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Hi, just trying this thing to see if it's going to work.

 

The urge is really strong - right now. I'm reading the posts, trying to find something else to keep my mind off of it but nothing's working. So I'm posting this instead. No SI while I'm busy typing and I'm hoping I can make the urge go as I share this on the forum.

 

I look at what I've done yesterday and feel guilty and shamed but want to add to it.. isn't that ironic.

 

I'm new here but this place seems to be so supportive, I hope I can contribute to all the help I've seen from the members on here.

 

Breathing.. 

 

Really not confident I'll make it through this evening without giving in to it..

Edited by MneCDB
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Good for you foe resisting! I know it is really hard. The fact that you tried to resist is a good thing. I agree with keeping the hands busy. One thing I found that was strangely helpful when I first started to quit was instead of cutting I would take a pen and write everything that I felt about myself where I would normally cut. Sometimes it was just nasty things I felt about myself, other times it was paragraphs. For whatever reason that seemed to help me a lot, especially because in the shower it would wash off and I would be left with a new slate.  

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I just counted... 125 new ones in 3 days. Fuck.

 

I never cut that much before, when I wasn't even aware of what I was doing.

 

I'll try these tips I see everywhere on the net, about rubber bands and ice. The only thing I can think of that's nice about all that right now is that I never ever felt the need to go deep.

 

I don't know why I'm able to post about that here on the forum. In a very similar context earlier I was asked a question about that and I completely froze, unable to answer. Well, I'll keep communicating here as long as it's not a problem. It seems to be the only place I'm able to talk about it. And I know talking keeps me from over-indulging.

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I'm glad you're distracting yourself... I'm not sure what else to say to distract you, nor do I really have any advice.

 

Stay strong, you're doing well delaying it... I watch netflix a lot... sometimes I just go for a car ride, is that possible?  Like, go get some chicken or just ride around and go some place peaceful, roll the windows down, play some music... you don't even have to get out of the car.  I do that when I get really upset.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey, haven't been posting in a while because I was ashamed of having failed at resisting and was cutting a lot everyday..

 

Now I've got one day without SH! Trying to go for 2. I'll go to sleep in a few hours, if I make it I'll have 2 days done!

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