lanry78 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Since accepting my diagnosis of Bipolar it has been a roller coaster of a ride, no pun intended. I find myself constantly trying new medications and I wonder at what point do I just accept the treatment I am receiving is the best I'm going to get ? There is no miracle drug for me and I just have to accept that. Does anyone else ever get to that point and how do you handle it ? Second question - I am on Lamicatal and I feel like I have entirely lost my personality. The saphris I don't believe does this and I know the klonpin doesn't - leaving me with the Lamictal. It's as if I am dumb, not quick on my feet. I realize part of my lost personality is me missing the manic outgoing me. I know I won't get that back if I want relative stability but I am sick of feeling like I have no personality at all . Anyone else experience this on Lamictal ? I can't change as I have tried all the other mood stabilizers and this is the only one that has worked for me.Any opiniions on this would be appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 No, I don't experience that on Lamictal. I love the medication because it really balances out my mood. I noticed in your sig you just bumped up the dose. I'd give it a little time to see how you feel; the side effects you are experiencing might go away. About your first question, personally, I have *just* accepted things as they are. I know I am not going to get better, but I know I am doing the best that I can and live my life doing what I am capable of, without stressing myself out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
werehorse Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I haven't experienced that with lamictal. It very effectively lifted me out of a lingering depression so I felt it made me quicker and brighter and more outgoing and energetic. But I only take 125mg so maybe that makes a difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiaB Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 (edited) I find myself constantly trying new medications and I wonder at what point do I just accept the treatment I am receiving is the best I'm going to get ? There is no miracle drug for me and I just have to accept that. Does anyone else ever get to that point and how do you handle it ? Without meaning to depress you, It can often take a very long time to find a combo that really works for you, and even then that's no guarantee. It took me 7 years from receiving the BP diagnosis for my pdoc & me to find a group of meds that really made a significant difference to my functioning. That was January 2012, and I experienced 2 years of amazing stability. Then earlier this year, for no apparent reason, the wheels started to come off, and I'm now in the later stages of yet another med change. The frustration is huge, and hearing my pdoc say that this is just the way BP behaves isn't terribly encouraging. However, those two years of stability were really important in giving me hope that it IS possible to get the med combo right, or as close as dammit to right. 24 months before things went pear shaped again was huge after all the time I'd spent stumbling from one cocktail to another. I say all this to encourage you to keep trying, even though I know it can be despairing and exhausting. Edited April 13, 2014 by miab leaving out words again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowan77 Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 No, that has not been my experience on Lamictal. It has really helped my depression, but took a while because of how long the titration takes. Yep, I'm happy with how Lamictal is working for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Lamictal can have a bit of a cognitive effect at first, I found. I felt a bit slowed down and had trouble with short term memory and word finding. It went away after the first few months and it was worth putting up with, because Lamictal has been a really helpful medication for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnapper Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I second Tryp. I did have some word-finding problems at first, and still do to a small extent, although whether that's Lamictal or menopause is debatable. But Lamictal has been amazing for my mood and has kept me stable for five years, which outweighs just about everything else. I have had a couple of depressive episodes that lasted a couple of years, each, so I'm willing to deal with some side effects if I have to, since the alternative is so horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderful.Cheese Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I am in the process of accepting that this may be as good as I get until or if they come out with different or better treatment. I have been on the med go round since I was 13 or 14. I'm 30 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reverse The Polarity Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 I wonder at what point do I just accept the treatment I am receiving is the best I'm going to get ? There is no miracle drug for me and I just have to accept that. Does anyone else ever get to that point and how do you handle it ? I was there at one point as well, and it was seriously discouraging. I'd tried a bunch of meds and they all failed for various reasons, which made me