I regret not dropping this tdoc after the 2nd session. There are great therapists and terrible ones....just because they have a PhD and experience, doesn't make them brilliant or amazing. Who's on your bad therapist list? The patronizing, blaming, insensitive ones? Or ones that don't listen, understand, or communicate clearly? They make assumptions, judgements, no clue.
I kept my cool, dignity and respect, despite getting shut down with an earful of patronizing comments (obviously trying to trigger me or chase me out of the clinic, one of the two). Invalid assumptions about me, none of which resonated at all, not true to my experience and dude left me no space to interject. Simply expressing disagreement with him means I'm "oppositional" Hmm. OK.
2nd session was told I have a "lack of commitment and effort" toward my mental health. How insulting, great. Are you f&cking kidding me? 20 years of therapy, loads of self-help, discipline, hospitalizations, med compliant, healthy lifestyle. I've DONE a lot of work. Stuck with all therapists consistently. I keep going and continue to try. WHY ELSE WOULD I PAY AND COME SEE YOU 6 TIMES?
The reply....."(gives exaggerated sigh) Obviously, you've never had any therapists that have challenged you before, they probably let you talk... this is why you haven't recovered. I'm experienced, LOADS of my clients fully recover in 3-6 months" How presumptuous, you know nothing of my previous therapists or me yet, maybe I'm not like "all your clients." 🙄
[Edit : Endnote] The session ended on a most dis-empowering note. He said (with a pity look in eyes) "Maybe you won't and can't get any better, or change, maybe you should give up, you shouldn't even try...." I have never in my life had a therapist encourage me to give up and not try.
In fact, that comment is exactly what pushes a vulnerable client AWAY from seeking help. A client like me, who has struggled with decades of hopelessness. Thanks for nothing insensitive asshat.
Many ways to lose a therapy client. End of Rant.
I wonder if I have too high expectations, am jaded or a hopeless case. But I've only had 1 Therapist in 20+ years of regular therapy that I felt was pretty decent, who helped me progress & feel better (and I've seen at least 15).
Beyond obvious traits like: good listener, observant, empathetic, caring, dedicated, positive, clear communicator, transparent, proactive, validating, non-judgemental, intelligent (and someone who simply just understands & "gets" you.) Nobody's perfect, but..
What other traits, qualities, behaviors make a great therapist? Have you ever had one that totally meets your criteria? I am so sick of settling and trying to find someone who can really help me. I give everyone like 4-5 session trial at least. Maybe I just need to quit altogether, go at it alone and try harder to help myself 😢
I had to switch to a different medical insurance policy this year, and it only covers a dozen therapy appointments per year. Before that, my old insurance had a deductible and covered 90% after, Plus an annual out-of-pocket maximum, so it was essentially “unlimited” therapy sessions. I’ve been seeing my therapist weekly for 3 years and it’s really important for me. Most of the time, that is the only day I leave the house. (Psychiatrist is once a month.) Anyway, now I can’t afford to pay for weekly sessions. Not sure what to do. ?
My new therapist recommended another therapist that deals with PTSD and other issues. PTSD because of loss of many family members. I mentioned to her that I can't recall many memories from my past, let alone a few weeks ago like general conversations. I can't even remember the first time holding either of my daughters. My parents fought a lot when I was younger. I know that it happened, even physical fighting, but can't remember in detail. Willing to pay whatever the cost to find out why I am the way that I am including taking expensive Latuda.
Has anyone had a breakthrough with dealing with their bipolar and depression? Anyone ever get some answers from a professional? I'm worried that if I don't tackle these issues now, how can I be a better parent, a better person or even consider marriage? My boyfriend thankfully is very supportive, but doesn't live with me. I'm tired of the days that I wish my life was over when I am truly blessed or times that I feel my life has slipped on by without any progress.
Have any of you have had a longterm therapist becoming less & less available? I feel like she is subtly trying to get rid of me... I've seen her for a year & a half (for a long time was every week, and lately every 2 weeks and she was flexible). And now, seems I can only get in every 4-5 weeks...
I chose her because I can walk to her office in 5 mins and she accepts low price/sliding scale. It's fine as a sounding board, But honestly, its not helping me, I'm avoiding trying to find someone else, because it's so difficult to find someone that you connect with where it doesn't take 40+ minutes out of your day to travel there...I'm not severely depressed, just the same anhedonia, no motivation, interest and general unhappiness/dissatisfaction no matter what I try or do.
Just thinking out loud.. How long would you keep seeing a therapist if you genuinely like the person (and feel comfortable) but after a year, never leave with any insights really..she simply doesn't do CBT or behavioral therapy, only talk (well, it's mainly me talking the entire time and her asking a few hypothetical questions to think about at the end.) Out of the many therapists I've had, all of them have been underwhelming and usually expensive. I feel like quitting because after all these years I seem to be getting very little out of it :-(