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shesellsseashells

Do others ruminate?

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I've recently realized that sometimes my thoughts are intrusive and that I ruminate.  I seem to fixate on something and can't let go of it.  Sometimes I feel anxious about it (IRS troubles) and sometimes it's just something I can't shake.  For example, right now I'm obsessed with my car, which I scraped into the guard rail while trying to drive myself to the local mental hospital in my nightgown during a bipolar episode in 2011.  It seems very important suddenly to get it fixed.  I called my insurance company yesterday but will get an estimate first to see if it's even worth putting through the insurance company.  I'm terrified to read the police report, as I was off my rocker (I don't recall most of this) and trucked off to the hospital wearing my nightgown and no underwear.  (Cringe.)  Why am I so worried about this all of a sudden?  The car fixing is playing on a loop in my head.  I'm trying to distract myself.  Do others do this?

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This happens to me a lot, too. Things that happened a while ago, long left behind, will pop back up in my head and I can't get rid of them. Embarrassing moments, things I wished I'd said/done, regrets, painful memories...so many things. It can be really hard to find distractions from these things because they are so stressful! I feel for you...wish I had better advice, but this is something I can't handle well myself. But I hope you are able to find some relief from it soon.

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Yes, definitely....... Once a thought lodges itself in that replay loop, there is no turning it off until i "do" something about it. I never thought of it as a bipolar symptom. For me, the cause seems to be anxiety and OCD.

 

Kinda makes me wonder if you have a comorbid anxiety disorder. But then again, i've heard hypomania can look a LOT like anxiety too, and for a lot of people depression and rumination go hand-in-hand.

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Maybe this doesn't belong in the bipolar forum . . . my pdoc thinks I have OCD, too, but I'm not sure.  My tdoc thinks I have GAD.  I don't really want another diagnosis.  I'm full.  Anyway, bipolar peeps, I'm interested to know your thoughts.


Thank you both . . . good to know I'm not alone.

Edited by shesellsseashells

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I had a diagnosis of pure-O OCD at one point, partly because of the intrusive and ruminating thoughts. I don't know if it still applies since I'm not seeing the same providers and we are working on other issues, but for me personally I think it wasn't completely a bipolar issue. 

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I definitely have this problem. An infinite loop of a specific thought starts and I can't get rid of it. The only thing that I have found that helps is to try to focus on my breathe. Every time I start ruminating again I force myself back to thinking about my breathe. When I absolutely cannot get it under control I take Zoloft. My pdoc says it is OCD related.

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Yes. All the time. It's a quiet fixation, mostly, but when I'm manic it turns into a nightmare. My husband recognises this symptom most. When I focus on a small thing (like a sock on the floor) and it suddenly becomes something that explodes to 100 times it's actual importance. I will follow people room to room rambling on or screaming at them about something tiny that is looping in my head at light speed and somehow seems so huge and such a horrible affront to me. 

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I do this a lot. For a week I was obsessing over choosing a tattoo that I couldn't even get.

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This happens to me too at times.  It happens like when I am deciding when to go out for a walk in the morning, and I will just think about it over and over, but I've found that if I tell myself that I can't do anything about it for a few hours anyway, so I can't worry about it now, I'll slowly start to change my thought process.  Or I'll say I can only take it one day at a time if it is something that is going to happen in a few days.

 

I started thinking like this when it got so overwhelming, that it kind of just "came to me," that I could only take it hour by hour, or day by day or whatever ... like, 'nothing I can do about it now, so might as well not think about it ..."  Kind of like I'll worry when the time comes.

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I started thinking like this when it got so overwhelming, that it kind of just "came to me," that I could only take it hour by hour, or day by day or whatever ... like, 'nothing I can do about it now, so might as well not think about it ..."  Kind of like I'll worry when the time comes.

 

Thanks very much for all your feedback.  Melissa, thanks for this, I hadn't thought about worrying this way before.  I've been doing well breaking other parts of my life into more manageable pieces, so I'll work on distracting myself for a certain period of time and see how that goes.

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I do not have a bipolar diagnosis, yet there are times when my thoughts become so invasive that I could, and sometimes do, scream outloud.

