Handfull Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) So firstly, hello. I'm going to hide behind pseudonym Handfull, that is misspelled version of Handful as in, someone who is most likely to annoy people with his opinion or bash theirs. I'm in my early twenties and I'm here to spread chaos. A little about how I turned out to be crazy: A year back had tons of bad things happen at the same time, got me shaken so much that couldn't focus on pretty much anything nor fall asleep because my head was overwhelmed with thoughts that comes and goes with speed, that rivals sound. After quitting both my job and university (well, when I look at it now, it was pretty dumb decision, but oh well, I was driven to the point where I couldn't form a sentence properly (hi there, social anxiety) and having yet another accident on the road, I said screw this, I better go and see my doctor. Went to see the lad, freaked him out so much that he sent me straight to psychiatric ward. There, in a company of three professionals, got asked many questions, calmed me down a lot, since didn't had anyone I could really talk about it (funny thing, when the "hell" started to get lose and I tried to seek help from my friends, but got rejected big time, and afterwards they started to avoid me, still hurts a bit even now, but I learned my lesson). Diagnose was a bit weird, nervous-breakdown/borderline bipolar/schizophrenic. Anyhow, got prescribed seroquel, and they let me off the hook. Popped the pills, and finally could fall asleep. God, that helped a lot (getting some sleep, that is), gears in my head started to turn yet again, and since my social relationships crumbled, leaving only bitter memories in place of what used to be my whole life, I decided - screw this place, I'm moving to another country so that I can regain my "sanity" and cool down. So, yes, year has passed, did some zen-meditation (really helped me in sorting out my thoughts and some inner struggles (by the way)), did some sports, tried to stick to healthy food most of the time and built some determination (maybe not as strong as it used to be, but still). Returned back to the country, trying to rebuild my life, get a degree (I'm not sure, that I have the character to start my own business, and I don't mind to having a desk job either (not the most exciting life, but still a life) et cetera. So yes, it's been a month since project "reboot life" was green-lit, and I'm... Well, totally pissed off. All my accumulated inner peace vanished, because no matter how I look at it, a lot of people who I trusted just fucking flipped me over, even close friends and family. And I'm so obsessed with revenge that it's getting hard to focus on anything else. It's as if life was going wonderful and one day and I just stepped on a land-mine that tore me to pieces making me fall into a coma, where I tried to sew myself back together inside my head, just to discover a plot-twist after waking up, that it was a rocket-launcher instead of land-mine, aimed by the people who where close to me. In my moment of weakness they went on a full scale attack, so fucking screw them. So my conclusion - people are ass-holes, society is run by ass-holes and you can trust none. Oh, and about the topic, so the thing is, I'm too tired since I smoked too much hash and I already wrote a wall a text. Anyhow, if you want, you can read the text in the link, and tell me what you think about it: http://pastebin.com/BT1sXLEA Edited June 15, 2014 by Handfull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Hi Handfull. I wanted to welcome you to CB, but I also want you to know that we are very much a pro-treatment site. We encourage people to work with their teams of care providers to find what treatment works best for them, including antipsychotics, which I see you refer to as 'poison' in your pastebin link. That kind of anti-med talk is not what we support here at CB because we have members who would be dead without their medications. Mental illnesses, while having some socially constructed meanings for sure, are not a lie. The suffering people have because of their symptoms is all to real. If you do not agree with these premises, then there are LOADS of other communities who will welcome you with open arms. We, however, are not one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiaB Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 1. Wall of text is right. That was virtually impossible to read. 2. This is a pro-psychiatry, pro-meds, pro-treatment site. What do you want from us? 3. Saying you're "here to spread chaos" is a fast way to make your stay here very, very short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handfull Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Well, lets be open-minded, people can read the tittle of the thread before they click on it. The tittle is pretty straightforward about what kind of information might be present. I'm not forcing anyone to read it. Even more - it's a link, so you can simply read the introduction and avoid clicking on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 There are loads of things about which our community is open minded. However, we are VERY clear that we are pro-treatment. As I said before, there are MANY other internet forums that would welcome you and your perspectives with open arms. However over the years here at CB, we have found that people who hold the opinions you express tend to not fit in very well here. How about some openmindedness from you toward understanding the parameters of our community and why they might be the way they are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handfull Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) 1. Wall of text is right. That was virtually impossible to read. 2. This is a pro-psychiatry, pro-meds, pro-treatment site. What do you want from us? 3. Saying you're "here to spread chaos" is a fast way to make your stay here very, very short. Why are you jumping on me? "Spread Chaos", can't take a joke? Well, sorry if my sense of humour doesn't fit your taste, but it's not my problem, it's yours. I'm not even posting in the main area, it's an introductions. And I'll mention it again, that I am not forcing anyone to click on it. Edited June 15, 2014 by Handfull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiaB Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) Apart from anything else, although this site is run by volunteers, Wooster and I are still moderators* and it's part of our job to read these threads. Speaking of reading things, have you perused our rules? *correction: I'm a mod and Wooster is an admin Edited June 15, 2014 by miab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handfull Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) Fine, I get it, I'm not welcomed here. You can delete this post and account as well. Oh, and forum rules said, don't be jerks, so shame on you mods. Edited June 15, 2014 by Handfull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 May I specifically point out... Don't be a jerk. We get to define what constitutes being a jerk. Basically, if you're a bigger asshole than any of our moderators, you're a jerk. Acting in a way that prevents people from getting support from a support site or otherwise subverts the intention of the site is definitely a jerky thing to do. If you do jerky things you may get suspended. It's clear we aren't a good fit for you. Thank you for recognizing that and moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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