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How to know when to take self to ER


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Yeah. Topic title basically explains it. I haven't been well in months and it seems to just be getting worse and worse. Suicidal thoughts almost always in my head... to the point now they're in my day AND night dreams. Right now I feel dizzy and I can't think straight. I feel like I can't function.

 

But I can't tell if I'm just making things up to myself. 

 

I don't know. 

 

I have to work tonight. I've already called in sick 6 times since Mid september. 

 

All I can think about is wanting to be locked away, so to speak, so I know I can't do anything bad. I don't have a step by step plan, per se, but it's all I can think about.

 

My thoughts have been racing ever since I woke up basically. I don't have bipolar, but this is almost what I'd think a manic episode would feel like. 

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I just realized I have not only a tdoc appointment but also a pdoc appointment tomorrow. I probably should try and stick it out until then and talk to them about what's going on.

 

But I'm supposed to work today. I work in a fucking call center where all I have is time to overthink things and let my mind race. Which it's already doing.

 

But I've called in 6 times in the past 3 weeks ish. I only have 10 days to call in before I'm fired. 

 

To call in today would be day 7.

 

My days reset in March.

 

Idk what to do.

 

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I ended up telling a good friend/mentor about it and calling in sick to work. She took me along with while she and her mom went shopping, then we went for dinner. Just enough to get me out of the house. Helped a bit. 

 

Being out with friends, no matter how bad I feel usually helps a little.

 

But to answer your question, here are my signs that I need to go:

  • suicidal, with a plan and intent (they will hospitalize you for less but this is when I feel an urgent need for help)
  • cognitive inability to function (at the lowest of my lows I can't even read childrens' books because my brain is that far gone)
  • psychosis that is noticeably affecting my life (I thought I was a divine messenger)

Never hesitate to go if you really feel unsafe. It's better to get help than to suffer and put yourself at risk. Your job should understand but then again I was fired for my MI (indirectly; it was affecting my performance, which then got me fired). Best of luck to you, and message me if you need anything. Take care.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah. Topic title basically explains it. I haven't been well in months and it seems to just be getting worse and worse. Suicidal thoughts almost always in my head... to the point now they're in my day AND night dreams. Right now I feel dizzy and I can't think straight. I feel like I can't function.

 

But I can't tell if I'm just making things up to myself. 

 

All I can think about is wanting to be locked away, so to speak, so I know I can't do anything bad. I don't have a step by step plan, per se, but it's all I can think about.

 

My thoughts have been racing ever since I woke up basically. I don't have bipolar, but this is almost what I'd think a manic episode would feel like. 

 

 

I don't think you're making anything up.  The suicidal thoughts you're talking of are suicidal ideations.  You want to die, but don't have a concrete plan or realistically thinking about implementing it.

 

I know how scary it can be - I have them a lot.  But locking yourself up won't make them go away unless that lock up results in better medication.

 

You say you don't have bipolar, but your signature mentions hypomania.  The thing with that is -- it can lead to drastic, non-thought-out action.

 

I think you should call your pdoc.  There are meds that can help the racing thoughts and make it less likely that you'd do anything without thinking it through.  The fact that you don't have a plan is a safety guard though.

 

Ideations/wanting to die comes first, then the plan, and only then the intent to implement the plan.  IMO, it's when you start getting into the intent part that you need to go to the hospital.

 

If you do have some type of Bipolar, the prozac isn't good for you to be on. It's a catalyst for hypomania.  Wellbutrin is more bipolar-friendly.

 

Based on a very good friend of mine who gets in a similar state and has a similar dx... I'd advise making an emergency call to your pdoc and asking to stop the prozac and add Lithium (it's basically a salt - not as scary as it sounds).  The Wellbutrin will continue to help the depression, and if the prozac is creating this state, stopping it and adding Lithium will stop it very quickly and well.

 

And if I'm wrong?... well, with being suicidal, the prozac isn't exactly helping anyway... and Lithium can be used successfully for non-bipolar depression to stop suicidal ideations.  (I'm non-bipolar and adding Lithium to my AD did indeed stop the ideations)  Lithium works best with BP, but it seems to be rather good in general... aka, it won't hurt.

 

Feel free to copy what I said and give it to your doc.  If I'm misunderstanding what you're saying and wrong, they'll know.  No harm done.  I do think it's valid enough to bring up though.  You're obviously worried.

 

Of course if anything changes and you feel like a danger to yourself, to to the ER.  You can only get help if you're alive.

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