anyone else obsessed about getting enough sleep?

[daisymama]

Hello everyone.  Just wondering if anyone else out there has to make every appointment for the afternoon or night because they constantly worry about it.  Sometimes it used to be, if I had to get up at 11:00 a.m. I thought, "Oh shit, I'll have to get up around 9:30 a.m. and I'll be really tired if I can't fall asleep quickly-- or do fall asleep quickly and am still really tired--because I have to do my hair (somewhat), make-up, and the general "getting ready".

 

For years now I have been nervous about , "what if I'm tired tomorrow?" When I have to go somewhere?? I don't get nervous if I know I'm staying home.  It's gotten to the point where noon appointments made me nervous now 1p.m. makes me nervous.  I feel better if its 2:00 p.m. or later.  I've cancelled appointments because when I got up in the morning I felt too exhausted and just made up an excuse.  I am sick of kind of being afraid of mornings...I remember as a kid I used to like getting up early and watch cartoons or play.

 

I had an operation on my wrist where they had to remove one bone and fuse 4 other bones together.....I am really angry about this and get all riled up if I talk about it because I have arthritis now and it really f'ing hurts.  I'm nervous that I'll never be the same again.  I used to do yoga and pilates and I can't do a lot of the exercises or poses (forget about downward dog).....then I remind myself that people go through way tougher things than me (cancer, amputation, burns) then I feel really shitty.   I so f'ing mad at myself, at my injury, at being obsessed....there isn't a forum for anger but I wish there was. 

 

I guess I'm obsessed about the amount of motion I've lost forever in my wrist.  I want to stop but I can't.  Whenever I try to rationalize it, it just comes back. I feel so fucking mixed up lately that I can't fall asleep because I can't stop thinking.....sometimes I wish I could sleep all day and when other people around me are hyper or just have more energy I get annoyed.....I know its a shitty thing to do...but I'm just being honest.

Any one struggling with similar things??? 

[Exuvia]

I get sooooo anxious about wake-up times. I've had insomnia for half my life (Im 23) and when it's been really bad I've had depersonalization/derealization, hallucinations, vision loss aand physical illness. Oh and severe pain. Oh, the pain. Not to mention... y'know fatigue. I have a chronic health problem that causes me pain and makes my other symptoms worse too. I just quit my job, but I had to wake up at 8:00 everyday for it which was awful and I would worry about falling asleep from the time I got home from work. If I had to go in early, I would have anxiety as soon as I heard about it until the actual day I had to go in early. Like you, I prefer appointments after 2. Even 12 and 1 are sketchy. If it's at 2 I can relax.

 

I'm also worried about being out too late and not being able to fall asleep for a long time after I get home (it takes hours of quiet time before I'll fall asleep.... on a good day)

 

That's really shitty about your wrist. I don't care if it's not amputated, if you can't use it for half the stuff you want it for and it causes you pain that's pretty impairing. It sucks to not be able to do the stuff you love, especially stuff that was good for you. If you won't throw yourself a pity party, I will.

[Sync]

I do this. Better since I got on meds. If I screw up my sleep I'll be freaking out all day about how I'm not as smart as I should be, or not as functional. Like I'm wasting time, which is a weirdly big fear of mine. Lots of my obsessions are about not getting the most out of my time. I still start flipping out if I get less than 8 hours, even by small increments like 15 minutes or whatever. 

 

I also push back appointments until the afternoon. Sometimes on my days off I sleep way too long because I wake up and am struck by the fear that I didn't get enough sleep even though I don't feel tired, and so I make myself go back to sleep. Repeat until most of my day is gone. 

 

Ain't OCD grand?

[shesellsseashells]

I worry about not getting enough sleep, too.  If I can't fall asleep at night I tend to stay up and worry about how tired I'll be the next day with no sleep.  I've recently gone back to work so I HAVE to get up by a certain time now and that worries me to no end.  I don't function well on little sleep any more.

 

Sorry to hear about your wrist.

[Wonderful.Cheese]

Yes I can relate to the obsessive rumination patterns that you experience. I'm sorry. It sounds like you are suffering a great deal. OCD is not fun at all.

I have to make sure I get I to bed around 7 or so so I can get a good 13 hours of sleep. Dang seroquel! But I also have mild sleep apnea and that is currently untreated.

Anyway, are you seeing a pdoc or tdoc for this? Meds and therapy can really help. I hope you feel better soon.

[rowan77]

I used to get myself into an awful state about not being able to sleep when I had to be up early. The more I worried that I wouldn't get enough sleep the more likely it was that I wouldn't sleep. A vicious circle

 

This happened a lot when I had to be up at 6:15. I actually would almost become panic stricken thinking I wouldn't get enough sleep.

 

I had to travel an hour to get to work which made me more stressed. I still get a bit worried about not being able to sleep etc, but nowhere near as bad as it used to be

 

I just realised that this is the OCD forum. I don't have OCD but this related to me so that's why I replied

[melissaw72]

I really worry about getting enough sleep because if I don't, the hallucinations (mainly auditory) come back with a vengeance and I can't stand it.  Or I start to become hypo/manic. 

[Mimosa]

daisymama,

 

I can't believe how similar my thinking is to yours! My solution has been to rid my life of all commitments.

