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tongimong

What to do when you can't even pick up the phone?

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I've never heard of anyone having this problem before.  I have what I'll call 'phone phobia.'  I have an extremely difficult time calling people and especially calling people I do not know.

 

I've been in the dumps for about a month now.  I've seen my primary doc and he's advised that I see a therapist again (I had seen one in the past, but she died last year).  The problem is I'm terrified of making the call to someone and can't even bring myself to pick up the phone.  I'm too ashamed to ask anyone to make the call for me.  Right now, walking into a hospital and telling them I want to kill myself seems like a better option than picking up the phone.  

 

I'm not suicidal, by the way.  I wish I would die, but I don't intend to take my own life.  My partner doesn't really understand depression and just wants to know why i'm so sad so we can fix it.  When I tell him that I don't know what the problem is and that it's depression, he tells me that makes no sense and leaves the room.  I'd ask him to make the call for me, but I can't bring myself to talk about it with him.  I feel so alone right now.

 

I feel like i'm just rambling.  Any insights would be appreciated.

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First of all, you're not alone. A lot of people have phone-phobia around here, including me. Making calls is extremely difficult. Can you email a prospective therapist? I find email to be easier for me, I don't know if you do. Having someone else make a call for you, while difficult, is definitely something to consider as well. Let me know if you need anything. I think getting a therapist at this point is a very good move from what you've said.

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Also, when I am having trouble making calls, I sometimes call to leave a voicemail when I know the person won't be around, like late at night. It helps to have a script written down.

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I agree with the email if possible, but if you can't find one, to ask someone to call for you.

 

With email you can write at your own pace, edit your thoughts if need be, etc.

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I hate making live phone calls (though I've gotten better now that I work for a call center where I caption live phone calls every day).  

 

Also, when I am having trouble making calls, I sometimes call to leave a voicemail when I know the person won't be around, like late at night.

 

I find this helps me a lot too. Especially with doctors offices. Just know that if they don't return your call within a few days, you'll need to follow up with another phone call and/or voice mail. They tend to get buried...

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Oh man, I hate phone calls.

I call my doctors before they open and ask for a time, a specific one and then when they call back I don't pick up, then they send a text and I reply to that. I hate it so much that I do it. I just wish they would implement an email system.

 

Once I even sent my doctors a letter, by post asking for an appointment. 

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I used to have phone phobia, but then my secretarial jobs forced me to use the phone so much that I got over it. Very slowly though. It took years. It's not uncommon at all, I think it's just a manifestation of social phobia. There's a woman I work with who has to make all her adult daughter's phone calls (sometimes having to pretend to be her daughter) because her daughter has phone phobia.

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Another phone phobe here. I hate hate hate HATE talking on the phone. I put off appointments for months in part because I cannot make myself pick up the phone. Even calling my Mum is an ordeal and I don't do it nearly as much as I should. When I do I will often walk around with the phone for about half an hour before I dial, then it takes everything I have not to hang it up once it starts ringing and I know who's picking up at the other end!

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Looks like most people here hate phones :)

 

I sure do hate them.  I never pick up the phone.   Rarely call anyone unless I have to, or if it is someone I know very well.

 

You can walk in to a clinic and tell them face to face-- that shouldn't be a problem.  Hope you feel better.

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