Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I used to be very happy and funny guy who loved dancing and enjoyed going out with friends until one night I got drunk
and someone put drugs in my drinks.I still dont know what that drug was but I felt like my legs were burning and I became very agressive and delusional.I got locked up for trying to brake into a house and send into a mental hospital.
I was forced to take zyprexa for 3 months.
Since then I lost all feelings and emotions. For all I mean: fear, love, hate, envy,everithing.I've Lost all my friends. No desire to live, I feel like an empty shell. Complete lack of creativity, lack of social skills
Lack of empathy, lack of motivation and a sense of accomplishment.
5 months ago I stopped taking zyprexa but I have no improvement and Im beginning to think that my brain is permanently damaged by these drugs.


Is there any hope that my brain will recover?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you are considering suicide, please call a suicide hotline or check yourself into a hospital.


The symptoms and timing you described in chat and what you're describing now sound more like an ongoing mental illness rather than someone spiking your drink with amphetamines and then having to take Zyprexa for 3 months.   I'm basing this partly on the fact that you were diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder in the hospital and not acute intoxication.


What you're feeling now is likely not from the drugs.  Which sucks.  But you can recover nonetheless if you get the appropriate treatment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've gotten better after my first psychotic break. After multiple ones even I pretty totally recovered.

I have some things that persist at this point, but likely from repeatedly cracking because it's happened a lot for considerable time added up since then, so it takes a lot longer, but still the zyprexa offers a barrier to keep my mind together a lot. That for me though.

Also, with time, for me, if it's negative/cognitive symptoms, if I force self to continue with social shit even when it sucks and so forth some things have helped and it has gotten better if just takes a while. I did have long term care after a shattering several years ago, however, and they've plagued me off and on since. I didn't get as many negative symptoms for the first decade or so after being diagnosed, though. Unsure if that's what you could be experiencing?

Sorry I can't be of more help but I do hope you're feeling better soon and welcome. Oh! And I've been prescribed and also given ok to take things to try and treat negative symptoms. Have you asked your psychiatrist about that possibility or have you had them (negative/cognitive symptoms) before?

If not, or if is medication side effects, did you only stop or did you switch to something else?

Hope your care providers offer some other options and maybe inquire about possible negative/cognitive symptoms of ailment to get information because there are more out there than just zyprexa. Have you done any therapy or other things? Best to you

Edited by mellifluous
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

I had the same thing happen to me. Drug induced psychosis. (several of em)...... then a MASSIVE psychotic break that really needed meds to bring me back. That was a year ago and it's been a horrible year. But that's over now. I'm getting better and am starting to move on with life.Finally


When I started anti psychotics (I started with Risperidone) I lost ALL the colour out of the world. There was no pleasure, no emotions, NOTHING. It was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I quit my job, moved back to my parents, and waited for death to come. I couldn't feel a conversation, couldn't appreciate music... of any kind... it became just another noise. I couldn't connect with people. Coz I didn't care. About anything. Just a zombie.


I know it was the APs. I don't care what everyone else says it IS the APs. I begged my doctors to take me off them but instead they just changed my meds. I went from risperidone to Olanzapine and finally to Abilify. All the while still feeling this nothingness. (Abilfy I did experience some improvement).


I finally decided to quit taking them altogether and just stick with my anti-depressant. And NOTHING changed... Well not right away.


It's been 5 months since I quit APs altogether and now I feel that I am now back to the person that I was before. A human. With real feelings and emotions. 


So I guess it takes a while for your good ol' brain to shake that shit off. 


So yeah it is a shit experience but at the end of the day, I NEEDED an anti psychotic at the time... it saved me. But it is a bitch of a process.


It will get better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did not care for the way zyprexa made me feel (for me it was mainly extreme sedation and rapid weight loss) but I found that it was very effective in keeping the psychosis at bay.  


The zyprexa is likely out of your system by now, but I suggest you look into "negative symptoms" because it sounds like you have them.  They include anhedonia, poor hygiene, and a flat affect.  


For me, going on the drug wellbutrin has been the only thing to help counteract the negative symptoms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

Yeah, olanzapine does suck some. I put on 30 kg's since I started via a compulsory treatment order. It is not nice to feel railroaded into something and have your personal choices taken away. It upset me mostly as I had been asking for help and didn't feel I needed a compulsory order. So, oh yes can I relate.

At the same time. Olanzapine does stop psychosis for me. I sleep for 12-14 hours a day which sucks. I am not psychotic though and that is good. But at what cost.

Also, olanzapine has a reasonably short half life, so ongoing effects, well I don't know about months. It can be hard to stop and even induce psychosis by stopping sometimes weirdly.... And then there's the freakin insomnia.... Yuk. I am trying to stop atm after being on for 6 years. Has been hard going. I am very pleased to have been stable on half the dose which I will take as a win.