think I was beyond help. How I handled it was I realised there were other things I could do to improve my mental health, in addition to medication. Lots of therapy and lifestyle changes made a huge impact for me. Taking a holistic approach to my health was very beneficial for me. Re: lamictal. When I first started using mood stabilisers, I also felt like I had lost my personality. It was because I was accustomed to living with the highs and lows of bipolar episodes. Having extreme moods was my normal, and I had to adjust to a new level of existing. It will get easier with time, it's a matter of adjustment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimako Posted April 14, 2014 Share Posted April 14, 2014 Just like Reverse the Polarity said, sometimes it's just that I forgot (if I ever knew?) what it feels like to be stable. It's boring, I'm not jumping out in all directions doing all kinds of shit all the time. I talk about it every time I go the tdoc. But I don't think I really need a change in my lamictal and lithium and klonopin. I think I need a change of mind. I still get upset, cry, get happy, scream when I get something amazing..that sort of thing. If I lost that ability, like I did with depakote, I'd be talking to the pdoc about a med change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitkatt91 Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 (edited) I felt like that for a long time, that there was nothing, i tried i think 31 meds before being stabilized on risperdal and trying a high dose of saphris that has been my miracle drug. i didnn't experience that on lamictal but i took it irregularly so maybe that is why i had such a rough time with it. i've never felt lost of my personality on meds but it something i have definitely heard from others. in my first hospitalization i was taking lamictal and seroquel, was hypomanic for the last three days of hospital, discharged, continued hypomania for a few more days until i ran out of meds and the pharmacy didn't refill my script. stopped everything cold turkey, crashed badly. i got back on them a few days later and i had a very bad time. i slept all day and was awake all night for a month. i stopped taking the seroquel. had a psychotic episode a few days later, continued on only lamictal and was in bed nocturnal for another few weeks, having night terrors (my biggest complaint on lamictal was dreams), and then i stopped the lamictal because i became scared of it killing me, which is why i stop a lot of meds. the first week i was on the lamictal and seroquel i felt great...but then every time after that it didn't feel good, i never got that good feeling ever again and every time i stopped then took it again it seemed to be different. i think it was my fault though, living on my own i didn't take it the same as when i was in the hospital. i had a pill holder but still forgot to take them or i willingly stopped them because of fears of them poisong me. it works really well for a lot of people though. i can say though, being on the saphris for the last almost year, as soon as all the symptoms went away (whch was a slow process) i felt boring. dull. its just that i had never been sane until then though. i missed the creativity and zest for life, but remind myself that the zest for life turns into a runaway train that feels very bad eventually and that when i was unmedicated, once the good feelings went away, they became dark and stayed dark it was very scary. i'm thankful for the "dull" me now, i feel normal and once i acclimated to that, its something i grew to enjoy. Edited April 16, 2014 by kitkatt91 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinthoughtandjaded Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 (edited) I'm borrowing several previous posters' comments, to emphasize and agree with some of the things they said: No, I don't experience that on Lamictal. I love the medication because it really balances out my mood........ About your first question, personally, I have *just* accepted things as they are. I know I am not going to get better, but I know I am doing the best that I can and live my life doing what I am capable of, without stressing myself out. Same here. I find myself constantly trying new medications and I wonder at what point do I just accept the treatment I am receiving is the best I'm going to get ? There is no miracle drug for me and I just have to accept that. Does anyone else ever get to that point and how do you handle it ? Without meaning to depress you, It can often take a very long time to find a combo that really works for you, and even then that's no guarantee. It took me 7 years from receiving the BP diagnosis for my pdoc & me to find a group of meds that really made a significant difference to my functioning....... The frustration is huge, and hearing my pdoc say that this is just the way BP behaves isn't terribly encouraging. However, those two years of stability were really important in giving me hope that it IS possible to get the med combo right, or as close as dammit to right. 