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Is that what this is? I do all these things: 

 

  • Talk in simile and metaphor a lot, because I tend to think in a kind of big-picture brain burst that's partly song lyrics or snatches of conversation, and it's hard for me to break that down into steps for another person.
  • Talk over-elaborately. I tend to meander and go off on damn tangents all the time unless someone keeps directing me. 
  • Use words oddly, or in ways they weren't meant to be used. Make compound words or verbs out of things that weren't meant for those purposes.
  • Make weird word substitutions, with or without realizing it. For example, I sometimes have days where I "banana" everything. I'm not sure why. It's just that instead of the word I want, banana will sometimes be there and I will say it, expecting it to convey meaning. I do this when I thought block as well, but that's more conscious. 

I'm having trouble communicating with my therapist, and I realized that maybe this is part of the problem. I use simile and metaphor extensively, and when I'm having trouble finding words, or thought blocking is an issue, it can begin to seem like she and I are not having the same talk. It doesn't help that I have a ridiculous vocabulary and invest myself in being able to choose the right word, whether it's one everyone knows or not. So I'm trying, in my roundabout way, to explain one thing, but because my brain functions half in metaphor and musical meanings, she is having to interpret things I say, and interpreting them in her own way inside her own brain. This might be helping to cause the slight disparity between what I say and what she responds, which has been a source of some frustration in an otherwise good therapeutic relationship. 

 

Is this what they mean by weird speech? And if it is, is there a workaround for it, beyond teaching myself to think and talk all over again? This feels pretty fundamental to my perspective and hardwired thought patterns, and I might have some success at trying to learn new strategies, but I might also fail abysmally. Both outcomes feel equally plausible. 

 

Thanks, as always. I realize I'm posting a lot lately. 

Edited by Mim
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Don't worry about posting a lot! We are here for you. It's ok.

I can relate. I make up words or use them in different ways that are funny or make sense to only me.

I don't get metaphors though. I can't decipher the meanings. Like when people say things like "don't throw rocks if you live in a glass house". Wtf! What does that even mean!? I'm not sure if I even said it right. Ugh.

And I agree that it can cause huge communication problems. Like with your tdoc or other docs.

Oh another thing I remrmbered is I can't tell stories. I start but get lost of confused or go blank with no thoughts stolen from me. It makes it hard to socialize. I usually let other people talk. Ugh. It's embarassing to me.

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I know this sounds kind of odd, but do you have access to a speech language pathologist (SLP)?

 

Not a lot of them are versed in helping people with MI increase their ability to communicate so as to be understood, but I have heard of people getting help organizing thoughts and getting some strategies to manage word substitution/salad kinds of things.

 

Pdoc or tdoc might be able to help you find one. Your insurance company also might be able to help you find one, and can tell you if you need a referral or pre-authorization for that service.

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I agree with Wooster. My psychologist said I had "very disorganized speech" and "what seemed like disorganized thinking", as during assessment I couldn't express myself or get what I wanted to say out of my head. I even told her a few times, "I know what I want to say to you, but I can't get the words out" She also suggested a speech language pathologist, to help me "organize my thoughts as to be able to express them more clearly". I'm not sure that's the same, but maybe it would help you to see a SLP too? Just a thought.

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I agree with Wooster. My psychologist said I had "very disorganized speech" and "what seemed like disorganized thinking", as during assessment I couldn't express myself or get what I wanted to say out of my head. I even told her a few times, "I know what I want to say to you, but I can't get the words out" She also suggested a speech language pathologist, to help me "organize my thoughts as to be able to express them more clearly". I'm not sure that's the same, but maybe it would help you to see a SLP too? Just a thought.

 

I could have written that (in bold).  It is like the words are stuck.  It is so frustrating!

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Thank you for the help and commiseration , everyone. You all rock.

Cheese, thank you for your support and encouragement. I have trouble telling stories, too. It definitely holds me back in conversation. It can be a bummer, can't it?

Woo, I had not even thought of a SLP. I wonder if that's something I could talk about with my pdoc. It's a great idea, thank you. I wrote it down to ask her at our next appointment.

Minion and Melissa, I have that problem sometimes, but usually only when I'm pretty depersonalized. I do, however, tend to get chopped off in the middle of what I'm saying. It's very frustrating, especially since my family seems to find it funny.

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Mim, you aren't posting too much. You're contributing to the CB community, and none of your posts are out of line or anything. So don't ever feel bad!

 

I do a lot of what you say you say. When I type, I correct myself a lot to make it more readable, I suppose. I can read back when I write and change things. But I blurt things out. I talk in rhyme sometimes. I've got nailed with the "disorganized speech" label quite a few times. 

 

We can't dx, but this could be something to bring up with a pdoc or tdoc. You could even print what you wrote and bring it in, it makes a lot of sense, and could be helpful for your docs.

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Mim, you aren't posting too much. You're contributing to the CB community, and none of your posts are out of line or anything. So don't ever feel bad!

 

I do a lot of what you say you say. When I type, I correct myself a lot to make it more readable, I suppose. I can read back when I write and change things. But I blurt things out. I talk in rhyme sometimes. I've got nailed with the "disorganized speech" label quite a few times. 

 

We can't dx, but this could be something to bring up with a pdoc or tdoc. You could even print what you wrote and bring it in, it makes a lot of sense, and could be helpful for your docs.

 

Whoops; I didn't think about the diagnosis aspect. It's just that I, too, have been slapped with the "disorganized speech" and "disorganized thinking" labels, so it occurred to me that it could be why I'm not making forward progress with my tdoc. It didn't occur to me that that looks rather like fishing, heh. My apology.  

 

Thanks, also, for this: 

 

Mim, you aren't posting too much. You're contributing to the CB community, and none of your posts are out of line or anything. So don't ever feel bad!

 

I get cut off and overrun a lot offline because I talk in tangents. I'm aware that I talk way too much sometimes, and I'm constantly worrying that online, where I'm free, free to type with impunity, I go on too much. That's why my blog is mostly whining, haha. 

 

Like you said, I do better online. I can go back over what I write, and change or edit it as needed. The overly elaborate sentences get broken up, and without the pressure of an ongoing conversation, which I must join quickly or be left out of entirely, I convey meaning a lot better (I feel like, at least). But I do blurt things out, sometimes running things together without thinking. At lunch a few days ago, I was making fun of the muzak over the speakers, and then without a pause I made a comment on something my brother had just said. Everyone at the table thought it was hilarious. I've been listening to fax machine jokes since then. In all fairness, once I realized what they were talking about, I was also laughing. But I do that sort of shit a lot. Even while I'm talking, I'm half in my brain like I'm also watching myself converse, in a way. 

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