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... this site looking for help with an unaffectionate wife.


I've never been diagnosed with any MI, although I've seen my share of therapists starting with a family therapist (as a child) to help "us" deal with a sibling who was a raging bulimic who was also very violent and (later in life) numerous marriage councilors over the last 5 years. -- Don't get me wrong.... I have my issues as do all of us.


I had one therapist tell me, "wow-after that childhood you are surprisingly well adjusted and turned out great", which he and I both attribute to the kindness and nurturing of my middle sister who is 7 years older.  For her I am thankful.


See y'all in the relationship forum.


Thnx for having me -






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Welcome to Crazyboards.  I'm glad you found us, but I will point out that we are a site for Mentally Interesting people, and all of the mods and admins are also Mentally Interesting.  If you feel that you need to be here, maybe you do have some form of MI.  But we are a bit leery of people who come around and don't have the same illnesses that we have.


Don't be afraid to contact a staff person if you have any questions.



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I guess I misjudged this site.  


from my perusal it looked like I could find some good folks to use as a sounding board for what I'm experiencing and have been experiencing for years with my wife.


I'm at the end of my rope - and have tried counseling, changing my behavior, trying to communicate (changing the way I communicate).  She just is cold and bitchy all the time.  And when I put my hands on her she pushes me away and says I'm groping her and all I think about is sex.  She points out that we have sex a lot, but I can't get her to understand it isn't just a numbers thing - it's a quality thing about being into me.


I'm a walking contradiction:  I'm an ex Marine and while sort of brutish on the outside, I'm incredibly loving and crave affection just as much as I love giving it.  She is cold and not affectionate.  


The way I've been coping is by just directing my energy to my outdoor pursuits; running, kayaking, lifting weights, hiking, etc.  But that doesn't satiate my need for affection.


I feel she could care less if I'm connected to her, as long as I continue to earn and provide and be a good father.  So, I feel like a meal ticket and father to the kids.  But not like I have a loving wife.  She has a history of taking advantage of me financially.


I won't drone on too much - it doesn't look like I've found the right quorum for this feedback.


I wish y'all the best and I'll keep looking




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