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"Don't be so hard on yourself"

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Im sick of people saying to me "Don't be so hard on yourself". When IDK what that REALLY means? I googled it ofcourse. It gets extremely annoying.

Edited by happy2beyoung

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when people say it to me, they mean that i'm saying things about myself that are not nice and not very true.  like i might be having a bad day and say "i look so old i don't know why i even bother wearing makeup anymore, who am i kidding?" (okay that's silly but i did say that).  my friend said something very similar to "stop being so hard on yourself", which meant "you do not look as bad as you think you do".

 

does that make more sense at all?  i don't know if the context is the same.

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Generally, people are trying to tell you to stop putting yourself down and ruminating on your faults and shortcomings. 

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I didn't know how to do this (not be hard on myself) without therapy.

The opposite of "being hard on yourself" is self-compassion. Do you know how to show yourself compassion? I had to be taught. If it's not something that you had role modelled for you, or if you have been through an abusive relationship, then you may not know how to do this. So it's okay to need to be taught.

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Yeah, it can be very difficult. People are trying to be compassionate, but it is not easy to "stop being hard on oneself." I also suggest therapy if you have a problem being hard on yourself.

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