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hopeless

getting admitted tomorrow

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They don't give me anything while I'm conscious...not sure if they insert something while I'm knocked out.

Do these effects last? Should I prepare to crash?

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It was very difficult to concentrate at work, especially with the obvious gaps in memory. It's so depressing :( I feel so helpless. The suicidalness is creeping back in.

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You shouldn't crash after ECT. It gave me a long time of stability.

 

I think you've got a lot on your plate, hopeless. Going through ECT is stressful enough, but working at the same time.. I admire your strength. 

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Yeah. I feel like a fucking failure cuz meds have never worked for me. And ECT is fizzling out.

Maybe I'll ask the doctor for some adderrall to offset the lack of focus and memory loss.

ECT + work + 5 day wedding = ugh

And I'm having trouble scheduling future appointments. Sucha PITA.

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