tinhair Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) --------------------------------------------------- Edited September 27, 2014 by tinhair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hagar Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I try to limit my exposure to people like this as much as humanly possible. I realize for a lot of people that's impossible, because they could be your "friends," family members, or people you live with. For that, I have no advice, but I'm sorry you have to deal with it. And I admire your restraint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickler Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) I I'm not a Christian, but I think the sentiment's pretty universal... Edited May 25, 2014 by Stickler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinhair Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) ----------------- Edited September 27, 2014 by tinhair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinhair Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) ------------------ Edited September 27, 2014 by tinhair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fya13 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Avoid whenever possible, and if that's not possible, tell them you will not tolerate that treatment, and they can fuck off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I am trying to disown certain members of my family for this reason. I have no need to be around toxic people, even if we have relations in common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 How do you guys deal with jerks like that? Firstly by weighing whether saying anything would have any chance of improving the situation. Often the answer is "no." (After a quick review to check that there isn't actually anything I've done I should be apologising for, even if the attitude is totally disproportionate to it.) There may be the possibility of saying "We can talk later, when you've turned the heat and the volume down." Thoughts, however, they can come with less restriction. "Is my problem? No, is YOUR problem!" is an mental phrase I find very useful indeed. There are many variants available: "Now there's someone who would be improved with a good slap of the cluestick..." etc. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinhair Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) ------------------- Edited September 27, 2014 by tinhair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 When this happens, I just stand there with a blank face, let them say what they have to say, then pretty much say, "ok" then walk away. I find sometimes it isn't worth explaining to people because no matter what I say they wont understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest_hamster Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) I have said this a few times to people who are blatantly looking to make themselves feel superior or want some form of win (for them) lose payoff. In a non emotive tone of voice "Really....why would I care what you think?" It took some practice because initially it comes across as a little arrogant, however it really isn't. It is simply stating that the persons comments or opinion of a situation or of me holds no value . It isn't belittling them or resorting to insults. It is short and sweet. What can they say to that? If they choose to try and continue to denigrate/intimidate/be an asshat, then they look like a fool, especially in front of others, and especially if the above message is delivered more than once. It takes practice but I've found it really stops people in their tracks because it is unexpected and upsets the rules of 'their game'. In saying that though............sometimes it is really satisfying to tell some people to go fuck themselves Edited May 26, 2014 by hamster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crodentia Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Quite often, I am ill treated by assholes that have no idea what misseries I have experienced in life. They try to belittle me, mock me or ridicule me. I sometimes have an urge to beat the crap out of them but I always manage to resist the temptation. it is not worth getting into trouble over. How do you guys deal with jerks like that? The people you describe are the people I have a hard time not going postal on, because that's the kind of people that contributed to my current mental illnesses. However, hurting them would be contributing to my mental illness, so I have learned the art of forgiveness, and I have learned how to walk away. I'll only hit someone if I absolutely must, which generally means I'm bleeding by the time I hit them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimako Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 What Melissaw72 said up there ^^ only skipping the listening part. I have no problem being rude and just walking away quietly. If I'm at DH;s family function of one sort or another, there will be 40eleven people there. I walk away and walk to someone I can stand. If I'm at one of my family functions....oh wait, I don't go to those unless they are at my house and I can get the hell away in my room or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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