24 months before things went pear shaped again was huge after all the time I'd spent stumbling from one cocktail to another. I say all this to encourage you to keep trying, even though I know it can be despairing and exhausting. Same again. Lamictal can have a bit of a cognitive effect at first, I found. I felt a bit slowed down and had trouble with short term memory and word finding. It went away after the first few months and it was worth putting up with, because Lamictal has been a really helpful medication for me. I was glad to read this one too, 'cause I've really been stressing out over the short-term memory issue, and the word-finding thing feels weird too, because I'm normally really good at chatting in conversation - but since taking Lamictal, it's like sometimes mid-sentence the verbal part of my brain will freeze and I have to frantically search my brain for the ability to pick back up and carry on with my speech... often it requires the help of my conversational partner reminding me what was last said. Just like Reverse the Polarity said, sometimes it's just that I forgot (if I ever knew?) what it feels like to be stable. It's boring, I'm not jumping out in all directions doing all kinds of shit all the time. I talk about it every time I go the tdoc. But I don't think I really need a change in my lamictal and lithium and klonopin. I think I need a change of mind. I still get upset, cry, get happy, scream when I get something amazing..that sort of thing. If I lost that ability, like I did with depakote, I'd be talking to the pdoc about a med change. Same. I wouldn't say I feel "flat", or have lost my personality - actually, probably far from it (though it's taken me a buttload of time to find the right meds and the right dose, and I still expect that to change in the future). But it does feel really weird, now that the super-high-screaming-euphoric highs and devastatingly-black-crushing-drowning lows aren't a regular occurrence. That part is admittedly still taking some getting used to. Edited April 18, 2014 by lostinthoughtandjaded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 I'm going to move this to Mood Stabilizers/Anti Convulsants, you're going to get better replies there. The lamictal "stupids" and whatnot should gradually go away, I hope they go away fast for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjs190 Posted April 23, 2014 Share Posted April 23, 2014 (edited) Lamictal caused some cognitive side effects for me at first, too. I wouldn't call it "slowed down" but more temporarily lost for words and such. Re: the Saphris...are you sure thats not blunting you? I would think that an anti-psychotic would be more likely to "flatten" somebody out than Lamictal, only because Lamictal is pretty benign as far as mood stabilizers go. Also Klonopin can mess with my memory at times, depending on how long my stint on it is. Edited April 23, 2014 by mjs190 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine123 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 I have only been on lamictal for 2 months and I still swing.. The swings are less intense... Especially the depression which makes me want to die. I really like it. I have more up days which are great. The downs are much less severe and only last a day or two. I had memory problems and word searching issues before lamictal. I'm not sure why. I also take wellbutrin. This combo has been great for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbukthru Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 Lamictal has been my wonder drug that works wonders. It's the only thing that has touched my depression with minimal side effects (I did notice it affecting my memory when I first started on it, but it was worth it). The downside is that I really feel it when I am late for my dose, and if I miss one, the day can be rough to get through. On the other hand, that certainly makes it a self-compliance-enforcing drug... I can't take more than 200 mg without getting *really* stupid though, and I kinda wonder what my cognitive abilities would be without it at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeachLyfe Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I'm currently going up up and away on lamictal, which is supposed to be getting me out of a major depressive episode. My experience has been that the drug definitely slows me down. I'm having big issues with short term memory (setting something down in front of me and immediately forget where I set it) as well as finding the right words. I had the same freak out as you, and was assured by everyone everywhere (seriously, I asked everyone, including my pdoc and a few that weren't mine, just in case) that it is only temporary and will even out once you find that sweet spot dose. Now I just try to laugh at it and make a joke about getting old, or if I'm out, a joke about drugs. It's a great trade off, though, because I've seen some good improvement in this depression. I can finally see the light waaaaaay down there at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there. I'm told it will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I was really mad at the doctors when they put my son on lamictal because I have always thought lithium was the gold standard. It probably still is, but now I can't take lithium and lamictal has worked for me so far. Re cognitive dulling, I feel less day-to-day flatness w/ lamitcal versus lithium. I think that's actually helped. I am over a year out from my last psychotic break and my breaks were getting more frequent and more severe. Hope springs eternal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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