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Hi again, folks.

 

As the topic title suggests, I started taking Abilify about two weeks ago and I'm worried that I might be having hallucinations. I've had them once before, during a mixed episode (that's what I'm calling it, at least--we don't really know what happened) that wound up landing me in a psych ward. Those were all simple visual hallucinations (distortions and color changes in objects, objects appearing to be things they're not, I saw rain when there wasn't really rain, etc), and I remember feeling very overwhelmed by them, dissociative, unsure if they were real and kind of scared.

 

Abilify seems to be working very well for me, and for the past two weeks I've been (as far as I can tell) stable. Like, I've barely had any depressed thoughts and no suicidal ideation, which is amazing. I don't think I've had long stretches like this since before the onset of bipolar, about six years ago. Some of the thoughts associated with these possible hallucinations make me worry that I could be on an upswing, but at the same time, I feel so much more self-aware and less wound up than I usually do when I'm entering a hypomanic state. This is one of the first times I've considered the possibility that I could be approaching hypomania before it got really obvious.

 

Anyway, I'll stop babbling and talk about the actual hallucinations. I saw the first about a week after I started taking Abilify, and it was corporeal: a huge Siamese cat out of the corner of my eye. When I looked, I saw its face for a moment, and then it vanished. The next day I had a short, simple hallucination (a glass doorknob growing and shrinking), and then they stopped for a while. Does this resemble others' experiences with hallucinations, or do you think I'm just majorly overreacting to tricks of the light?

 

The next one is way less concerning to me because I wasn't fully sober, but last night I went out to smoke a bowl, and while I was packing it I saw a slug. I watched him while I was packing the bowl, he was slowly creeping across the street, but I stopped paying attention once I started smoking. And when I looked back he was gone! I saw his slimy slug trail, which makes me think he must have been real, but where the hell did he go? I looked all over, there is nowhere he could have gone. But, of course, I was kind of stoned. I don't think I would be worried about this were it not for the cat, which I saw again this morning--also out of the corner of my eye, running away.

 

I know these (possible) hallucinations aren't real, even when they're happening, and in truth I find them kind of exciting...Like, is the cat my own personal Hobbes? It's just an odd thing and I look forward to seeing what's going to happen next, if anything. But last night I found myself thinking about how *maybe* I'm magical and the universe is sending animal messengers my way to inform me of my powers!!!! Then I thought, gee, that's sort of grandiose and ridiculous, isn't it?

 

It's so weird because I guess I'm having symptoms of hypomania but with full awareness that it's happening, full awareness that the things I think are not rational, and full awareness that the odd things I'm experiencing are not real. Does that mean I'm okay? I'm seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and I know I have to tell him, but I really don't want to go off Abilify. Other than this weirdness, it's been working so well--I feel the best I have in a long time.

Edited by flowerburgers
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You are on such a tiny dose of abilify. Plus smoking probably isn't helping.

How do you know it's the abilify causing the possible maybe hallucinations?

I would talk to your pdoc. Abilify has helped my mood a lot too. It also helps my psychosis somewhat too.

No one here can tell you whether or not you are having real hallucinations. Or whether abilify is causing some weirdness.

Can you call your pdoc if you don't see him/her soon? I would try that and go from there. I hope you get this sorted out soon!

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Hmmmm I have just started Abilify (about 3 weeks ago now) and I have not had any hallucinations..... that said I have been a little more forgetful and the symptoms for me getting on to it were pretty bad (anxiety/paranoia/delusions).... I am very med sensitive unfortunately...

 

Coulda been MJ I reckon....

 

Wait with Abilify and see how you go..... that's been my experience for what it is worth...

 

x

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