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My 15 y.o has ADHD/Asperger's/Bipolar. I am taking my older son to the pdoc this week for anxiety. Now my daughter, 12, is complaining of social anxiety. She actually googled it herself to see what was wrong with her. I guess I should just bite the bullet and take her too, but I just feel like I did something wrong. My husband has OCD, I have Bipolar. Really, all 3 kids have to have something? I thought there would be at least one without a MI. Not too much to ask...I guess they prob will recommend  therapy but she prob won't talk, she didn't before when she went to therapy, because she freezes up. My two sons and I go the pdoc anyway this week, might as well bring it up and see what he says.

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Well, if it makes you feel better (which it probably doesn't but).... I had terrible social anxiety around age 12, but I grew out of it.  Ended up getting a college degree in communications and was president of my sorority in college.  So it's not the end of the world.  She may just be going through a phase.

 

Good for you for getting help for your kids though.  That will most certainly help them overcome whatever is ailing them.  

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I commiserate.  I have BPII, DH has refusing-to-get-diagnosed ADHD, both kids have ADHD and one is also ASD.  Too many letters in one family.  Hope that you can get something that works for your daughter.

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I wonder if social anxiety at 12 might mean "Jr. High School," if she just started that. I'm not trying to belittle her anxiety, I was pretty anxious when I was scared of being beaten up constantly in Jr. High, and a I had a small, tight group of friends who looked out for each others' back. Although I probably had my first hypomania in 9th grade.

 

My mom and dad are both mentally ill (don't tell them), with 4 kids. Me: BP, GAD and migraines (thanks, Dad); Sister1: Narcissistic beyond words. I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis, but I think what I think; Sister2: Bulimia (now over-exercising), and periods of treated anxiety; Sister3: Really bad SAD, she collapses in the fall.

 

I'm struggling the most, but we are all happy (barring MI-related unhappiness), and leading good lives.

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She's been in a bad mood for a few weeks, maybe part of it is Jr. High (second year) but she's always been shy. She says that the other girls are prettier than her. :( I had to force her to go to her best friend's birthday party.

 

I can't talk to anyone about having kids with MI's because with one you can say, "Oh yeah, well it happens", but 2 or 3 kids with MI"s and people tend to think you are medicating your kids so you don't have to deal with them.

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I have two little boys 7 and 5 and I already see signs of mental illness. The 7 year old probably has ADHD and the little guy looks like he might have some OCD, he's been a skin picker and nail biter for years and once he gets a thought in his head he can't get it out. You're a good mom with bad genes.

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FWIW, social anxiety has responded better to medication than anything else I've been diagnosed with.  I've done some pretty intense CBT for it, but a low dose of pretty much any of the SSRIs gets rid of the worst of it.

Here's what you need to watch out for:  booze works wonders.  If social anxiety truly is the problem, it's important that she learn how to be social sober before she gets it into her head that the only way she can have fun around people is to drink.  I'm still unlearning that one.

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just because your kids have MI does not mean you did anything wrong. if anything it suggests MI are heavily influenced by biology and genetics (obviously environmental plays a big part but it doesn't mean that it was a certain thing you did or do that made your children MI). supporting them is the most important thing and taking their concerns seriously even if it is just anxiety related to a natural part of growing up. it doesn't sound like you are looking for things wrong with them - your daughter came to you. a doctor's assessment can help figure out what's going on there. if it's nothing then at least she knows you were understanding and there for her when she needed it.

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Thanks, all. Yeah, definitely bad genes. I am no stranger to the crazy so one person's normal certainly isn't mine. My house would seem crazy (you know, 'cause it is) to a non-crazy bystander but it's our normal. My daughter has always been a very quiet and shy person so I am keeping an eye on it for now. She says that she would rather homeschool than deal with kids at her school, but I feel like she wouldn't socialize at all then. And we work anyway so she would have no one to help her. 

 

Fortunately, we don't drink and don't have alcohol in the house so she would have to get it from an outside source. I know kids are young these days with getting alcohol and drugs, it's something I watch for. Not far from our house, I have heard from a few people that heroin is cheap and accessible. So sad.

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Verified: me with BPD and AHDH, my mother with PTSD, my brother with depression/autism/social anxiety, granddad with AsPD, nephew with ADHD and drug dependency

Unverified: anger management issues (aunt), compulsions/obsessions (sister), BPD-like traits with my mum (self-esteem issues, fear of rejection, self-harm), father with autism and depression (both really run in his family). Other side of the family is emotional as fuck.

 

On the other hand, I have some family members who really don't seem to have a MI at all. Plus, almost no-one smokers and no-one has alcohol problems, as far as I am aware.

 

I do think most of us in the family are a bit fucked up due to life experiences and some bad genes, yeah. I don't blame my parents for my genes, though I do kinda blame my father for my BPD but that's another story.

 

How are things now, wj74?

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