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Am I crazy to get back with her

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This is a long story but I will keep it simple, I'm just looking for some feedback. I am nearing my forties and have always been the type of guy who likes to date and move on never settling down with a girl. However about 2 years ago I went out with someone and it just felt different. There was just a connection and we fell in love. Then basically out of nowhere she just stopped talking to me, blamed me for trivial things and broke my heart. I was devastated and just thought of her constantly, knowing that she was done with me and could move forward. She has some mental problems and so do I. She reached out to me last week to "test my feelings". Well we met talked some things over, had sex and agreed to try take things slow to get back together. I never stopped loving her but she stopped loving me. Am I stupid to do this again? Am I setting myself up to get my heart broken again? Does or did she ever really love me? Can I really take it slow? I'm so confussed yet happy at the same time. Why can't I just move on

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I honestly don't know if you're setting yourself up again, but it sounds to me like a whole lot more talking needs to go on before you leap straight back into a relationship with her.  When you said you "talked some things over", then had sex, do you feel that you covered all the hurt of your previous experience with her? Sorry to be blunt, but was the sex worth potentially laying yourself open to being abused again?  

 

If the relationship is worth having, then it deserves the time and energy that it would take to get really honest with each other other about what happened last time before becoming physically intimate again.  "Mental problems" on either her side or yours are no excuse for your having been treated badly.  Handle your heart and spirit respectfully, and put the work into dealing with all the unresolved stuff before taking this any further.

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Am I stupid to do this again? Am I setting myself up to get my heart broken again? Does or did she ever really love me? Can I really take it slow? I'm so confussed yet happy at the same time. Why can't I just move on

 

Are you stupid to get into that relationship again? No one can really answer that one for you.

 

Are you setting yourself up to get your heart broken again? Yes, but that doesn't mean she will break your heart.

 

Does or did she ever really love you? Again, only you can really answer that one.

 

Can you take it really slow? Well you've already had sex with her, which goes against my idea of slow, but I suppose it's possible for you two to go at your own definition of slow, whatever that is.

 

There's not a lot in your post to go on. Yes, it's a risk. You have to be the one to decide whether the risk is worth it.

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You could get your heart broken again - or you could fall in love again.

 

You would not be the first couple to fall in love , break up, then get back together.

 

Just take it slow and make sure she is reciprocating and making efforts to spend time with you and communicate.

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Personally, I think the odds are stacked against you and that's coming from someone who was in a similar situation to yours at one point, but that doesn't mean things couldn't work. As other people have said though, I think you should take it slow, much slower than you're going now. Because if you go too fast, you could fall back into those old feelings again and be incredibly vulnerable, which is dangerous because this girl hasn't proven how she really feels yet. You could just be setting yourself up for more heartbreak, but you'll never know without trying. Just be cautious and lead with your heart and not your dick.

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Yep oh well for taking it slow. We have slept at each others house every night since last Sunday except for one night. We have stayed up every night talking about things in the past and what bothered each of us. We have ironed out a lot of our issues and were trying to work on them. I do believe her reasons for leaving and some had to do with a dying loved one she had to take care of. She's told me that she never had someone like me love her and she didn't know know what I meant until I was gone. She had wanted to reach out months ago but she has too much pride and also figured the way she left me I could never get back with her. It was actually her daughter that convinced her to get in touch with me. I have noticed changes for the better in her. I do believe the things she's says but I'm holding back cause I've seen her cold hearted and never thought I would see that. She's come from a really rough childhood and she has mental and stability issues. The mental issues I can handle cause I'm pretty crazy up top too, it the stability that worries me even though she says it's not going to be an issue. Our kids are more involved in this last time around. She's the one I love bottom line but I will hold back as long as I can. I don't know how to slow things down cause after the honeymoon time is over that's when the real work begins. Only time will tell. I case I haven't figured it out we are both bat shit crazy but have good sides and couldn't be more opposite but there's is that certain "it" between us. Thanks to everyone responding and please feel free to keep responding. Yes I know I should break down my posts into paragraphs

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Well, best of luck.  Everything else was just our opinion as a bunch of crazy people on the net (but you did ask).  I hope things work out for you both.  Couples therapy might be something worth thinking about too.

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Yep oh well for taking it slow. We have slept at each others house every night since last Sunday except for one night. We have stayed up every night talking about things in the past and what bothered each of us. We have ironed out a lot of our issues and were trying to work on them. I do believe her reasons for leaving and some had to do with a dying loved one she had to take care of. She's told me that she never had someone like me love her and she didn't know know what I meant until I was gone. She had wanted to reach out months ago but she has too much pride and also figured the way she left me I could never get back with her. It was actually her daughter that convinced her to get in touch with me. I have noticed changes for the better in her. I do believe the things she's says but I'm holding back cause I've seen her cold hearted and never thought I would see that. She's come from a really rough childhood and she has mental and stability issues. The mental issues I can handle cause I'm pretty crazy up top too, it the stability that worries me even though she says it's not going to be an issue. Our kids are more involved in this last time around. She's the one I love bottom line but I will hold back as long as I can. I don't know how to slow things down cause after the honeymoon time is over that's when the real work begins. Only time will tell. I case I haven't figured it out we are both bat shit crazy but have good sides and couldn't be more opposite but there's is that certain "it" between us. Thanks to everyone responding and please feel free to keep responding. Yes I know I should break down my posts into paragraphs

 

Just be careful, if not for yourself then your children and hers. Good luck.

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Thank you Titania for sharing your views, they were very well thought out. And yes we have discussed what the problems were between us. Communication was lacking on both ends mostly because were both stubborn. Right now we are basically back to sleeping at each others house every night after work. We have talked numerous times what we need to do to prevent a breakup. I honestly believe that I'm the only guy she has ever really loved and for me she is only the second girl I've ever loved and were both in our mid thirties so we certainly have an "it" to us. Yet I still remain cautious, while she sees no need for that but understands why I feel that way. All seems to be working well between us but you never know. I want to let it all go but at the same time I will not get hurt again. Thanks again to everyone. If you see me over on the suicide board " wake my ass up". I be been sleeping rather well since we started again, so that's a good sign because my sleeping sucks because my mind never shuts off. I guess having her next to me comforts me. It's 330 am and I'm still awake so it's a safe bet to assume she's not next to me.

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