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You Crazy Boards, Me Jane.

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Hi Crazy Boards,

I've been lurking for a few weeks and finally got the time to join and introduce myself.  My diagnosis is ADD (inattentive type), GAD, PTSD, and depression since I can remember.  Currently medding on Focalin 10mg and Prozac 20mg.  Past meds were Adderall, Strattera and Paxil.

I actually just started on the Focalin a few weeks ago, which is why I actually have the ability to sit down at the computer and write a post.  The pills are working great (so far), much better than the Adderall.  It's nice to be able to think in a straight-ish line and actually feel the passage of time in a regular fashion.  Little rays of optimism are starting to creep in, and my house is starting to get clean, and I just...maybe...might...take a college class next semester. ONE class.  I am SO not wanting to kill my buzz by biting off more than I can chew.

I haven't been this functional as an adult before and it's pretty nice.  It's been such a long ugly road to get to this point, though.  Let me just say that while lurking on Crazy Boards I've discovered that I fit right in.  I have SO been there and SO done that.  ALL that.  Impulsive irresponsible freakazoid since birth. Social pariah with no friends during school. Flunked out of college, lost about 8 jobs, I'm currently a homemaker.  Or that's what they call women who stay home and are supposed to clean house and cook and take care of kids and laundry and husbands and stuff like that.  Actually I just managed to convince somebody I was worth marrying and forgot to take my birth control pills so...voila, I'm a mommy!  The husband decided to keep me at home since I couldn't keep a job and we needed childcare anyway.  I don't actually MAKE a home.  I just try to keep it from burning down once a week.  The Focalin has been helping me make sure everybody eats when they need to and that there are somewhat clean clothes to wear.  It's been so bad for so long that I think it'll take me months to dig out, so I sure hope the Focalin keeps working.

The ADD's the most profound of my cooties and probably the root cause on the GAD.  I mean, who doesn't get anxious about things when you've screwed up everything you've ever done?  The PTSD is from childhood trauma and flickers in and out these days.  I think I might be letting it go now that I've got a family of my own.  My kids are great.  Thankfully they haven't seemed to inherit the ADD and are being very age and gender appropriate at school.  And they don't care if Mommy's a royal nutcase, because she makes kickass snow forts and will never, ever criticize when they leave their shoes out in the back yard to get rained on...again.  (Her shoes are in the yard too...or maybe in the bathroom.  Or in the fridge, who knows.)

Anyway, that's probably all the Jane you want to know for the moment. I'm happy I found this site.  My husband, my parents, and my in-laws are all disgustingly non-crazy and have been as useful as a jock strap on a stop sign when it comes to my mental health.

May today's flavor of reality be pleasant for you,


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Welcome! I LOVED your post! I have ADD (non-functioning, grody-dust-bunny-filled house type) too.

Hmmm? Focalin? Might have to go do some research on that--right now, of course, even tho it's 3am here.

I look forward to hearing more from ya!


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