I need to have at least 16 hours in bed every night in case it takes me that long to fall asleep. I can only decide to do

things the day of...once I'm up and know I'm rested enough to do them. I've gotten up later and later over the years...

now it's 4 or 5 pm. I've lost relationships and even casual acquaintances are hard to maintain because

I can never plan ahead. I wouldn't recommend my "solution" to anyone -- since my life is so empty. 

 

On the rare occasions that I can't avoid scheduling ahead of time, I begin worrying about it the minute

I make the appointment (and even then, it has to be "the latest in the day possible.") I'll literally dread an

appointment for months in advance, all because I worry about not being able to sleep the night before.

 

I haven't expressed it as articulately as you, daisymama -- but my main thought in life is "what if I don't sleep

enough the night before." Behavioral therapists would probably encourage me to stay up all night and face the

sleep-deprivation. But guess what? I've done that countless times...and my experience the next day has 

been so hellish that it reinforced the fear more than ever.

 

 

 

[Wooster]

Behavioral therapist might also encourage you to set a regular bed time and a regular get out of bed time and stick to it, no matter what, for a period of several weeks to see if you can re-set your body clock.

[Mimosa]

Wooster,

 

I'm sure you're right! I've struggled for decades to normalize

my hours. Sticking to it "no matter what" is like withdrawing

from the worst drug addiction! I have no faith left in my body clock's

ability to be reset. My hours are unbelievably dysfunctional at this point.

[Wooster]

Oh ye of little faith.

 

 

Sticking to it no matter what definitely sucks major major major ass.

 

The more dysfunctional you let your hours get the harder it is to reign them back in. You might try starting with just any regular schedule then nudging the times a little at a time.

[Mimosa]

Thanks, Wooster. I remember how I used to be...40 years ago...when I could schedule commitments for early morning

and not even think about them the night before. How could I ever have been so functional?!! Actually, this whole thing started with major OCD

night time checking rituals (I had to make everything right before I could sleep). 

 

I notice you have a dog (she's beautiful). My dream has always been to have a pet...and the only reason I can't do it is because

I worry that the responsibility would keep me awake. I need to know I have at least 16 uninterrupted hours to sleep -- and it wouldn't be

fair to the dog to ignore her all that time. Plus, I can't sleep with anyone (including a dog) in my room...or in the house, actually.

I need complete isolation and freedom from responsibility to be able to sleep. 

 

I'll consider your suggestions. I'm on Zoloft, and it may have a sedative effect on me. I seem to need more sleep than I used to

(after staying up all night, I can literally sleep 23 hours the next day). Obviously, that throws off my schedule even more.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I agree with Woo; working with a therapist to set a sleep schedule is the best thing you can do for yourself.

 

I used to freak about how much sleep I was getting per night, no matter if it was "enough" or not.  Now I go to sleep by 9 every night and am up by 7 every morning.  Once you get used to a schedule, its very comforting.  I think knowing that you have it under control with a sleep schedule will definitely reduce the amount of time you spend ruminating about it.

[Mimosa]

Thank you, Phoenix! I'll give it serious thought.

[Motoko]

I obsess about different things at night.  If there's a personal situation that's bothering me, I won't be able to stop turning it over and over in my head.  If there isn't anything in my life to ruminate about, my mind will generate fictional scenarios for me to ruminate on, always stressful situations with not necessarily good outcomes.  I also obsess about my breathing.  I get periodic mild shortness of breath and when it happens, I sit up because it helps.  Now when it happens, I get a stress reaction and get panicky about the whole thing and start to obsess on my breathing and how it is, which makes my breathing even worse.  I have to sit up to sleep a lot of the time.  Interestingly, after I've been asleep sitting up for a few hours, I can go back to bed and sleep just fine.  It's just getting to sleep that's the problem.  And then I start obsessing about how I'm losing sleep and how that disaffects the bipolar stuff and blah blah blah.  Fortunately I'm not working at the moment so I can sleep really late if I need to to catch up, but it gives me a weird schedule that makes life hard sometimes.

Edited December 10, 2014 by Motoko

[carlossong]

daisymama,

 

I haven't expressed it as articulately as you, daisymama -- but my main thought in life is "what if I don't sleep

enough the night before." Behavioral therapists would probably encourage me to stay up all night and face the

sleep-deprivation. But guess what? I've done that countless times...and my experience the next day has 

been so hellish that it reinforced the fear more than ever.

hey I didn't know this was OCD. That's why this needs to be treated asap. Research some good meds for your OCD. something that its side effects u can tolerate.

u can't live life like this worrying all the time and getting stressed out over an appointment. For many years I was like this. Until I read here, I thought it was my schizoaffective that caused this.

I thought that having OCD was an advantage in school u know? people say that OCD helps in school because u are more driven to succeed. I think they were wrong. There are more bad things about it.

I tried different meds for OCD. Have u tried lexapro? it has less side effects.

[Mimosa]

Thanks, carlossong. Maybe it is schizoaffective...it doesn't really seem like OCD to me. I haven't tried Lexapro, thank you for the suggestion.

I agree with you -- OCD is more of a handicap than an advantage. Good luck to you!

[tibbycat]

Yes to most of this, i miss a time when it didn't bother me, when a 10am appointment was not a worry. It started when i was 19, since i have become obsessed. I book all my appointments no earlier than 2.30pm, i am hoping they just think i am someone who works mornings, i don't know what to do i start postgrad school in Sept and want to get a job as soon as possible, but im thinking evening and night work.

Edited January 2, 2015 by tibbycat