Normies are Boring

[njoy]

 Great to find this board. You sound like my kind of people. I'm old but as a black kid in the inner city said to me, once, "Hey, you ain't boring!" Also a retarded kid (also black) I met on the Staten Island Ferry asked me to be his woman (well, I was only 50 then, he might not want me at +60, his loss) and he said, "My mamma won't mind." 

 

So, I know I'm cool, even if I am old and not black. Oh yeah, and Canadian (so what? just deal with it, eh?).

 

My problem (besides Bipolar2, an anxiety disorder, maybe just touch of borderline, definitely ADHD) with a schizophrenic daughter and lots of other crazy relatives is that I've developed "delusional parasitosis" which is fine with me (bring on the risperidone, if it will get rid of these bugs). Of course, being properly nuts, I think I really do have bugs but there's no actual sign of them or they are really, really little so I'm conflicted. It could also be a reaction to extreme anxiety. Whatever.

 

Very, very glad to have found y'all.

[malachite]

Welcome, njoy. I hope you find CB helpful. I must say, I was offended by your used of the word "retarded" because it has consistently been used to describe people with disabilities in a negative way.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hello and Welcome to Crazyboards.

 

If you haven't already done so, please read The Rules in the lower right hand corner of this page.

 

I was also offended by your use of the word "retarded" and hope you won't be using it to describe anyone else anytime soon.

 

Please don't hesitate to contact a staff member if you have any questions or concerns.

[MiaB]

Welcome to CB, njoy. 

 

I'm not sure why it was necessary or relevant to mention both skin colour and "retarded" in your intro - as the others have said, "retarded" is especially not an appreciated word around here.  I hope you settle in and find the forums useful.

 

Mia

[njoy]

Okay, got it. I hope a mod will delete this thread and my membership just to keep things tidy and politically correct. I won't be back so you can all relax. 

[dianthus]

njoy, i hope you reconsider and stay. we typically don't delete members or their posts anyway.

much of the reason we don't tolerate the word "retard/retarded" well is that many of our users are on the autism spectrum and have been saddled with that word for much of their lives, never in a positive way. along with my own issues, i have a child with autism, and it's just a really loaded word for many of us.

though we sort of revel in our political incorrectness and general fuckery, there are a few subtle things in the culture of the site to get used to. we all make mistakes, and i certainly am not going to hold it against you.

welcome, and i hope you settle in here.

[LunaRufina]

Hi njoy.

 

I have autism, and have on more than one occasion had people [on this board actually] after finding that out and have a problem with me, regress to such insults as "retarded [whatever swear you feel like putting in here]". On the other hand, I don't assume everyone is going to understand that the word retarded is most often used offensively, especially if they just don't happen to have a lot of personal exposure to those with learning disorders or disabilities, intellectual disabilities, or any sort of developmental disorder [i'm sure I've forgotten others this can and does inappropriately apply to].

 

I guess what I'm saying is: I can't assume you would know that it would be, as Di says "a loaded word" if no one has told you before, so for me to take offense before even confirming that would be a little silly.

 

But I mean, if i told you that and you went around saying everyone was a retard, then I might go UltraAutieBitch.   Then you'd have to pull out YOUR alter ego Super Hero... I don't know. It might get interesting? We could sell tickets and swag.

I somehow got off track there...

Anyway, I hope you stick around, too.

[mellifluous]

welcome,

 

luna and dianthus' explanations of why "retard(ed)" would be problematic are vastly more insightful on that subject and better composed than anything i have to offer. however, because you mentioned having a schizophrenic daughter and that's also my diagnosis, i thought to share my perspective when others use certain terms associated with schizophrenia in case it gives a different frame of reference. 

 

i oftentimes fail at social decorum due to inappropriate affect and a propensity for not "getting" when a question or statement is (far beyond just here; to MOST other people) considered intrusive, abrasive, or totally insensitive. at the same time, i bristle and fume when i see the terms "schizo" and "psycho", including when used to describe me or another with schizophrenia, when used to describe someone without schizophrenia, AND when applied to behaviours, events, activities, things, films, etc, etc, etc.   to me, they're dismissive, disparaging slurs. the thing is, the only way i know when i'm hurting others is if someone tells me and the only way others can know what i find demeaning is if i tell them. we all have our sticking points and we all have our blind spots. it's not a matter of being "tidy and politically correct" and reducing it to that misses the point. i think it's a matter of:

