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dragonfly23

So I am depressed, why do I gravitate towards depressants

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Question : I have had depression issues since highschool. Did lots of drugs to fix my head, but always without fail gravitated towards depressants. Didn't even like coke (that was easiest to get). As an adult I

"Treated" my depression with depressants. Anybody know the science behind this? Seems odd, and I am worried that my issues with AD meds may be my continued use of depressants.

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Depressants 'depress' the activity of (parts of) the nervous system.

 

They don't necessarily cause psychiatric depression, though they can have all sorts of mood effects depending on the person, the specific substance, and other factors.

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So if I understand and apply what your saying, it is a form of self medicating based on effect, that may cause a depressed feeling but not cause clinical depression.

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I believe that is what Lexie is saying. Depressants, like alcohol or other drugs in that mix, cause central nervous system depression, which is physical. Drugs and MI aren't a good mix. I used to do depressants, and they made me feel better. I used to be into drugs. It didn't help my MI, but a depressant drugs effect is different than clinical depression. 

 

I hope you are able to get some peace, that your mood goes up.

 

Oh, I had a doctor ask "Have you ever done cocaine?" "Once" and then he went on about how EVERYONE loves cocaine. Not me! Not you.  Drug from hell. 

 

I hope this helps. Best wishes.

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Thanks San, it does help. I am trying to rationalize a behavior:-). If I drink or take opiates I feel better, at that time, but my clinical depression worsens. I am sorta stuck on a merry go round, but am very tired and trying to get off.

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I drink because i get insane euphoria in the beginning but this is easily outweighed but the shame and guilt the following days till next i drink

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Memo, me too, I actually feel good. I just ignore the shame and guilt. I don't want bad consequences to force me to stop, I wanna get ahead of it. No narco's in weeks, so little by little. It's funny though they are in a drawer I know where they are, in no way would I get rid of them..............baby steps. At least they are are not calling my name.

I also won't toss the vodka.

Argggg

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Same to you Memo........drank last night, sigh, not a good morning. I really think its funny that I pretend I don't feel like this the next day, all for a few hours of happiness.

Starting over........

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Same here. I've had a ton of problems self medicating with depressants (and stimulants, and you-name-it, but mostly depressants). There are a couple of reasons, and different classes have different benefits for depression. Alcohol blocks some of your ability to think, meaning you can feel a bit more carefree and not dwell as much. There is a slight amount of euphoria when drinking, which means it can be a bit of an antidepressant (in the psychological sense, not in the CNS sense). It's like people say - they drink to help them forget. 

 

Benzos are fairly obvious - they are exceptional at stopping anxiety, and most depressed people also have a lot of anxiety. There is a little bit of euphoria with them, too, at least initially if you take enough. But just quelling anxiety is enough to make most depressed people feel much better. 

 

Opiates are actually the most effective antidepressants we know of, short term. People who absolutely do not respond to any other antidepressants will sometimes be given Suboxone or other opiates if it's the right doctor. The problem with opiates is that, while they do make you feel wonderful when you first start taking them, you build a tolerance and become dependent on them just to feel normal (as in, the way you felt before without taking anything). They are very euphoric in the beginning, which leads to people abusing them. And after you build a tolerance and dependence, they will start making the depression worse. 

 

I don't know about things like barbiturates. They just make me go to sleep - which is nice, but I just sleep. I've never taken them and stayed awake. I've also never really researched them. 

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I have "treated" my depression with alcohol, hydrocodone and xanax for years. Worked for me. It was a very measured use, not abusive. I didn't use to get high, only for relief from depression. I was fine with this. It allowed me to function, but left me withdrawn, filled with rage, and I think I believed I functioned better than I actually did. (This was pointed out to me). I was still void of emotion or desire, just could deal better. Maybe it just made me comfortable not caring about shit.

Well I have begun looking for the right SSRI, to be honest I think they make me worse.

I had two weeks without a drink and two weeks four days with no hydrocodone, key word is had.

This current SSRI is making me much worse , in a given 24 hours I go from feeling fantastic, to so anxious I think I am gonna snap my teeth off in my mouth, to the depths of sobbing despair. I am exhausted. My xanax use is up to reduce the anxiety and to let me sleep instead of sob.

My husband thinks he has to babysit me.

I am terrified I will end up in patient, almost went last night to the ER.

Maybe not the best choice, but I will return to my self medication for now. I took the SSRI as well, as I am trying to follow doctors orders and will try to get in to see him ASAP. I also think its time find a new doc, I can't just keep willy nilly trying a new SSRI every couple of months, my transition from one drug to another has be horrid, and I do require a babysitter.

Feeling fucked up :-(

Edited by dragonfly23

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