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Foobi

A Tale of Two Disorders

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I guess this post is just to vent, because I know the obvious answers. I know I've already said in earlier posts that I was in my sixties, and have dealt with BPD all my life. My two brothers and I grew up in a chaotic household. Lots of yelling and extreme emotions, however, my parents loved us and did their best. I always thought I was the most dysfunctional with my bpd. My one brother appeared to be the "golden boy". He earned his PHD in psychology, had a great job and beautiful family. His wife also earned her PHD in psych.. I know you can't judge a person by their education, but outward appearances looked good. Anyhow, the first sign of trouble was their agreement to live separately in the same house. They would live together "for the sake of the kids" which, to me sounded like a dumb decision . Ok, so the kids are grown and the wife moves out. My brother develops pancreatitis and retires. He first lives with his newly married son, then my other brother. He claimed he was not treated well either place. I, of course offer him a place with me and my partner. He has been here 5 years, it was supposed to be temporary. He says he needs to smoke pot to have an appetite. I didn't want to smell it in the house, so he bought a vaporizer. He claims he is working on a project that, in his words, can possibly change the world. It is a system for managing retirement funds. He never seems to perfect it though. He is intrusive, tells us everything he watches on tv, and every detail of his life. He overreacts to the slightest criticism. At the same time, he is like a sad 3 year old and my heart goes out to him. I know he should move, but I don't have the heart to force the issue. I don't get physically ill often, but I've been sick all week.I am drained. Anyway, sorry I'm so long-winded but there are compassionate people here and I know you understand. Thanks for taking the time to read my tale of woe!

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Do you have a mental illness you have issues with? This is a first person site, not about your brother..

 

ETA: I'm not deleting the post, but I do apologize for what I said. I misread. My apologies.

Edited by thesystemisdown

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She mentioned she has BPD in her post, I believe?

Foobi I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Have you tried talking to your brother about your concerns and issues with him still living with you after so many years? It sounds like it's wearing on you pretty hard and you need a break. I'm sure it would be hard, but it seems like right now you need to look after yourself and your own mental health & well-being.

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Thanks Humanoid. Yes, thesystemsdown, I have bpd and have posted before....in the first person. Maybe it's my BPD, but I found your reply rather insensitive. Others have spoken about family members and how it affects them. I was just trying to feel better. Wow!!

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Sounds like a tough situation.  I've moved your post to the "family" section because I think you will get more support there - the PD board would be better used for questions/support about your own PD.

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My apologies Foobi. I must have skipped it. I didn't mean to come down on you like a bitch.

Right in the first line, so sorry. I did come down too hard. :(

 

I hope you get things sorted. That must be a difficult situation to deal with. You definitely deserve a break and some time on your own to work on your own issues, it sounds exhausting where you currently are. I know its hard to tell someone to move out, but it seems like he's overstayed his welcome.. Sounds like it'd be hard to have a conversation about all that with him though. I'm sorry abut the situation.

 

My apologies again. I am sorry.

 

Thanks for moving the topic, tryp.

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Apology definitely accepted! I never even scrolled down far enough to know there was a family matters section. Also, I'm even more overly sensitive than usual when I'm physically sick. Yeah, it's just about impossible to talk to him, but I know something's gotta give.

Thanks so much for responding.

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Haven't heard from you in a bit Foobi, how are things going now?

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