Olanzapine started bad.... Probably took a couple of years for me to acclimate and be able to work (though only part time due to the excessive time spent sleeping and feeling numb.

Sounds like you had a horrid experience.

Antipsychotics do work. Unfortunately they have side effects. Olanzapine is way better for me than Thorazine or seroquel which I was on years ago....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you're struggling.  I have to agree with dianthus and some of the others that it sounds like an ongoing mental illness.  Are you currently seeing a psychiatrist?  If so, you should contact him/her and let them know how you are feeling.


FWIW, Zyprexa brought me out of a 10 year stint of rapid cycling and, I believe, is keeping me stable now.  But meds affect everyone differently.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Content

    • By Adolf
      "Best" as in being effective with fewer side effects. Which ones were the best for you? Which ones did you take? What condition(s) did you treat? What side effects did you get? How did the antipsychotics compare to "conventional" antidepressants?
      Can antipsychotics be an alternative to "conventional" antidepressants? What are the risks? What are the benefits? Do they make you a tomato with time? Psychiatrists prescribe them more often in recent times, it seems.
    • By Simba Cub
      Hi guys!
      So, I've been complaining for a while now of Myoclonic Seizures which my doc tells me is most likely caused thanks to my antipsychotic regime, spanning Clozapine to Trifluoperazine. I get them worse at night, an hour or two after dosing. Why is that?
      Is it because I've just taken my meds?
      Or is it because it's at this point that my meds are on their lowest ebb, not having seeped back into my bloodstream yet?
    • By PurplePaisley
      I was on Olanzapine for about one year and during that time I did excessive spending which may have caused  lowering impulse control and consequently am now in bankruptcy.
      Have been off Olanzapine since December, 2018.
      In March went on Seroquel and experienced manic situations, where I was out of control (never had this happen to me before). I became excessively hostile towards a clerk in Walgreens, reduced my veterinarian to tears and alienated alot of my neighbors by my raging.  We upped the Seroquel thinking I was having my first manic episode, it only made everything worse.  Since coming off of Seroquel in last two weeks, I am now calm and the urge to act out aggressively is gone and I am mortally embarrassed about my behaviors.
      New psych doc now, former one retired.  Started Reluxti two days ago at .5 mg.  First day experienced some brain zaps and thinking it might have been due to the mixing of recently going off of Seroquel and introducing Reluxti.  Today, no brain zaps.  Taking Benadryl to help with insomnia as Rexulti may become stimulating. 
      I know this is a very expensive drug and being on Medicare I do not qualify for any of the manufacturer's savings plans. My new psych doc believes he can keep me on his extra supplies forever or until they go generic.  I am worried about being on this drug and loosing him as a psychiatrist and ending up with a co-pay of $400.00 a month and ending up in the Medicare Donut-hole very quickly. The trial pack he gave me has a 14 day supply.
      I recently did a gene study thru GenOMind.  I am an ultra-rapid metabolizer and subject to many skin issues.  When I first saw him, he became very frustrated with me and didn't believe me that I can't tolerate most of the behavioral meds out there but once he got the gene study, he then understood.  The only drug he would suggest is Rexulti. 
      I am in a quandary as to what to do about going on this very expensive medication with no way of paying for this and getting stuck on this drug should I loose my new psych doc and his many samples.
    • By SheltieUnderdog
      Just an update based on my posts earlier during this year. I ultimately wound up remaining on the oral antipsychotic (Latuda 20mg) which I started taking  after completing my 2nd probation term in this decade in January 2018 stemming from a January 2015 motor vehicle offense which ultimately slammed me with a 3rd degree felony (after already acquiring a misdemeanor for resisting arrest on foot in June 2012) related to having schizoaffective disorder and experiencing manic episodes and hallucinations. I was previously diagnosed with Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features after the 1st incident I was involved in back in June 2012.

      My main issue the entire time I was serving both probation terms was that I was always court ordered by a judge to continue taking the antipsychotics by injection and to continue my psychological treatment. My primary concerns with the antipsychotic medication was always having intolerable akathisia (inability to sit still), tremendous amounts of weight gain (My height is 5'8 with a small to medium frame and my weight maxed out in January 2018 at almost 310lb after being around 155lb until after June 2012, severe gynecomastia (recently won Risperdal / Invega class-action lawsuit), anxiety, depression, and disorganized speech (currently seeing a speech pathologist to suppress language disorder).

      Following the completion of my 2nd probation term, I was initially placed on Latuda 40mg taken with food at night and then tested out Fanapt 6mg. I was still experiencing most of the side-effects and was still outright desperate to eliminate all of the symptoms I just mentioned. By the beginning of March 2018, I did ultimately try consulting with my psychiatrist about switching to a mood-stabilizer as monotherapy acting in place of an antipsychotic and accepted the risk that if I actually suffer from schizoaffective disorder and it wasn't Bipolar 1 With Psychotic Features that I would probably relapse and hallucinate again and I was even in agreement to keep a bottle of antipsychotics as a PRN and to just eat them like crazy if anything happened.

