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Perhaps this is an overshare, my apologies.

God does indeed have a warped sense of humor. I am finally stable enough to start dating again. Many hellish years, 13 hospitalizations, etc. No boyfriend in more years than I care to admit. Now I am stable on Effexor, Zonegran, Zyprexa, Klonopin, thyroid hormone. It's been 3 years, and I'm working and living on my own.

At first I totally lost my sex drive. I lost it so much, I didn't really even notice that I had lost it, so didn't miss it. And was so greatful to be stable I didn't care. But I've added l-tyrosine for ADD, and gotten some of my sex drive back. But I still feel pretty dead below the waist.

On my last anti-depressant, parnate, I had no problems. I was always wet. I was always ready. (Unfortunately, I had no boyfriend). Now, I am as dry as can be. And it takes me the longest time to come when I masterbate. It is really hard. And not very good. 

So now I am dating again. And not about to jump into bed, but I can think how I'd like to spend my New Year's. What can I do? Do I try ginko? Yohibimine? Are they safe? Ask my doctor for viagra? She'll probably not give it to me unless I try without first. But I just don't want the first time after so long, and the first time with a new guy, to be bad. I just don't.

I wish I could go back on the parnate. It stopped working for me, unfortunately.

I hate this choice. Sanity or sex. I'm tempted to buy viagra off the internet. It seems safer than the herbal alternatives.

Thanks for any feedback.

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Honestly, I'm being totally honest, I have always been not sexually hyper, like no nympho disorder or something, but just into it. Paxil really whacked down my interest and my ability to have orgasms. I wasn't sensitive.

My GP mentioned to me how dumb it is that our drugs make us deader than a fish out of water, but it is when we are down that we need sex/closeness/hot adventures of the personal kind :)

But again, in total honesty, my sex drive and ability to have sex was helped by hypnosis (which I discuss a lot in the Other Stuff That Helps thread). In short, hypnosis is not what it is in the movies, and I swear by it! My sexual self has rebounded quite a bit.

I got down to only 10mg on the Paxil and one day just noticed taht things were doing well down there! I had sex on the brain and my boyfriend was very enthused about it!

Since you want to have sex but lack the start of the physical response, you could buy some water-based lube like Wet or Astroglide or something, my boyfriend and I like them. Maybe really pay attention to foreplay!

Don't think of how long it has been or whatever. You're with yourself, and that IS (In my opinion!) a form of "safe sex"! At least we know where we've been!

Be safe, and have a New Year with a BANG!!!

the loon ;)

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I can only give you my limited personal experience, but here goes...

I was on Effexor for about 15 years. I can't speak to any effects of the other meds you're on. Well, that is other than thyroid meds, which I've taken for decades -- and which I doubt have any negative effect in this department. Anyway, when I got to a therapeutic level of Effexor, I did get the negative sexual side effects, mainly having a difficult time in achieving orgasm. 

Anyway, bottom line (so to speak  ;) ), I finally got into a long-term relationship with someone who was patient and understanding. That helped a lot. And with experimentation with positions, we found a couple that seemed to really help as well. I guess what I'm saying is that, even though we know there are sexual side effects to these meds (and again I can only speak of my Effexor experience), I think a lot of it also has to do with what else is going on with you, your feelings about your partner, etc. If you find someone who is loving and caring, that goes a long way.

Oh, yeah...after I started that relationship, for a while I used Yohibimine. I guess it worked. It helped, but then after a while I tried sex without Yohibimine and I found it made no difference. But by that time, my boyfriend and I had already gotten into a good "groove" so to speak. So, difficult to say if Yohibimine works. I guess it's worth a try, but only if you don't have to worry about increased heart rate, etc.

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