Are you a high-functioning professional? I am, and yet I'm a hot mess...

[Pud_Muddle]

Tonight, I found this forum when I googled, "forgetting conversations and anxiety."

 

I have an exceptional memory for images (photographs and such) but have always struggled to remember spoken conversation. Last night, my husband and I were talking about a project I'm working on, and he told me a historical tidbit. I said, "That's interesting, I didn't know that."

 

He said, "Yes, you did, because we had this same conversation last week."

 

I got so upset that I cried, because I feared I was losing my memory.

 

And then I read that when we're stressed, anxious, depressed and/or fatigued, we can experience some memory loss - even whole conversations - sometimes.

 

Plus, I tend to distracted easily (by fears and worries) and then find I'm not paying attention to what someone is saying - and that's real bad too.

 

Anyway - I'm grateful to find this forum. My whole life, so many folks have told me, "You worry a lot, don't you?"

 

And I wish like hell that I knew how to turn it "off," because it makes life very difficult.

 

I am a professional speaker and my name pops up from time to time in regional and national publications (because I'm an expert in my field).. No one watching me perform would ever know that I am a hot mess, and that I have spent an entire lifetime trying to STOP WORRYING.

 

It takes a helluva lot of energy to play that part of a calm, cool professional while underneath that facade, I'm in total meltdown.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Pud Muddle

 

[Wooster]

Funny how being successful and/or highly functional doesn't prevent one from experiencing challenges, isn't it?

I hope you find a good tdoc (therapist) who specializes in treating anxiety. When treated properly, anxiety can get substantially better. And if it doesn't get better, it's quite easy to learn skills to manage so you can function well even when you feel anxious.

I'm glad you've found CB and I hope you find helpful help here.

If you haven't already done so, take a moment to read "the rules" linked in the lower right hand corner. Feel free to PM a mod or admin if you have questions about how things work.

[tryp]

It is very scary to feel that you are losing your memory.  Certainly in times of stress, I have also struggled with losing small chunks, and people telling me that I have done or said things that I do not remember doing or saying.  It's very frightening.

 

Are you getting any kind of professional help for your anxiety?

[Pud_Muddle]

It is very scary to feel that you are losing your memory.  Certainly in times of stress, I have also struggled with losing small chunks, and people telling me that I have done or said things that I do not remember doing or saying.  It's very frightening.

 

Are you getting any kind of professional help for your anxiety?

 

I had a therapist for *five* years that helped me more than I could ever say. He was such a heaven-sent gift, and then at age 53, he died on a Monday morning while sitting in his office. It was a massive heart attack. 

 

I've met with a handful of therapists since then, but haven't found anyone who seems to help.

 

These days, I focus on meditation and calming music and taking time to just sit quietly and breathe deeply. I'm in my late 50s. Seems like it's time I figured out how to do this on my own.  

[amialone48]

Welcome to CrazyBoards! I hope you enjoy your time here. I'm relatively new here as well, and it seems like a really supportive place so far.

 

I wouldn't give up just yet on finding a therapist -- sometimes you have to go "therapist shopping" and try different therapists out before you find the right one. It's worth it, in my opinion.

[bpladybug]

That conversation w your husband is an exact replica of conversations that I have w my husband.  Only he is sometimes more worried than I am.

 

It is not clear to me what are Bipolar symptoms, what are med side effects, and what do I miss because I am lost in ruminating thoughts.

 

I relate a lot to what you wrote.  And I also am high functioning and a professional.  I just try hard to pull it together for appointments w clients.

I think you will get a lot of support here at CB.

Edited April 7, 2014 by bpladybug

[HAL9000]

Don't give up on finding the right TDoc.   I've seen a few over the years and some I didn't click with.    Hopefully I won't sound like a drug fiend suggesting Anxiety meds but they have been an important part of dealing with my Anxiety issues.  What your currently doing is great by the way.  

[Pud_Muddle]

Thanks for the replies. 

 

BPladybug, I wish we could go out for a cup of tea. I'd love to meet someone like myself. I am really good at pretending to be successful, calm, and NORMAL.

 

And it's a helluva act.

 

Thanks for the warm welcome.

[dancesintherain]

Welcome and best wishes. I'd consider myself a fairly high-functioning professional, but I must admit that it's not all it's cracked up to be at times. I'm currently eagerly anticipating a (much needed) vacation that starts next week, as work has been too nuts to be good for me.

 

My primary issues are not anxiety, but I have some fun with that as well, so I sympathize.

[writehellarandomshiny]

I unfortunately don't have any great advice to give you, but I did want to drop a line welcoming you to CB. I hope you'll enjoy it here. The support I've found here is great. 

 

Stay awhile, get to know us. You can hang your hat at the welcome mat. Follow the yellow brick road to get there.

 

...er, and by that I mean, welcome!