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Assuming you must be okay because you're on meds


iaawal
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It just frustrates me. People who think you MUST be okay because you're on meds and look stable. I said to my coworker today who knows I'm bipolar/mood disordered, OCD and psychotic and said 'I feel energized this morning' and her response 'see I told you your meds would start working' and the other day she mentioned 'I'm glad your meds are working.' Like did I tell you they were working? Nope, I have not said they were working. In fact, I don't really talk about my mental state or feelings unless I have to in order to excuse my weirdness at work (which happened once or twice). I just tend to mention why I'm so tired some mornings and nauseous some days. 

 

Like of course I look stable. I always look stable. As long as I'm not severely suicidal to the point of needing hospitalization or rapid cycling like crazy, I look stable! 

 

Also to that coworker, don't compare your on/off relationship stress to my "waves" related to my mood disorder. They're not the same! 

 

I know they mean well sometimes but it still frustrates me. 

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Unless this coworker is a really close friend or someone you report to directly, I think it's completely inappropriate for them to know anything about your meds at all.  My 2 managers know, because I have had to take time off work during bad episodes, but apart from that it's nobody's business.  Can you tell this person that you'd prefer not to discuss this anymore? "Meaning well" doesn't excuse bringing personal information like that into the workplace. It's neither the time nor the place.

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Unless this coworker is a really close friend or someone you report to directly, I think it's completely inappropriate for them to know anything about your meds at all.  My 2 managers know, because I have had to take time off work during bad episodes, but apart from that it's nobody's business.  Can you tell this person that you'd prefer not to discuss this anymore? "Meaning well" doesn't excuse bringing personal information like that into the workplace. It's neither the time nor the place.

 

It's one of my supervisors. I mindlessly told her about it during a hypomanic/cycling phase where I was really excited about everything and oversharing info and told her about my MI while still struggling due to rapid cycling. I regretted it when I came off my episode but now there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like she'd get offended if I said that.  

 

It's my fault really for bringing it up. My boss knows but he never brings it up and is normal about it. 

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That's one of the more horrible things someone can say to me.  The other is "have you taken your meds?".  Both of them make me want to go ...  nuts?  heh.  It sucks that they even mention it to you.  I'm with miab, you should talk to this person and ask them to not mention it. 

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Well, I guess you could try cutting off the conversations when she starts them.  It's not your responsibility to offend or not offend her; it's your responsibility to do your job while you're there.  Next time she says "I told you your meds would start working" (which is highly inappropriate and crosses multiple lines),  I would just say "yes, they are" and either leave the situation physically or move directly on to another topic of conversation.  If she pushes it, I would say "I mean no offence, but I realised that it's not correct to discuss these things at work, and I'd rather that we didn't".

Edited by miab
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That is pretty annoying.  When I'm feeling poorly I tend to hide it well from the world at large, also, so folks assume all is well until I have a meltdown.  I think that Mia's suggestion of changing the subject when she brings your meds up is a really good one.

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