beenaround Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 I'm not very good at describing myself, mainly I guess because I'm still trying to figure that out so I'll give you a bit of a backgrounder and hope that gives you a bit of an idea about why I'm here. About 20 years ago in my mid 30's, I had a nervous breakdown, was dx'd by a new pdoc w MDD, was hospitalized and rx'd Prozac, which proved the first in a long line of meds I now don't recall save for saying the next 4 yrs in and out of hospital are what I now refer to as being "the 4 years that weren't". Underwent alot of outpatient CBT based therapy and supportive talk therapy through the hospital's outpatient ward and generally was disillusioned with the world around me, who I was (and to become), and how I fit in (which never really was something I seemed to do very well). Nothing I did seemed to help for years, though finally an MAOI (nardil) did provide some relief of my depression and I maintained that for about 7 yrs until my pdoc said I should try Effexor XR. I hesistantly did so (effexor (non-XR) was in the 4 yr meds go-round and had given me troublesome side-effects). Essentially, I've been on the Effexor XR at varying dosages ever since, for about 9 yrs or so. Anxiety meds helped but were addictive and so could not be maintained. CBT was helpful only in the short-term and I battled stigma and personal attacks in a toxic workplace for years in order to put food on the table for my son and I. Over the years I've pretty much lost everything I've attained and I now live in my estranged parents' basement with an unhealthy family dynamic and personal physical issues complicating the scenario. A few years back there was a bright spot when I qualified for govt disability assistance and gained a community caseworker's support. Since then I've fired my former pdoc and have been working on regaining my personal sense of self-worth. I can't say enough about the community supports that I've been able to access. Physio and a patient-centred mental health tdoc have helped me to a great degree and last year DBT and a 3-week stay at a rehab centre (cannabis, yes, cannabis), provided me with new insights and tools that essentially are helping me to believe that I can manage, that I'm okay where I am right now and that maybe there is something to look forward to in the world... maybe I do fit in somewhere and maybe there IS something I have to offer. And when I figure that out, I'll be sure to let you know. Now, that said, I am quirky and corny, mid-50's and uber-sensitive, I don't pick up on clues very well and I have other dx's that I've not shared, but enough, goodness, this writes like a woe-is-me novel and so I'll end off by just saying that there's alot of other stuff that defines me (personality-wise and dx-wise), so I'm really hoping to interconnect here in meaningful ways that will benefit myself and others. From the get-go, I'm blown away by this community, it's alot to take in, gosh, thank-you for - everything and I look forward to making new friends and participating as I can. : ) Been Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickler Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Well hi there. Hope you like it here. ...Ok, so you went to rehab to quit weed, am I reading that right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beenaround Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 Yes. Yes I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 "From the get-go, I'm blown away by this community, it's alot to take in, gosh, thank-you for - everything and I look forward to making new friends and participating as I can." "I'm gettin' bugged drivin' up and down the same old strip I've got to find a new place where the kids are hip" Oh, sorry, that's "get around", not "beenaround" Hello and welcome, anyway. We have some of the sanest mad people on the planet and some of the maddest sane ones. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beenaround Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 Thanks for the welcomes, both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duelist Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Welcome to CB beenaround. Glad to have you with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hello and welcome to Crazyboards. I ask all new members to read the rules. If you did that when you signed up, you are all set to go. I'm in my 60s and we have several members in their 50s and 60s, so you're not alone. I'm glad you came here and I hope we can be a good source of information and support for you. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanillagorilla Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Hi there been nice to meet you, i have only been at cb a short while and can already tell you the people here are really nice and helpful. if you ever need a chat the chat section is a great place to go there is nearly always someone on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beenaround Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Thank-you thank-you thank-you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guzzi Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Welcome,I am also relatively new here at the site.I am also in my 50'sThere are some very supportive people on this site.I hope you make some new friends.I am a single male that raised 4 boys by myself,after their mother died in 2002.I saw you earlier on the chat,welcome again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beenaround Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 (edited) Hi there Guzzi, Thanks alot and nice to meet you. Sounds like you've been through alot of challenges and I'm sorry to hear of your loss. With 4 boys you have a houseful! I look forward to chatting and sharing, this does seem an amazingly supportive place. Thanks again for your welcome. Edited May 28, 2014 by beenaround Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OffKilter Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 This is a good place to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Hey beenaround. I've been talking to you in chat. You're right, this is a great community. I hope you enjoy it here and find a safe place to talk and work on issues. CBT is great. I'm glad you have some support in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beenaround Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 That it is, OffKilter, that it is. Thanks, San, appreciate you pulling me outta da chat fire. : ) Y'all rock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aldrake Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 welcome Beenaround! from the way i've seen so far, CB is a nice place to be.. it keeps me occupied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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