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possible tdoc; advice needed


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so.

*whispering*

there's this opportunity

for a possible tdoc

(if i say it too loud)

(might jinx it)

 

*"normal" Voices*

i emailed her

after seeing an advert

in a local coffee shop

she's

new to the area

and

looking for clients

 

she just emailed me

the

intake paperwork

to be filled out

and 

brought in

at first meeting/appt

 

*cue HUGE STRESS AND ANXIETY*

 

the info she wants

is a bit staggering

i still DO NOT 

understand why

a tdoc needs to know

my medical history for the 

past five years

and about

all my knee surgeries

?

 

this tdoc 

sees folks

at her home office

she is not affiliated

with any clinic/mental health center here

(except to the extent)

(necessary for billing and oversight)

 

i only want 

talk therapy

i'm a bit freaked

by most of the questions

 

last tdoc

(for those that remember)

had major boundary issues

and

had been "consulting"

my gdoc

WITHOUT my consent

as i later found out

via my gdoc

so

no more of that

 

am i just being paranoid?

am i shooting myself in the foot?

i don't even

know what this lady looks like

acts like

feels like

(to my gut)

but

i'm supposed to fork over

all this confidential info?

 

she gonna do the same for me?

(didn't think so)

 

oh, and i've been

tdoc/therapy-free

since 

st. patty's day this yr

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yeah

that is a possibility

and We did think

of that initially

 

i just feel

like i'll already be set up

to be seen 

as "mentally diseased"

by asking

for accomodation(s)

 

has happened before

 

does that make sense?

 

internalized hate of 

not being straight is

called 

"internalized homophobia"

so

what's the complementary term

for

internalized MI hatred/discomfort/whtvr?

 

that is a good suggestion

thanks, rosie

Edited by yarnandcats
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I think it's internalized stigmatization. It's completely reasonable to say "I had a previous care provider do things without my consent (like go to my gdoc) and as a result I've VERY careful what information I give out. Because that way it's easier to see what you've learned from me and what you've picked up from someone else." 

I think that any care provider would understand that.

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I would ask her why she needs to know certain information (maybe there is a reason that would make sense, but you might not realize it).  If she gives a good reason that you agree with, then you can give her the info.  But if you don't feel the information is not needed/not comfortable giving it, tell her why and see what she says.  Then go from there kind of.  Maybe you aren't a good match, or maybe you are, but you won't know without asking questions.

 

(I hope I worded that right ... having a hard time thinking today).

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rosie 

sometimes i don't feel

completely reasonable

about anything

so the fact that you said that

makes me feel

hopeful

thanks!

 

and thanks, melissa

you're right 

that i won't know

until i ask

and maybe i'm

just being a wuss

about the asking?

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Yarn. I just started seeing my first Tdoc. I had prewarned her I was very shattered and wasn't sure who she would meet. I was fresh from IP. I filled out the forms as best as I could at the time.

Imo your working with her should not depend on how well you fill out the forms.

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and thanks, melissa

you're right 

that i won't know

until i ask

and maybe i'm

just being a wuss

about the asking?

 

No, you aren't a wuss for asking ... if you don't know how to answer something, you don't know.  I think lots of people find themselves in similar situations ... I know I've been in them.  If there is info Idk what to write or don't want to, I skip it and then if they ask about it I'll ask for more clarification or just say Idk how to answer it, and then I'll think about it.

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i think Rosie was right on.  your first appointment could be all about the forms themselves.  she probably has really good reasons for the questions, but it might be hard to know what those reasons are until  you ask.  i can totally see why you wouldn't want to repeat having someone talk to your gdoc like that again - that was wrong.  but knowing your medical history can also let her know if you have any physical issues that could be causing you mental distress - maybe she's ethical enough to not want to take your money for a problem someone else should be fixing (like if you had a brain injury, or hormonal difficulties, et cetera).  a therapist is still useful in those situations but if she's good, she'd also want you to be seeing a specialist for your physical body.  at least that's what jumps to my mind when i think about those questions and why she'd want to know.

 

i'm so glad you've found someone you're considering talking to.  that's a biggie and i wish you all the best :)

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just looking at the

forms again

*sigh*

wants a lot of family info

including contact info

that i DO NOT give out

to anyone

and haven't in a while

 

why would i?

why give out

my abuser's 411

to healthcare providers?

ugh

 

and tiny, tiny, tiny

blanks to answer

the extremely open-ended

questions

it's like

therapy

via

form

 

i don't know about this,

ya'll

 

(thanks, lysergia)

(for your good words)

(and encouragement)

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oh good

i'm not the only one, then?

*feeling better*

 

also

The Forms

ask

how much value 

client places on religion

and

if client would like

"religion incorporated into the counseling process"

so. much. fun. to. be. had. there.

 

dancing nekkid

in the moonlight

drumming?

YES

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i think you should totally answer drumming nekkid in the moonlight.

 

wouldn't it be great if we had forms we could give potential therapists?  i would LOVE to design one of those.

 

it is not at all problematic if you state that contact with your family is not applicable in your case, that you have someone who is your emergency contact and that is all that's relevant to express on a form like that.  when i was estranged from my family i stated thus, and as long as i had *someone* who could be my emergency contact (with whom it would be okay to share medical information in a crisis), it was never ever a problem.

 

if there are questions that are just impossible to answer in a tiny space, i would just write "information pending" or "see attachment".  if anything is that important, she can ask you herself, and give you a chance to answer however you'd like - or, you could even attach a note to the forms saying "further information will be provided upon request, as i cannot accurately answer within the space given".  i bet she gets incomplete forms all the time for that reason.

 

you can do this.  you've got dozens of people willing to help you go through each question one by one if you want to... and that's just between me and Rosie heh :)

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hahahaha!

"dozens of ppl"

WE LOVE THAT SO MUCH

 

would all ya'll

have to sign 

The Form

too?

hmmmm

 

i suppose

i could just let

the japanese country-western band

that sings in four-part harmony

about sushi and kwanzaa

just fill out The Form

hmmmm

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i suppose

i could just let

the japanese country-western band

that sings in four-part harmony

about sushi and kwanzaa

just fill out The Form

hmmmm

 

hehehe!

 

now that's getting passed around my head as potential song lyrics... sushi and kwanzaa.  if one of us does write a song with that in it, i'll make sure there's also a line about yarn and cats so that you may be musically immortalized. :D

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I hate those forms.  My current tdoc had me fill them out in her office, and I was shaking and couldn't remember pertinent info.  That never got in the way of out therapy.  Other tdocs have e-mailed me forms, and I have been known to answer the forms on my computer and completely reformat them to meet my own needs.  One tdoc, I just wrote a letter to stating what I wanted out of therapy and how scared I was. 

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