I can't stop grieving

[koali777]

I'm posting this here because 1. For some reason it won't let me post on the grief section, and 2. Since no one actually died, I don't know if it'd belong there. But I lost a friend, in a way. We went from spending every moment, almost literally, together...to her going off to college and I won't see her for a very long time. We are still friends, sure, but to go from talking in person all the time to never talking at all, even through texts...it's hard on me. She was there for me when I had my psychotic break and took me to appointments and told me I was safe because I was with her. I bonded with her in an intense way because I was so lost and broken. I also have abandonment issues...

Anyway, I can't stop being upset about it. She's been gone a month, and of course I had horrid sadness and anxiety as the date approached, but still there's been time. And it hasn't gotten better. I wake up in the middle of the night panicking about it, I'm sad when I wake up, everything reminds me of when she was always here for me, right by my side. I cry all the time. I can't stop obsessing. And I feel stupid. It's not like she's dead. I probably look lame to someone who has actually lost someone to death. But this woman, she was my rock and comfort and best friend, and now I feel so alone. I don't know how to make it stop hurting. I want it to. I'm tired of this hell I go through every day, and knowing I'm pathetic.

Edited September 29, 2014 by koali777

[CeremonyNewOrder]

I can relate. My best friend sometimes completely disappears and ignores my texts. It always hurts me when it happens.

[koali777]

I don't know why they do that. Makes it feel like it's so easy for them to be without us. That's how I feel at least.