 

1. being made aware of, so as to be able to be sensitive to, others' struggles and the way those terms promote stigma/prejudice/suffering

2. once made aware, being encouraged to avoid knowingly using pejorative terms for describing people with mental health concerns 

 

i can't expect other people, especially those without my diagnosis or those with the same but a different history/symptom presentation/perspective, to know that i find "schiz(o)" and "psycho" derisive unless i tell them, same as i can't know what, if anything, are the equivalent terms for others unless they inform me (and, personally, that message needs to be direct and explicit as i'm not good with deciphering subtlety or subtext). point being: someone saying x is offensive *can* be taken as an opportunity to learn about and consider others' experiences or it *can* be dismissed, but, it seems to me staying is the untidy thing to do and leaving at the first signs of criticism seems far tidier. 

 

whatever your choice is, if you do return to read this, it might help to know that not everyone makes a smooth/tidy re)entrance. i didn't. still, a bit of criticism in one thread is exactly that: one piece of (however constructive) criticism/information given by a handful of people. i didn't see it said that you couldn't use a term or that you couldn't voice your opinion/experiences, as untidily as you choose. the thing is, though, others get to voice their opinion/experiences as they choose, too. in my observation, there are probably a lot more people here than you might realize who've received some amount of criticism at some point, taken it to heart or ignored it, and remained. 

 

Okay, got it. I hope a mod will delete this thread and my membership just to keep things tidy and politically correct. I won't be back so you can all relax. 

 

sorry to hear about the delusional parasitosis, by the way. it sounds like it does't distress you, for which i'm glad.. i've not endured that myself, but know someone who does. whether you are here or elsewhere, i hope you find the understanding, support, and anything else you seek. take care and, should you opt to return, welcome.

[guest_hamster]

Hello

[ovOidampUle]

So nobody is offended by "normies"? 

 

ETA: ... which is explicitly being used as a disparaging term. 

Edited August 15, 2014 by ovOidampUle

[saveyoursanity]

So nobody is offended by "normies"? 

 

ETA: ... which is explicitly being used as a disparaging term. 

 

Nah, fuck 'em.

[saddest]

I was offended by the (black) stuff tbh.

[Squish]

So nobody is offended by "normies"? 

 

ETA: ... which is explicitly being used as a disparaging term. 

 

It isn't a slur targeted at a marginalized group of society, so I don't find it particularly offensive. And I have friends and family who are "normies"!

Black isn't a slur but I don't really see how it is relevant? Would the OP have mentioned their race if the people in question had been white? It seems a little off.

[LunaRufina]

I was offended by the (black) stuff tbh.

 

I'm a white girl [as seen in my picture], so I don't really feel I can speak to being offended by that.  I feel like that can make me a bit uncomfortable- but for various reasons, some of them actually having to do with the fact that I don't always know how to talk about racial issues. So I would just rather leave the issues that affect specific people to those people [or the people who are personally affected by those issues] to speak to them. *shrug* It's just me, I feel weird and uncomfortable otherwise [and *that* should be dealt with in a different discussion, and often is]- and I might even end up saying something completely ignorant and totally wrong if I try to speak on the behalf of others.

 

That's why I tend to not comment on things that are not outright offensive to the extreme in that sense- I don't feel I know how to talk about it and don't want to speak for others in the wrong way, I'm not sure I am the best person to be explaining.

Edited August 15, 2014 by LunaRufina

[saddest]

I was offended by the (black) stuff tbh.

 

I'm a white girl [as seen in my picture], so I don't really feel I can speak to being offended by that.  I feel like that can make me a bit uncomfortable- but for various reasons, some of them actually having to do with the fact that I don't always know how to talk about racial issues. So I would just rather leave the issues that affect specific people to those people [or the people who are personally affected by those issues] to speak to them. *shrug* It's just me, I feel weird and uncomfortable otherwise- and I might even end up saying something completely ignorant and totally wrong if I try to speak on the behalf of others.

 

That's why I tend to not comment on things that are not outright offensive to the extreme in that sense- I don't feel I know how to talk about it and don't want to speak for others in the wrong way, I'm not sure I am the best person to be explaining.

Totally understandable. And imho it was racialism rather than racism - and therefore condescending rather than insulting.

Disclaimer: purely my own subjective opinion

[ovOidampUle]

You can create slurs for the dominant group -- "crackers" for white people, for instance, isn't too appreciated by white people. Insulting people is always offensive. That's the entire point. 

