sonicwhite Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) I get a spike....a question that I fully can never be sure of. Am I dead and at some refining judgment.....Did I die back in 05 from a drug overdose......Has this been all a test? I go off a remind myself that yes I am dead and sitting, standing walking before God......That no one here an prove to me I'm still living the same life I was born into.....I accept that I am dead and that's how I push thru the anxiety and guilt I feel. Edited September 28, 2014 by sonicwhite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iaawal Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Don't know how to respond. Just letting you know I'm reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 Hey sonic, having seen you on CB over time, this is what you start to sound like when you are getting more symptomatic. Can you check in with your care team to get some more support from them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted September 28, 2014 Author Share Posted September 28, 2014 Hey sonic, having seen you on CB over time, this is what you start to sound like when you are getting more symptomatic. Can you check in with your care team to get some more support from them? I'm good wooster rooster........just a little glitch.....I believe in prayer and I prayed and feel like I got a lot off my chest to the Higher Power I believe in.......In case your still worried I see my doc in a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 When you see your pdoc in a week, make sure to tell him/her what you told us here. Sometimes when I go to the pdoc and he asks me how I am, I might say "fine," because at that moment I am fine. I don't think about what happened days before I saw him last (good days or bad). Maybe you can take notes or print this post to help remind you what you were thinking, even if it was a glitch and you are feeling better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted September 29, 2014 Author Share Posted September 29, 2014 When you see your pdoc in a week, make sure to tell him/her what you told us here. Sometimes when I go to the pdoc and he asks me how I am, I might say "fine," because at that moment I am fine. I don't think about what happened days before I saw him last (good days or bad). Maybe you can take notes or print this post to help remind you what you were thinking, even if it was a glitch and you are feeling better now. I will tell him that I have noticed that the distressing thoughts kinda are harder to dismiss than before........Klonopin has been losing it's punch but, I hate benzo's and I don't want anymore or try a different one but, if it gets to that point I will have no other choice.........I don't ruminate at all. The thought just grips for a second and it's like before I wouldn't even allow it to go that far.....Oh well i haven't really been bothered by any since praying so I guess for now I shouldn't worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Light Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I'm not sure on whats going on with you - but praying is'nt that reinforcing the OCD thoughts? I'm just usually careful with reinforcing OCD thoughts and OCD it'self - If i need to pray i'll do it because i want and need to not because OCD is saying i need to and its a good idea at the time! - just imo / shrug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 I pray on all levels and no this isn't reinforcing because I'm not repeating "please God forgive me prayers" just asking God to see me thru my hardships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Well def going to talk to the doc about this.....Klonopin is failing to do it's job and the intrusive thoughts just keep sticking......I try to not brush it off and forget the nagging pure o question but that just reminds me more of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 UGH this FN disorder.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.