How to tell if you're sounding rude?

[iaawal]

I really want to apologize to my boss because I believe I sounded rude/pushy. But I'm not sure if I actually did. 

 

I always wonder this, but how do you determine if you sounded rude? 

[Angeni Mai]

I always say to myself, "If somebody said what I said, would I think it was rude?"

Chances are, if you're questioning it, it likely was.

[iaawal]

The thing is I always question it.

 

So either I'm the most rude person out there or I'm overthinking it. 

[Angeni Mai]

Likely the latter of the two, hun. 

[Simniac]

Someone told me a while ago that if someone is angry or upset about something you said or did, it was their responsibility to tell it to you directly, otherwise it wasn't worth worrying about, and I'm starting to think that she had the right idea. If you worry about what everyone thinks about you, and you try to make everyone happy and like you, you'll only end up exhausting yourself. The reality will always be that some people will like you while others will dislike you, there's not one single person out there who can escape that fact, so it's not worth the stress without some "concrete evidence" imo.

[Gearhead]

I think that that's a good point and good advice, Simniac.

 

Sometimes I have the same problem as the OP, usually because of my tone of voice or because I realize too late that I have just made a joke no one gets.In the case of a joke fail, I just say "That was a joke," and let the lameness disperse as it will.

[Simniac]

Thanks. She also said to keep your close friends, family and people you care about close, it's all in moderation, of course, I don't mean becoming so emotionless and careless that you don't care about anyone, but worry too much about what everyone else you meet care about you, and it will without a doubt eventually leave some sort of a psychological trauma, a lot of them will eventually find a way to turn that weakness against you and betray you, and you'll end up with a feeling of hopelessness and distrust towards others, perhaps even to the point that some might consider evil (I've been there, done that, a lot, so that's what happened to me, but I think it might be common for people within the ASD as well, since a lot of us worry a lot about what others think of us, it's in our nature. I've managed to overcome that weakness a lot so it doesn't bother me as much as it used to anymore, so it's thankfully not impossible for us to overcome this weakness with the right treatment.

Edited December 21, 2014 by Simniac