Gary Harmon Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 So, not only am I on SS disability, but both of my parents are as well (health issues for them, MI for me). My mom is in particularly bad shape. She's bedridden from rheumatoid arthritis, which is bad, but she's too lazy to do rehab, which is far worse. She doesn't have as much of a problem completely depending on other people to live. No, scratch that. She's not living, she's existing and there's a big difference there. It frustrates the ever-loving shit out of me because she has a problem with a clear cut solution: rehab = muscle strength which = mobility given enough time and effort. In contrast, my problem (schizoaffective disorder and the joys and sorrows that go along with that) is much more complicated with no clearly defined answer and is almost certainly something that will be with me until the end of my days. I mean, when people like me give up, we blow our fucking brains out. Here I am haunted by completely irrational, but powerfully persuasive impulses to kill myself, and my own mother can't seem to muster the will fight at all. It's so so so so so so so so so so frustrating. Anyway, the problem (today) is not her, but with my stupid selfish cuntfaced sister. My mom wanted to go to church today, and it's always a process to get her ready to go anywhere. My sister was supposed help, but she refused. All that would have been involved would be to guide my mom down the ramp in front of our front door and that would have been it. But when I asked my sister why she didn't help, she said it was "too dangerous." She is always pulling shit like this. Man, anything to get out of doing something for someone other than yourself. There's always a fucking excuse with her. And omg does she have a temper and she just says and does whatever the fuck she feels like. People like that simply astound me. I've gone my whole life repressing this fucked up thing inside of me, and I'm surrounded by people--supposedly SANE people--who simply do and say whatever comes to mind. "Boo hoo! I have a rage problem because I feel somewhat inadequate! Things aren't turning out for me like I thought they would, so I'm going to lash out at those around me. Oh, boo hoo! It's not fair!" Rage? Rage. She thinks she knows. The animal, the monster, the primal fucking urge to seek retribution that speaks in my head when things go red says in a scary voice, punctuating every word like a hammer blow: "You. Don't. Know. Rage. Not......Yet. Maybe I'll show you sometime soon." She has no idea what problems really are. She has no idea what true frustration is like. Godamnit. People can be so fucking selfish sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickler Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hey, welcome to Crazyboards. Rules down in the bottom right-hand corner. Hope you like it here. Lots of frustration you're stuck dealing with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
water Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Sorry about your sister. People can be very fcking selfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cadenza Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I'm not exactly big on comparing problems, as if there is a ranking system, but wow, that was very selfish of your sister. Shame on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prysm Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I suffer from RA and I can give some insight. I worked for 42 years; 27 of them at one company, never missed more than a couple weeks between jobs after lay offs, and never missed work for health issues or any other issues save a three month leave to provide 24 hour care for my terminally ill mother in law. As fate would have it, I came down with RA, contracted Fibromyalgia (sympathetic to the RA) and had to have three discs fussed in my lower lumbar. Also, as a complication to the RA I have a high liver count, progressive chronic anemia, and bi-lateral neuropathy in my arms and neuropathy in my left leg. I won't even mention the radial nerve palsy that paralyzed my left arm because the six months of physical therapy that I went through gratefully corrected that affliction. My point is that with severe chronic pain and chronic fatigue, it is extremely hard to get motivated to do anything and extremely easy to get my nights and days turned around considering I rarely get more that two hours of sleep at any given time. For me, severe RA has been the source of debilitating depression, rage, and loss of concentration. I know that your "MI" is a bitch and my sister is a total cunt so I'm with you on that one too. I actually found this blog by searching for: "I want to kill my fucking sister". My kids are coming into town with my grandkids this Tuesday and will be staying with my mother (my condo is a one bedroom) for one day and one night before returning home. My fucking sister just made plans for my 85 year old mother on the very day that she would have been able to spend some time with my children and grand children. They only visit twice a year (maybe 3-4 days all combined), and my fucking sister is taking my mother to pick up her new (used) car from a dealer that is an hour away. Counting the time it will take to finalize all of the paperwork and the 2 hour round trip drive, she will not only take my mom away for half the day, but she will also fatigue her out for the rest of the day. I get to shop for the groceries, prepare all the meals and my family will be deprived of my mom's company and either I or my sister could have planned to pick up the new car one fucking day later. My sister does this because her 35 year old spoiled rotten unemployed fuck of a son is not married and has no intention of starting a family so my sister is jealous. I have four grandchildren and she has to change her off spring's diapers. The kid has a master's degree and it only took him 13 years to get it. He has never worked!! The whole jest of my rant is; many people with chronic physical illnesses have to suffer with undiagnosed mental illnesses that are a result of their chronic conditions and dysfunctional family issues that are forced on them due to those illnesses. So if anyone has any thoughts; "how can I kill my fucking sister"?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickler Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) Ok, have you tried negotiating with her about it? Like "I will take you to pick up the car the next day (or a day earlier), but I really would like to have grandma around the kids all day on this Tuesday." Just making sure this is actual malign intent and not just a communication issue. My sister does this because her 35 year old spoiled rotten unemployed fuck of a son is not married and has no intention of starting a family so my sister is jealous. Her kid, her business. But are you sure this is a one-upmanship game? Just wondering, I would think she'd be interested in hanging out with her grandnieces and nephews. Maybe she really wants an invitation to come over and hang with mom, your kids and grandkids on Tuesday? Did you see if she wanted to come over? I mean, I can tell you don't like her...but maybe the kids and grandkids deserve to see her, and that would be worth stifling the urge to choke a bitch. Edited September 14, 2014 by Stickler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I have chronic pain. It is more debilitating than you may think. She also may be depressed, I was initially (and not from the BP). And it is hard to do even things you enjoy when you are in pain, let alone a painful "chore" like exercising. She hurts, and is afraid of hurting more. You are right on a rational level, but pain doesn't make people very rational. I am sorry you are MI, but you aren't in a contest with your parents as to who is the most sick. You definitely indicated that your illness was more legitimate than hers, because you feel she is supposed to change her behavior. That prospect may seem easy to you, but it is not. Have your parents looked into a home care nurse a few days a week? I don't know what is available on SSDI, but since by definition she has trouble caring for herself because of her disability, the Federal, State, or even County might help. You might want to start with the County Health Dept for some tips. At the very least, they may offer reprieve days (a day where they are in charge of your mother, so you can go out and do something fun). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I second respite. When I was a caregiver the only way that I could do anything (including therapy, laundry, and groceries) was because I had respite hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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