      I discussed everything with him (I never considered him to be a control freak) and he said that he would eventually be willing to try my suggestion but asked me if I had any other idea in mind that involved remaining on an antipsychotic for slightly longer. I suggested to him that I'd be willing to try taking the Latuda at 20mg instead of 40mg before switching to a completely different class of drugs.

      In retrospect, I'm not even completely certain if any of the oral antipsychotics including the higher dosage of Latuda or Fanapt were even that badly tolerated.. Now, I'm not condemning an entire class of drugs because I now support some of the low-dose oral antipsychotics for myself but I ultimately think that my former overall disgust and intolerance for the antipsychotics was because I was only ever taking them when I was either locked up in county jail and the overall quality of the drugs was really bad and primarily because the only time I was ever actually taking them was when I was taking court-ordered injections. That basically explains why my experience with the mental health system always sucked up to that point.

      I'm not trying to speak to highly of myself here but my psychiatrist has always said that he considers me to be one of his higher functioning patients, therefore the reason why he thinks I was always so vocal about all the underlying side effects from the injections and was more sensitive to them than the majority of his patients, even at 260, 280 or 310 pounds, my weight was never really a factor for me in terms of reacting to the meds with less sensitivity.
      It simply didn't matter what injection he would put me on. I was on so many of them including Invega, Aristada, and Invega and they always caused more damage than they did anything positive for me. I always felt like the compromises I had to make to not hallucinate and remain out of legal trouble were simply too much to take. The slow-release form of the injections was always too intense for me but I was honestly being completely forthright when I admitted that I didn't want another episode involving the boys in blue to occur ever again.
      At the time of my last post, my dosage was already reduced to 20mg and I was still complaining on a regular basis about everything I was still feeling but it wasn't until the end of March when the restless / walking on hot sand feeling finally began to subside. My overall appetite decreased enough to where I lost over 50 pounds by the beginning of the summer (since then the weight loss has stopped at around 260lb unfortunately but I have remained generally stable in terms of my weight). I won a class-action lawsuit against Risperdal / Invega in February and my weight became low enough where my plastic surgeon agreed to perform male-breast reduction surgery on me after denying me previously because I became so overweight / obese after I was released from county jail and the results were very successful without needing revision surgery thus far.

      My speech disorder did improve a little but unfortunately wasn't completely going away by the end of the summer. I still felt like I had something like aphasia where I couldn't think of common words or name common objects and the words wouldn't return to my mind until 10 or 20 minutes after the conversation took place. The speech pathologist I eventually saw for this referred me to the audiology department at my local hospital for Central Auditory Processing Testing and it was revealed that I do in fact have a language decoding disorder (my intuition was right all along) which is certainly aggravated by having schizoaffective disorder and maybe even still by the medication.

      I only become somewhat anxiety-ridden and become depressed right after I take the medication with some food, therefore I normally take it right before I go to sleep. By the time I wake up, I am no longer experiencing the anxiety and paranoia but I never become psychotic.
      Still, the most important thing is that I'm no longer experiencing any of that indescribable akathisia and thank god the weight gain reversed before I hit 350 and I no longer have to walk around with female-like breasts anymore.
      This is easily the most balanced I've felt since I developed the mental illness in the beginning of this decade. I'm not a morbidly obese zombie with female-like breasts pacing all day and night with akathisia but I'm also not hallucinating and running away from the local police department during a welfare check or speeding from the state troopers on major highways either. The delusions are still there at certain times except mild enough where I just laugh them off most of the time and don't believe the majority my own deception.
    • By Mistylumos
      First time poster here. I have bipolar 1, diagnosed last year after some horrible psychotic/manic episodes. I was put on lexapro which made me go insane and then put on zyprexa 10 mg which I abruptly stopped (I didnt get that you cant do that) which then again made me go crazy. Right now I am on Rexulti 1.5 mg and Seroquel 37.5 mg (I am tapering the Seroquel slowly to come off of it). I know these are low doses but I tend to be very sensitive to meds. The highest does of seroquel I was on was 300. I am not having any weird psychotic symptoms or manic feelings but am struggling with some depression. I am really unhappy with the weight gain from the antipsychotics. I have gained 10 lbs and from what I read all the APS will put weight on you. I also do not like how tired I feel. When I first started taking them I think the Rexulti was more activating, I actually felt jittery and seemed to be getting more stuff done, but now I just feel lazy and unmotivated. I was curious about trying Lamictal, and I was wondering if it would be possible to take that instead of the Rexulti. The only thing I worry about is I hear it impacts your cognition and I am starting school soon. Has anyone managed Bipolar 1 without a AP? Is it possible to just be on lamictal? I won't try antidepressents again after what happend with the lexapro. 
  • Create New...