 

However, I am not convinced that either ruminating nor thought invasion are always associated with MI. Instead, I think both are human conditions.

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I do it, but only when in an episode of some sort. It happens with either depression or hypomania. When I'm depressed, it's more about how worthless I am and recounting all my failures and faults. When hypo, it's more about an idea gets in my head that I get really excited about and can't let go until I take some action about it. I've been fairly stable and haven't really done it for quite some time, but I do remember how it feels.

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I do this A LOT. I guess I've never brought it up with a p-doc, but I'm used to it. 

 

I get anxious over shit and freak out about that for hours and hours, without doing anything about it.

 

The stuff I get happy and excited over, I obsess about and do as many things as I can revolving around that.

 

And once I get an idea in my head like that, I usually HAVE to accomplish something to do with it ASAP.

 

We're going on a trip in 4 months. FOUR MONTHS. I spend hours a day looking at hotels. Seriously. There are SIX that we could actually stay at. And I look at them for hours.

 

Now I'm thinking about doing something with my hair. ALL THE TIME. I have homework to do, but I don't know that I'll do it until I've dyed my fucking hair. It's all I think about. And a diet/exercise issue.

 

So I do shit like that, but I don't know if it's the same thing. I also think about this school project I have due in two days and it's a big one and I'm kind of freaking out over that but won't look at it because...what that would make this WORSE? I don't know.

 

So I can kind of relate. As was listed above, I'll get irritated while hypo and I'll also follow people around yelling at them. Mostly SO. 

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And once I get an idea in my head like that, I usually HAVE to accomplish something to do with it ASAP.

 

 

^Me too.

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I ruminate but now, medicated, it's just normal (asked my therapist).  Previous to meds or tdoc or pdoc, I would ruminate to the exclusion of all other thought in my head.  Then when I drifted into a hypomanic episode about 5 yrs ago, rumination morphed into constant conversations that I was not participating in at all.  Which slowly got worse until all I wanted was for the intrusive thoughts to stop eating my brain, shouting at me, screaming at me.  Meds worked to stop it but if I get a little off on my timing of taking my meds, the first thing I hear is that damn screaming, like a sports crowd or something.  yay for morphing rumination.  not.  

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i do this alot and have to end up acting on it otherwise i go off tap by stressing over it.

Edited by The 3 Me's

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This happens to me a lot, too. Things that happened a while ago, long left behind, will pop back up in my head and I can't get rid of them. Embarrassing moments, things I wished I'd said/done, regrets, painful memories...so many things. It can be really hard to find distractions from these things because they are so stressful! I feel for you...wish I had better advice, but this is something I can't handle well myself. But I hope you are able to find some relief from it soon.

 

I have this happen to me, too.  Once I take my AP, it's not so bad, but Clozaril is too sedating to take much during the day. I'll get a memory in my head, and just can't get rid of it.

 

As far as worrying about things that are happening now, or going to happen in the future, I have learned to not worry about things I have no control of.  If it's out of my hands, and I've done everything I can, I'm fine.  Things may not go as I wish, but I've always landed on my feet.  I really put this into practice when I was applying for LTD and SSDI.  I didn't get my LTD, so I am just living off of SSDI, which is a big step backwards, but at least I got SSDI.

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This happens to me a lot, too. Things that happened a while ago, long left behind, will pop back up in my head and I can't get rid of them. Embarrassing moments, things I wished I'd said/done, regrets, painful memories...so many things. It can be really hard to find distractions from these things because they are so stressful! I feel for you...wish I had better advice, but this is something I can't handle well myself. But I hope you are able to find some relief from it soon.

 

I have this happen to me, too.  Once I take my AP, it's not so bad, but Clozaril is too sedating to take much during the day. I'll get a memory in my head, and just can't get rid of it.

 

As far as worrying about things that are happening now, or going to happen in the future, I have learned to not worry about things I have no control of.  If it's out of my hands, and I've done everything I can, I'm fine.  Things may not go as I wish, but I've always landed on my feet.  I really put this into practice when I was applying for LTD and SSDI.  I didn't get my LTD, so I am just living off of SSDI, which is a big step backwards, but at least I got SSDI.

 

i do your reasoning to or ill say this to shall pass

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