Aurora Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Just trying to figure out how to live life. I've checked out the website in the past and am finally back and signed up. I'm not an expert at writing in forums and am still trying to learn shortcuts used here (looking at glossary pages for help). I'm 45 and have had (major depression) MDD since I was a teenager. I've taken many different medications over the years and have tried many different types of therapy. Sometimes things work a little for awhile, sometimes they never work, sometimes they have horrible side effects and so far, the meds that did work only worked until I built up tolerances to them. I'm on the merry go round again looking for a new med or combo that will work. I'm a single mom and have a full time job and have to get something to work so I can be a good mother and support us. I am glad this website is here to learn from and I hope I can help someone with my experiences over the years. Thanks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hello and welcome! Sounds to me like you've really ridden the med merry-go-round. You're in good company here. I'm glad you found us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessamine Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hi and welcome to CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Welcome to Crazyboards. I hope we can offer you some support and information. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saddest Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hi and welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Hello and Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiaB Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Welcome! Please don't hesitate to contact one of the staff members if we can help with any questions you have about using CB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 Thanks so much for making me feel welcome. I was worried I was outside of everything here looking in. I was hoping to join the conversations, but wasn't sure if I would be intruding. Everyone seems to know each other pretty well and knows the rules of how to put info here. I'm sure I will make some mistakes when posting or something, so please just let me know so I can learn from them. I've been reading the new member stuff and maybe missed it, but do you know where I can go to make changes to my profile? I'm using my iPhone/ipad. Do I have to be on a PC to do that? Also, is there a place where we can list our diagnosis, meds tried and reactions, meds currently on, etc. to help people know what experiences, help we might be able to offer and so others can know me a little better and maybe offer help if they have similar experiences? One more thing I wondered, I did a search for my username to see if a google search of my username would lead someone to this board. I wanted to put a pic on my profile, but I'm worried someone from the outside might search my username, see my profile pic and put two and two together. Mostly I'm worried about anyone at work seeing it. I'm hanging by a thread at work right now and am extremely stressed about it. I have times when I do a great job at work and they love me, then I have times where I am a loser and can't get out of bed. I'm doing FMLA to try and work reduced hours until I get new meds figured out. I'm probably being paranoid, but I don't want to take any chances on losing my job because of my mental illness. Have any of you had someone find you on these boards that you didn't want to? Sorry for the long post, I just haven't been able to discuss much about my illness with anyone who understands over the years, and it's a relief to have a place like this. I just want to feel safe here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 My user name comes up in Google with my posts on here. Dummy me, I should have used a totally different user name than I normally do. There are others with the same user name out there, so with no pic, I should be ok. Can I change my user name though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninetynine Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Welcome to CB. I hope you'll find what you need here. I'm sure you can change your name here. The admins should be able to help you with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 If you want your name changed you'll have to PM one of the admins (myself, sylvan, VelvetElvis, Dianthus, Wooster) what you'd like your new name to be. I can tell you how to make changes in your profile, too. Do you use the mobile skin, or the full site? Because I don't think that it's possible from the mobile skin. For the full site you go to the top-right corner and you'll see your name. Click on that. Then My Profile on the dropdown menu (top choice on the left). The page that it takes you to has an Edit My Profile button on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 We are all about privacy here, so go ahead and send your new user name to one of the admins listed by WinterRosie, and they will get that straightened out. You can list your diagnosis and meds either in your profile, or in your signature---or both, actually. If you want to ask a question that you don't want to have out on the boards, don't be afraid to send a private message to any of the mods or admins. It's a little confusing to land in a big place like this, and we all were a bit lost when we first joined. Hang in there. You will make friends here and it will help you in a lot of different ways. Plus, we're fun and crazee. