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I'm having trouble stopping watching pornography on the Internet and its really affecting my life. It's hurting my marriage and causing sexual dysfunction. I was wondering if there was any specific help for this kind of thing. I've downloaded a couple apps and looked at a few sites but there seems to be little specific to pornography as opposed to general sex addiction.

My being bipolar isn't helping but this is really an area of my life that I feel if I can fix this things will go better for me especially in my marriage.

And no comments about it being harmless as it has harmed my ability to have normal sexual intimacy with my wife so to me that line of thought is B.S.

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You are right. This not a good thing for you or your wife. I can relate in many ways, but every person's situation is different. Site and apps are not the deal. This is a thing that you have to deal with face to face. Not you and your wife but you and your obsession. Addiction maybe so. But being there I can say there are a lot of things that can make what you are feeling be something that is you feeling neglected or unable to give seem like a lot more. I am ashamed of watching porn more than I should. And watching some in a healthy relationship with your wife is OK. But the thing for me is , are using it as a substitute for  your relationship with your wife? Or is the fact that you do watch porn make you feel so guilty that you can't face making love to your wife? No judgment here. But the harder you are on yourself (if this isn't really what you want) the more impossible it will be to let you be in a place to make it right in your marriage. Give yourself and your wife a break. This is all my humble opinion and I am no medical, shrink person at all. Just a guy who is in and out of where you are. I'll try to stop back. Sometimes it's hard to be here. No judgment here.

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Would it be possible for you to clear it all off your hard drive and then use parental controls and blocking options in your browser to stop you from getting more? If your wife had the password and you didn't, how easily could you hack around that?

 

You're right that it can really affect a relationship, for sure. 

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Now I'm going to tell you what gave me victory. I am a Christian. I am a male with no wife. I felt a great conviction not to look at porn because I love God. There has to be a motivator in your life. You have to see how porn destroys the mind......it makes unrealistic outlook on sex. You wanting to save your marriage is a great motivator and you coming here asking for help tells me your serious about this. Many here will disagree with my POV but porn really is destructive. I think about all the women with no light in their eyes because they feel guilty of how deep they went into it. Their feelings matter to me. The men well I know what their thinking and they could care less whether the woman isn't really into it. The men just want sex and to me porn as taken a even darker turn with how young these girls are and how they come up with title's and so forth. Just try to imagine that a lot of these girls go into it not thinking and after a few years realize that probably most men have seen them naked. Just try abstain by giving your wife the love she deserves. I know it's a tough battle but you can have victory.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Parental controls are a waste of time, they're too easy to get round. You could try moving your computer into a more public area I suppose, get your wife to change the password on your actual computer so you can only use it when she's there.

 

Without wanting to get too specific for the masses, could this be down to the type of porn you're watching? Are you fantasizing about unattainable scenarios? I'm not expecting an answer, just something to think about. Everyone needs a little vanilla sometimes.

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Well, I have turned on parental controls but they're easy to get around so they're not as effective as they should be.

I have talked to my therapist but so far haven't made much headway.

Cutting the power cord into itty bitty pieces will keep you off for a while, assuming you don't have a spare. That's a bit like the alcoholic cutting up his credit and debit cards, though. Do you have any idea what is at the root of the problem?
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