 

The use of "black" here would be offensive because it implies that the tag "black" tells us something about the individual based on their race -- in this case, that those people were "cool." Assumption: all black people are cool. But it's racist to assume something about an individual based on race. 

 

Not sure about the whole racism / racialism distinction. Even wikipedia offers too many alternatives to make any sense of it. The distinction I would make for people likely to be horrified at being called "racist," is to distinguish between the person and the action. I have often have a racist thought; but I know it's not correct (factually), and I know it isn't helpful to anyone. So after it happens, my brain and I have a little talk. To be a "racist" in my dictionary, is to indulge those thoughts, defend those thoughts, and advocate for a world based on those thoughts. 

 

Another fun CrazyBoard thread about language and oppression! Hoorah!

 

ETA: A hilarious sketch from Sealab 2021 on unnecessarily describing people as black. 

Edited August 15, 2014 by ovOidampUle

[Squish]

Edited because I wrote a big reply and then I hit "post" and it turned into this:
 

ovOidampUle, on 15 Aug 2014 - 6%

I have no idea where "6%" came from, or where everything I wrote went.
 
Er, anyway. 
 
To njoy: I should have said this earlier but welcome! And most of CB is about supporting each other with being mentally interesting and all the crap that comes with it. We're even flippant some of the time too. There is an entire thread of lolcats.
 
Also, I apologize in advance for digressing a bit and responding to ovOid.
 
 
 

You can create slurs for the dominant group -- "crackers" for white people, for instance, isn't too appreciated by white people. Insulting people is always offensive. That's the entire point.

 
I do not speak for all white people (I am but one of millions) but I am not really offended by "cracker". Maybe because I'm Irish and don't live in America and therefore don't really have as much experience with the word as some people? I don't think I've ever been called a cracker, except in jest by another white person.
 
It can be an uncomfortable reminder that people of my race used to own slaves and I still benefit from systemic racism that rigs the game in my favour while dehumanizing and unfairly disadvantaging many many people, I guess? 
 
I think an insult, even a slur created for a dominant group, is not the same and not as "bad" as a slur for a group that has been historically and still is oppressed or discriminated against.
 
One is an insult. The other is an insult that reminds the person being insulted that they are perceived as other or less than by the dominant group in society, and the fact that they are a member of this particular group is sufficient for use as an insult.
 
Personal experience and opinion: Insults based on my gender (female), sexuality (bisexual, technically, but I only date women) or the fact that I am mentally ill hit a whole n'other nerve than "cracker". "Whore" or "bitch", for a couple of examples, are just so, so not ok.
 

Another fun CrazyBoard thread about language and oppression! Hoorah!

It's never not a good time, right? Right???
 

Edited August 15, 2014 by Squish

[ovOidampUle]

 

I think an insult, even a slur created for a dominant group, is not the same and not as "bad" as a slur for a group that has been historically and still is oppressed or discriminated against.

 

I wonder how to evaluate the relative level of badness among racial slurs. "Cracker" is still bad. It's still disparaging someone based on race.

 

BUT I don't think any white person feels worse about themselves for being called "cracker," except perhaps some guilt-wracked white person. That's why minorities are allowed to have pride in their race, but whites are not. The whole pride thing is a way to compensate for the negative messages they get about being minorities.

 

And being called "cracker" isn't a globally threatening phrase, because white people don't worry about being rejected for a job because they are white, or not getting a loan becaue they are white, or, let's not forget, being shot by the police for being white. But an ethnic slur from a majority group triggers all kinds of justifiable anxiety. 

 

And I was actually called a racial slur and didn't even know it. I'd said something in my more insensitve days to a black guy I was working with. He called me a "peckerwood," which I thought was just a word for "jerk," but Wikipedia defines it as

 

 a white person (southerner). The term "Peckerwood," an inversion of "Woodpecker," is used as a pejorative term. This word was coined in the 19th century by Southern blacks to describe poor whites. They considered them loud and troublesome like the bird, and often with red hair like the woodpecker's head plumes.

 

I'm so unthreatened by racial slurs, I didn't even know this one existed.

 

Incidentally, cracker has an interesting entry all its' own.

 

How do you feel about the Irish slurs? I imagine they're not so bad that I can't spell them out (as opposed to the grand pooh-bah of all racial slurs).   

Edited August 16, 2014 by ovOidampUle