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Hi WinterRosie, I sent a PM to you (at least I think I figured out how to do it). ;-) Thanks in advance for your help! Hi Olga, I love that you used fun and crazee in the same sentence and reminded me that being crazy can be fun sometimes and it's not always a negative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anastasias.mirror Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Just trying to figure out how to live life. I've checked out the website in the past and am finally back and signed up. I'm not an expert at writing in forums and am still trying to learn shortcuts used here (looking at glossary pages for help). I'm 45 and have had (major depression) MDD since I was a teenager. I've taken many different medications over the years and have tried many different types of therapy. Sometimes things work a little for awhile, sometimes they never work, sometimes they have horrible side effects and so far, the meds that did work only worked until I built up tolerances to them. I'm on the merry go round again looking for a new med or combo that will work. I'm a single mom and have a full time job and have to get something to work so I can be a good mother and support us. I am glad this website is here to learn from and I hope I can help someone with my experiences over the years. Thanks... darn. I also suffer from depression.. I had higher hopes for meds.. I have been on several that didn't work, and the only one that seemed to (Effexor) had TERRIBLE comedowns when I ran out so I thought I would taper off. I have since been very depressed though also simultaneously going through a breakup (we're back together for now) .. now off of it for over 2 months I still find myself very depressed most days so I was hoping to find another that has less of a comedown if i miss an appt. with my pdoc. I hope I find one that works again! GRRR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurora Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Hi anastasias.mirror, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with depression. It sounds like we have some similar experiences. I used Effexor for awhile too and it was awful when I stopped using it. It didn't work too well when I did use it. I've had MDD since I was a teenager, but I went through a divorce about two years ago (after an up an down relationship that was very mentally abusive for nearly ten years - I finally got the courage up to leave for my son's sake especially). Last year in May I found out I had a rare form of Anal Cancer and I went through major chemo and radiation for quite a few months for that. I'm still dealing with the after affects of the treatment, but it seems to have gotten rid of the cancer so I'm happy about that. Now, I'm in my own house but its a fixer upper (I'm still trying to get the kitchen fixed so I have a countertop and a sink with water again). And the house is a total mess and just overwhelming. I have mail that is piled up from during my cancer treatment until now and I haven't opened it. I have medical bills that have been sent to collections. It's all so overwhelming and on top of that I have horrible guilt because I have a ten year old son who lives in this mess with me. I have him full time. I am so depressed right now that I am not sure what to do. I haven't been to work in two weeks and have barely talked to them. I have a great job and am totally screwing it up. I'm hoping to get into my pdoc tomorrow or soon to get FMLA paperwork filled out an turned in to try and save my job. I've been taking Brintellix and I don't think it's working. I've been taking Vyvanse 40 mgs too but it's not doing much either. I've been in bed pretty much 24 hours a day for the past two weeks. I'm in bed now looking at the two feet of trash and dirty clothes and crap around the bed. It's like a sea of crap and my bed is the boat. When I'm asleep, I don't have to deal with stuff. I'm going to change meds probably as soon as I see my pdoc, but I am running out of meds to try. I am thinking about trying Wellbutrin again (tried it a few years ago but don't remember that it worked but I think I was taking other things and never took very much Wellbutrin. So, we will see what happens. I just hate that every change of medication is another three weeks it more to find out if it will even work. I can't afford to lose my job and I can't afford to stay on FMLA since we don't get paid. Anyway, didn't mean to be such a downer, but I share your frustrations with treatment options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anastasias.mirror Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 wow, you sound like you are going through a lot. i have depression too and sometimes i try to sleep all day but i have two issues with that my back hurts too much when i lay down.. and the people that read my mind go crazy about it. they do not like me not being mobile. i hate getting on new meds too. i am not even on any right now. i have tried every anti depressant anyway. the only one i think i might try again is welbuten because it helped before without the side effects from going off of them, only thing is last time i went on it i was having hypo mania for the first few weeks or so. i was going all around the neighborhood, buying clothes i normally would never consider, and i was even singing songs that i MADE UP to strangers!!! the hypo mania was fun but the thing is I am a recovering alcoholic so i am mostly afraid if i get like that i will def drink again. so maybe a very low dose.. not sure yet.. I wish you lots of luck with everything. i hope you get to keep your job. and don't worry too much about the mess yet.. wait till you are feeling better. your 10 y/o probably doesn't even care!! (you should have seen my room when i was ten!) c ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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