yarnandcats Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 so. *whispering* there's this opportunity for a possible tdoc (if i say it too loud) (might jinx it) *"normal" Voices* i emailed her after seeing an advert in a local coffee shop she's new to the area and looking for clients she just emailed me the intake paperwork to be filled out and brought in at first meeting/appt *cue HUGE STRESS AND ANXIETY* the info she wants is a bit staggering i still DO NOT understand why a tdoc needs to know my medical history for the past five years and about all my knee surgeries ? this tdoc sees folks at her home office she is not affiliated with any clinic/mental health center here (except to the extent) (necessary for billing and oversight) i only want talk therapy i'm a bit freaked by most of the questions last tdoc (for those that remember) had major boundary issues and had been "consulting" my gdoc WITHOUT my consent as i later found out via my gdoc so no more of that am i just being paranoid? am i shooting myself in the foot? i don't even know what this lady looks like acts like feels like (to my gut) but i'm supposed to fork over all this confidential info? she gonna do the same for me? (didn't think so) oh, and i've been tdoc/therapy-free since st. patty's day this yr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 What if you went in saying "I'm not comfortable disclosing this much information without your telling me why you're asking" and maybe your first meeting could be filling it out together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 (edited) yeah that is a possibility and We did think of that initially i just feel like i'll already be set up to be seen as "mentally diseased" by asking for accomodation(s) has happened before does that make sense? internalized hate of not being straight is called "internalized homophobia" so what's the complementary term for internalized MI hatred/discomfort/whtvr? that is a good suggestion thanks, rosie Edited October 13, 2014 by yarnandcats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I think it's internalized stigmatization. It's completely reasonable to say "I had a previous care provider do things without my consent (like go to my gdoc) and as a result I've VERY careful what information I give out. Because that way it's easier to see what you've learned from me and what you've picked up from someone else." I think that any care provider would understand that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I would ask her why she needs to know certain information (maybe there is a reason that would make sense, but you might not realize it). If she gives a good reason that you agree with, then you can give her the info. But if you don't feel the information is not needed/not comfortable giving it, tell her why and see what she says. Then go from there kind of. Maybe you aren't a good match, or maybe you are, but you won't know without asking questions. (I hope I worded that right ... having a hard time thinking today). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 13, 2014 Author Share Posted October 13, 2014 rosie sometimes i don't feel completely reasonable about anything so the fact that you said that makes me feel hopeful thanks! and thanks, melissa you're right that i won't know until i ask and maybe i'm just being a wuss about the asking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonfly23 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Yarn. I just started seeing my first Tdoc. I had prewarned her I was very shattered and wasn't sure who she would meet. I was fresh from IP. I filled out the forms as best as I could at the time. Imo your working with her should not depend on how well you fill out the forms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 and thanks, melissa you're right that i won't know until i ask and maybe i'm just being a wuss about the asking? No, you aren't a wuss for asking ... if you don't know how to answer something, you don't know. I think lots of people find themselves in similar situations ... I know I've been in them. If there is info Idk what to write or don't want to, I skip it and then if they ask about it I'll ask for more clarification or just say Idk how to answer it, and then I'll think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 thanks, dragonfly Some of Us are very shattered and All of Us are jumpy thinking about tdocs after what happened last time thanks, melissa those forms can be tough sometimes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 i think Rosie was right on. your first appointment could be all about the forms themselves. she probably has really good reasons for the questions, but it might be hard to know what those reasons are until you ask. i can totally see why you wouldn't want to repeat having someone talk to your gdoc like that again - that was wrong. but knowing your medical history can also let her know if you have any physical issues that could be causing you mental distress - maybe she's ethical enough to not want to take your money for a problem someone else should be fixing (like if you had a brain injury, or hormonal difficulties, et cetera). a therapist is still useful in those situations but if she's good, she'd also want you to be seeing a specialist for your physical body. at least that's what jumps to my mind when i think about those questions and why she'd want to know. i'm so glad you've found someone you're considering talking to. that's a biggie and i wish you all the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 just looking at the forms again *sigh* wants a lot of family info including contact info that i DO NOT give out to anyone and haven't in a while why would i? why give out my abuser's 411 to healthcare providers? ugh and tiny, tiny, tiny blanks to answer the extremely open-ended questions it's like therapy via form i don't know about this, ya'll (thanks, lysergia) (for your good words) (and encouragement) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It's okay to say "I have no contact with this person" or "I have cut ties with that person". Those are reasonable responses to bad situations. And the bad situations are why therapy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 i'm tempted to buy a box of kids' cereal and get a decoder ring and write all my responses in code and then hand her the forms with the ring to see how committed she is to her forms and how she'd react *bad yarn* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Heh. That sounds like something I would dream of doing, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 oh good i'm not the only one, then? *feeling better* also The Forms ask how much value client places on religion and if client would like "religion incorporated into the counseling process" so. much. fun. to. be. had. there. dancing nekkid in the moonlight drumming? YES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 i think you should totally answer drumming nekkid in the moonlight. wouldn't it be great if we had forms we could give potential therapists? i would LOVE to design one of those. it is not at all problematic if you state that contact with your family is not applicable in your case, that you have someone who is your emergency contact and that is all that's relevant to express on a form like that. when i was estranged from my family i stated thus, and as long as i had *someone* who could be my emergency contact (with whom it would be okay to share medical information in a crisis), it was never ever a problem. if there are questions that are just impossible to answer in a tiny space, i would just write "information pending" or "see attachment". if anything is that important, she can ask you herself, and give you a chance to answer however you'd like - or, you could even attach a note to the forms saying "further information will be provided upon request, as i cannot accurately answer within the space given". i bet she gets incomplete forms all the time for that reason. you can do this. you've got dozens of people willing to help you go through each question one by one if you want to... and that's just between me and Rosie heh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarnandcats Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 hahahaha! "dozens of ppl" WE LOVE THAT SO MUCH would all ya'll have to sign The Form too? hmmmm i suppose i could just let the japanese country-western band that sings in four-part harmony about sushi and kwanzaa just fill out The Form hmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 if anything is that important, she can ask you herself, and give you a chance to answer however you'd like ^^THIS. If the question is important enough to her and you haven't filled it out, then she'll ask, and you can tell her (whatever). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 i suppose i could just let the japanese country-western band that sings in four-part harmony about sushi and kwanzaa just fill out The Form hmmmm hehehe! now that's getting passed around my head as potential song lyrics... sushi and kwanzaa. if one of us does write a song with that in it, i'll make sure there's also a line about yarn and cats so that you may be musically immortalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender fairy Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I hate those forms. My current tdoc had me fill them out in her office, and I was shaking and couldn't remember pertinent info. That never got in the way of out therapy. Other tdocs have e-mailed me forms, and I have been known to answer the forms on my computer and completely reformat them to meet my own needs. One tdoc, I just wrote a letter to stating what I wanted out of therapy and how scared I was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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