time. And, for some reason, I'm feeling somewhat tired, although I'm usually good until afternoon.
I'm not having any trouble whatsoever catching up on my intern hours. I am so fortunate to like it so much. Peace.