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I doubt anyone remembers me but I made some blog posts and forum posts a month or 2 ago about my snorting focalin and doing benzedrex inhalers along with other addictions and unsuccessful meds. Well, since then I've just stopped thinking of my mental disorders as concrete things and just consider myself bipolar NOS because it's easier. I got the whole motherload of schizoid adhd paranoid sometimes manic depressive disharmoniushellride. But after almost locking myself in to a rehab during the interview, they gave me a tour and it was just like the crisis unit, thorazine zombies and one flew over the cuckoos nest atmosphere. So after refusing to sign the final release saying I changed my mind for about 3 hours a bunch of women tried to put me on an involuntary status even though I wasn't a danger to anyone, they were just mad because I knew more about their jobs and craft than they do, they even kept calling me a condescending egotist saying that's a valid excuse to lock me up. Well, I contained my anger and started to be humble saying I didn't think I was smart. So they tried to lock me in saying I was suicidally depressed because I was self depricating. After that whole shitfest I left and went home. Since then I've pretty much kicked the benzedrex, kicked the opiates mostly, take less klonopin, and have a stable med routine


focalin 10mg 2x/day (I still take a few extra of these :S)

buspar 15mg as needed (prescribed today, the 5ht1a agonism is a fucking blessing)

seroquel 300mg at night (I only take it when I have really bad insomnia)

clonidine .3 mg as needed


aaanddd I ditched the lexapro because SSRIs are mostly evergreening scams, plus I don't need any serotonin altering to that extent, I did a couple of DXM binges (not to trip, because I take dxm once a month to reset tolerance because its an NMDA antagonist and it also works as an antidepressant)


Also finally have a new hobby, I've been reading up on numerology and witchcraft and shit, which also helps me mentally.

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If you are taking too much focalin, your pdoc needs to know that, preferably tomorrow.


Do you realize that all meds go through the brand name/generic/slightly different brand name mill in every, single, class. of medication? Now that you know every class of meds uses "evergreening" techniques, are you going to quit all your other meds?


Does your pdoc know you "ditched" the SSRI?


Are you trying to get well, or do you just enjoy playing with psychiatric meds?


Unpack all the medication over-generalizations, and decide if you want to be under treatment, or try to cure yourself with wicca, as if you knew what you are doing.


You can do both, but if you think Wicca, or "witchcraft" or whatever you call it. is an answer in and of itself, be prepared for a bumpy ride.

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glad I read this post, there is a vast metaphysical world you ccan read up on, I have gone threough similar stages in life some not so good where curiosity had me do some stupid shit, I don't think you are there or anything, wouldn't know that much...I overcome some iatrogenic stuff with the Kybalion for some knowing stuff, confirms something of the power of the herd with things like this....

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Just so you guys know, this is a pro-treatment, pro-med site.  You might find a better response to the anti big-pharma slant somewhere else.  Although Astral, it sounds like you enjoy feeling like a special snowflake who is swimming upstream.  


There are so many people on this site who would tell you that psychotropic meds have saved their lives.    


You should be careful about painting with a broad brush.  


It is fine to be interested in wicca or metaphysics, but I personally agree with crtclms that that sort of explanation alone is not enough to explain or treat mental health symptoms most of the time.

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