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The Gates of Hell

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I was diagnosed with depression in 2001 and spent about a month in the hospital getting better. I didn't know it at the time but this was the start of a 13 year roller coaster ride. In addition to depression, alcohol and anger issues seem to control my life. I stopped taking my meds in 2002 and did not start again until 2006. Extreme anger constant drunkenness followed by periods of depression ruled my life.


In 2012 I decided to stop taking my anti-depressant and in early 2013 I cut way back on my drinking. I went from drinking a 12 pack of beer a night to only drinking 2 beers a night. Everything was going well for the most part I lost 25 lbs got in good physical shape and except for short moments of extreme anger and depression everything was going well.


Then in January 2014 the cracks in the ice opened up. I became extremely depressed and went to the doctor. i received Paxil and an appointment with a mental health professional. I was informed I have Bipolar II. That information came as a shock. I was taken off the Paxil and given Lithium.


So far it seems the Paxil worked better. I did have an extreme energy and could not sleep on the Paxil but at least my anger was under control. With the lithium my anger seems out of control but it’s only been 7 days so maybe it will get better. 


Now I am on 900 mg of Lithium my dose was recently increased (3 days ago) from 600 mg because I was having extreme feeling of rage and agitation. Now I cannot sleep at all even with the 2 mg of Lunesta. This sucks and although my thoughts aren't raceing they are still coming fast and fuouris. 



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Welcome to Crazyboards, Seahawks.  I ask all new members to read the rules, unless you did that when you signed up.


I think that an unexpected diagnosis can be a real shock to some of us.  If you read some of the topics in the Bipolar forum, you will find several other people who have gone through a similar situation.


You can also post questions about Lithium in that forum or in the one for mood-stabilizing drugs.  You haven't been on it for very long, so I hope it begins to work for you if you stick with it.  If not, there are alternatives that you could discuss with your psychiatrist.


I'm glad you came here and I hope you get some good information and support.



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